Fuck I never thought I'd put my problems into the forums on TOTSE, but this is the 2nd time I'm doing it. Well I split with my girlfriend a couple of months ago, and since then have been having single fun, hooking up with chicks at parties an' all that. She has moved straight on to this guy (they are exclusively "seeing" each other), who really digs her, and yeah he's a nice bloke an' all that. However he is very protective, and my ex and I (because we still get on real well together) went to see a band in London last night, and then she came back to stay the night at mine, because her town is a ways away out of london, mine is near to it. Of course he was phoning her every 15 minutes to check she was ok. She fucking hates this, and was moaning about how she finds him "ok" but nothing special, and how he is too overwhelming considering she just came out of a year and a 1/2 relationship with me. So we sit up last night and talk to about 3.30am, and then she turns to me and says "I still love you you know, you're perfect to me and by being with him I'm just settling for second best". of course this was quite a shock, and then i realised that yeah i love her too still. We both realise also however that getting back together right now would be awkward so soon after splitting. But one thing led to another and we had some really good sex till the sun rose (seemed the right thing to do). so later this morning she was on msn and this guy came on whining about her staying at my house and how hes not going to this day festival tomorrow with her and shit which really pissed her off. She borrowed money and came with me up to london (i wanted to get some new guitar leads there) and then left to go see this guy. I rang her just now to see if she was ok (she asked me to when she left) and no answer, which probably means they are both humping the bunk at his place, although she planned on telling him to back off and give her time to think.

and now I'm confused because i dont know whether i want to ask her out again but i know i still love and miss her and she loves and misses me. in fact i really have no fucking clue at all.

i feel a bit better now.

Twiggy

thought you'd say that

If there's one thing I've learned about relationships, it's not to rush things. There's no need to ask her out immediately. Just be patient and see how things work out.

She's still with her current boyfriend. Wait until she breaks up with him. If you just go along with this and accept that she's playing you, she's going to keep USING you until he finds out and threatens you or she gets bored and dumps either one or both of you.

If I were you, I wouldn't get any more involved until she's single again. After she's broken it off with the other guy THEN you can guys can concentrate on rebuilding a relationship.

your probably right. its just so frustrating ya know!?

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cause i wanted too

wwelcome to the adult world of relationships mate.

it only gets worse from here on in!

the only thing you can do is have nothing to do with her til she's made her mind up which will probably be never.

go look for a nice sweet uncomplicated girl and when you find her let us all know cos somewhere there must be one...

She may not have answered because they're actually talking. The chance is slim, but still there.

She sounds confused, like she doesn't know what she wants. Perhaps she wants two cakes to eat from.

Best thing you can do at the moment is to be her FRIEND, and not do anything more physical until she's straightened herself out. One, this shows that you respect her, and two it'll give her a chance to clear her head.

Oh yea, from a chick who's been with similar guys ... he doesn't trust her, and it sounds like he's drifting towards an obsessive possession. He could get dangerous, so let her know this: in a "hey, watch out" not a "I want you, leave him he's a jerk" way.

yes you all probably right to be honest. got some long ass email from her today as well. which makes the situation SO much better (sarcasm). fuck this shit. im gonna get drunk and find chicks to bone!

quote:Originally posted by Twiggy:

im gonna get drunk and find chicks to bone!

That's the spirit!

^^^^