The dreams are getting worse now it seems.

As most of you know, I went through a harsh break up with my fiance a little over a monthe ago. I thought I was fine but I keep having these dreams that plague me. Almost every night for the past 2 weeks I've had a dream with her in it. Most of them aren't sexual, but they are intense emotional experiences. I had one where her and I were laying on the beach together and watching the stars. The sky looked like someone had spilled colorful paint on it. She just vanished from my arms right there.

Another one was her going out of her way to make this break up a living hell for me.

And last night I dreamt of today. I came home from work and the next day my dad said she called and wanted to talk.

I've never went through so much after a break up. These dreams, every night, plague me and I feel like I'm falling apart. It feels like something vitally important is tearing at me and I can't do anything to stop the ever increasing spiral down. Both her and I are Pagan and experimented with astral projection, I've heard from a few people that she seems really depressed and lonely these days and I'm wondering if she's trying to reach me but is too afraid to call. I know I am, for fear of rejection, but I desperately miss her. I don't know whether or not I could be with her again, I don't think I can trust someone that's put me through so much emotional stress. This is hard for me to write so I'd appreciate if the flames were kept to a minimum.

~Jaik.