HI GUYS

I JUS NEED YOUR OPINION ON THIS PLS ....

I RECENTLY BROKE UP WITH MY B/F BECAUSE HIS FRIENDS WERE MORE IMPORTANT TO HIM AND HE LIED A FEW TIMES.

IN THE BEGINNING OF OUR RELATIONSHIP WE DISCUSSED OUR PASSED SEXUAL EXPERIENCES.

I WAS A VIRGIN, BUT I LIED TO HIM THAT I HAD SEX WITH MY LAST BOYFRIEND.

I GUESS PART OF IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS EMBARRASED.

AFTER BREAKING UP WITH HIM, I WROTE HIM A LETTER TELLING HIM HOW I FELT ABOUT HIM, HOW I THOUGHT THINGS WERE GOING TO BE BETWEEN US AND HOW DISAPPOINTED I AM WITH HIM, I ALSO ADMITTED I WAS A VIRGIN WHEN WE MADE LOVE, HE WAS MY FIRST.

WE WENT OUT FOR OVER TWO YEARS.

HE IS NOW REALLY PISSED OF WITH ME BECAUSE I LIED ABOUT IT.

I DON'T GET IT, WOULD HE HAVE PREFERED THAT I WASN'T A VIRGIN.

I MEAN IF ANYTHING, HE SHOULD BE HAPPY THAT HE WAS MY FIRST, RIGHT ???

ALSO, HE SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT I CAME CLEAN WITH THE WHOLE THING.

I REALLY WANTED TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM, BUT A CLEAN SLATE, NO MORE LIES.

HE SAYS THAT I'MA LIAR AND THATS HOW HE SEE'S ME.

ISN'T HE EXAGGERATING THE WHOLE THING ???

YES, HE IS EXAGGERATING. THAT'S REALLY NOT A BIG THING TO LIE ABOUT. PERSONALLY, I'M WONDERING IF HE'S A STUPID PIECE OF SHIT, SINCE, AS IT APPEARS BY YOUR POST, HE DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE WHEN HE TOOK YOUR VIRGINITY.

STILL, LOOK AT IT FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE. IF YOU LIED ABOUT THIS, WHAT ELSE MIGHT YOU HAVE LIED ABOUT? THAT'S PROBABLY HOW HE SEES IT. THAT'S HOW I WOULD SEE IT.

JUST HOW A REALLY GOOD TALK WITH HIM AND EXPLAIN THAT YOU WANT A COMPLETELY HONEST RELATIONSHIP FROM NOW ON.

I would, whoop sorry sorry let me get this right. I WOULD SAY HE IS PISSED OFF BECAUSE HE PROBABLE WANTED TO MAKE IT SPEICAL, BUT BECAUSE YOU LIED THAT YOU ARE A BUT SLUT HE JUST FUCKED YOU, OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT, WHO CARES.

ALMOST EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME ONLY FROM THE OTHER SIDE. AFTER MY GIRLFRIEND AND I BROKE UP, I FOUND OUT SHE HAD BEEN LYING TO ME ABOUT A FEW THINGS. I DIDN'T FEEL I COULD TRUST HER AFTER THAT. WHY DID YOU LIE TO HIM?

LISTEN, THE BEST THING FOR YOU TO DO RIGHT NOW IS TO JUST ACCEPT THAT YOU SCREWED UP AND LOST SOMEONE'S TRUST FOREVER, TRY TO GROW AS A PERSON FROM THIS IMPORTANT LEARNING EXPERIENCE, BE MORE HONEST IN THE FUTURE, AND MOVE ON.

ZANE WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE A TALL, SKINNY WHITE KID WITH A BIG NOSE, WOULD IT? KINDA JEWISH?

EDIT: FORGOT TO CAPS IT.

[This message has been edited by The_Rabbi (edited 08-04-2004).]

lmao

why oops WHY ALL THE CAPS ????? TELL ME

BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY IF I REPLIED IN A SERIOUS MANNER WITH ALL CAPS, LIKE THE ORIGINAL POST.

THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL.

@THE RABBI, NOPE, HE ISN'T....

THATS WHAT I WANT US TO DO, START OVER AGAIN.

I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY FOR HIM TO BELIEVE WHAT EVER I SAY, BUT TELLING HIM THAT I WA SA VIRGIN WHEN WE HAD SEX WAS THE ONLY LIE...

ITS SOMETHING I HAD TO DO AT THAT POINT IN TIME....

THERE HAS BEEN CASES WHERE HE HAS LIED ABOUT STUFF..

THIS IS WHY I WANT ALL THE LIES TO STOP,S O WE CAN MOVE FOWARD WITH EACH OTHER.

I DUNNO WHAT ELSE TO TELL HIM, I CAN'T FORCE HIM TO TRUST ME...BUT FOR HIM TO THINK THAT THATS WHAT I'M ALL ABOUT IS UNFAIR.

DAMN, TOO BAD. I THOUGHT MAYBE I KNEW HIM. I KNOW A ZANE, HE'S A COOL GUY. WELL, I KNEW HIM. HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL.

ANYWAY, LIKE I SAID IN MY FIRST RRPLY, I THINK YOU REALLY DO NEED TO TALK TO HIM AND TELL HIM ALL OF THIS. IT'S THE ONLY WAY, BESIDES MOVING ON AND FORGETTING HIM.

THANKS FOR THE RESPONSE GUYS....

I WISH I COULD MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND WHY I LIED...

I HOPE WE CAN WORK THIS OUT...I GUESS IF ITS MEAN'T TO BE IT WILL BE.

This isn't a popular response, but you could take the high road and say something like "Know what? I don't know why I lied, and I now I think it was kind of stupid". Because that's hopefully closer to the truth. You're hanging on to justifying it, when the best thing is to let it go and acknowledge that it was not a wise thing to do. Owning up to wrongdoing is the beginning of building trust.

If you're insistent on justifying one lie, how could anyone trust that you're not just as insistent in justifying others?

Lying should be avoided. It fucks with your character.

[This message has been edited by deadlycindy (edited 08-04-2004).]

my ears hurt

GIRL YOU FUCKED UP.

WHY DO GIRLS LIE ABOUT NOT BEING A VIRGIN. GUYS LIKE VIRGINS. THEY JUST STAY AWAY FROM THE CAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID THAT THEY WONT GET ANY. BUT WE LIKE VIRGINS PLEASE DONT LIE ABOUT THAT.

AND FORGET ABOUT THIS GUY HES NOT INTERESTED IN YOU. NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN BUT HES JUST LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE NOT TO BE WITH YOU.

I TOTALLY LIKE CAN'T READ ANY OF THESE REPLIES BECAUSE THEY TRANSLATE IN MY MIND TO SHOUTING. WAS THE INTENT OF THE ORIGINAL POSTER SHOUTING? I LIKE SHOUTING. THIS IS FUN

That's a pretty big lie. Learn from it and move on.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

This isn't a popular response, but you could take the high road and say something like "Know what? I don't know why I lied, and I now I think it was kind of stupid". Because that's hopefully closer to the truth. You're hanging on to justifying it, when the best thing is to let it go and acknowledge that it was not a wise thing to do. Owning up to wrongdoing is the beginning of building trust.

If you're insistent on justifying one lie, how could anyone trust that you're not just as insistent in justifying others?

Lying should be avoided. It fucks with your character.

[This message has been edited by deadlycindy (edited 08-04-2004).]

YOU SPELLED CAPS LOCK* WRONG.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

This isn't a popular response, but you could take the high road and say something like "Know what? I don't know why I lied, and I now I think it was kind of stupid". Because that's hopefully closer to the truth. You're hanging on to justifying it, when the best thing is to let it go and acknowledge that it was not a wise thing to do. Owning up to wrongdoing is the beginning of building trust.

If you're insistent on justifying one lie, how could anyone trust that you're not just as insistent in justifying others?

Lying should be avoided. It fucks with your character.

[This message has been edited by Jesus (edited 12-25-0).]

exactly! thank you.

THANKS DEADLY CINDY......

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO RESPONDED.

Of everyone in this thread, myself, Cindy, and lordsjohnson are the only ones I don't want to murder.

quote:Originally posted by ZANESGIRL:

.

I RECENTLY BROKE UP WITH MY B/F BECAUSE HIS FRIENDS WERE MORE IMPORTANT TO HIM



Boyfriends/Girlfriends come and go...but friends are forever...

I DONT KNOW WHY WE'RE ALL USING CAPS, I FEEL LIKE WE'RE IN A HELICOPTER WITH BIG EAR MUFFS YELLING OVER THE NOISE OF THE CHOPPERS.

ANYWAYS, I THINK YOUR BOYFRIEND IS AN IDIOT TO BEGIN WITH. YOU DONT WANT TO CONTINUE A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO CANT THINK ON A REASONABLY RATIONAL LEVEL. FUCK THAT GUY...NOT AGAIN I MEAN, YOU NO, OH WHATS THAT, WERE LANDING, CAN I TAKE THESE EARMUFFS OFF AND, oh yeah, thats better

fuckin caps man, freakin me out for some reason, i like started havin a panic attack. but anyways, i know i would be upset if u lied about somehting liek that cuz that means since i was your first there might be some kind of extra emotional attachment goin on that he didnt pickup/consider before. but thats just me. i would type more but its like almost 430 in morening and i gotta be at work at 6. gonna be a long day.

ur no angel! U lied too, now u look even like more of a LIAR. Why would u lie about that? I swear teens are way to immature to be having sex. TRUST/HONESTY is all that matters when ur in a relationship, niether of u seems to understand that. Do u expect him to forgive u?

So you broke up with your bf because he lied a few times and, according to you, acts like his friends are more important than you...

Jesus. You need to realize that you can't have 100% of his time. Maybe if you weren't so needy he wouldn't have lied. And starting your relationship with a lie wasn't exactly a smart thing to do, and then perpetuating the lie for two years. If I were him I'd realize what a bitch that you are and move on without looking back.

All in all you may be a pretty decent girl, you are just a bit naive about relationships. Now that you've come clean with him, move on.

MY OPINION IS THAT THE BF IS USING THE VIRGIN LIE JUST TO COUNTER HIS LIES...I ALSO AGREE THAT HE SHOULD'VE BEEN SOMEWHAT PLEASED THAT HE WAS THE FIRST & ONLY...AND I DONT BELIEVE THAT THE "SINGLE LIE" ABOUT THE VIRGINITY IS A BIG DEAL IN A TWO YEAR RELATIONSHIP...UNLESS U LIED ABOUT SWALLOWING WHEN U REALLY SPAT IT OUT...

MY ADVICE IS TO FORGET ABOUT HIM...