Everyone,

I'm not sure of what to do in this situation, and I guess it includes affection, so I put it here. (&TOTSE is my HAVEN for advice, as long as I have TIME!!!) Alright, well, as you all know, my best friend and I aren't exactly what you'd call normal. Well, her boyfriend and I just had a very interesting conversation. Even though I was over at her house when he was there earlier, he still had to wait till I got on the internet to confront me. Anyway, he's saying stuff like "I'm gonna kick your ass" and "Who invited you to the concert?" cuz her and him are going to a concert, and she invited me. He's got it in his head that I'm a crazed stalker and that I'm jealous of him, even though I've told him that I know my place is next to her, as the BEST friend, not the BOYfriend, he still can't get it through that skull of his. He's so intent on proving that I'm out to break them up that he'll do anything to prove it. He's saying I'm butting in on their relationship, when I haven't said shit about him to her. He says that I'm butting in on their date when she invited me AND another person to the concert (provided we get our own rides).

If any of you want a log of the convo I had w/ him, then lemme know, maybe some of you can tell me the emotion he's portraying, and possibly the hidden emotion or fear that's driving this, although I believe that it's the fact that he feels threatened by our great friendship.

Thx in advance for your help: past, present, and future.

Disicpulus

Um, he's crazy.

Were you best friends before he came along? Maybe you should only see her when he's not around (although I understand it would be cool to hang out with her and her boyfriend). Does the girl know this is going on? Maybe she could reassure him. As long as he doesn't actually kick your ass, it's not an immediate danger. Even if he does, maybe the chick will understand the situation more clearly. Silver lining, right?

Maybe you could get her to explain to him that you've never been romantically interested in one another (unless you have- bad idea). The best way for him to hear this would be for it to come from her. Just make sure you handle the situation delicately, or she might turn on you.

I am treading very softly, but she said to me the other night "I don't want anything, or anyone, to come in between our friendship, because I can't afford to lose a friend like you. You've been there for me during a lot of my shitty days" or something like that. I think one of the reasons she said that was because we didn't talk for like a month cuz she was pissed at me, and I know she did miss me. And yes, I would go as far as to say that I love this girl, and she looks to me as a brother. I sort of see myself as the brotherly role too, cuz I mean, I give her money out of every paycheck, I help her get what she needs/wants, I'm there for her when she's got a problem, and I'm protecting of her. Her boyfriend, Neil, just doesn't get it. He's so convinced that I'm out to break them up that it isn't even funny. I wouldn't be surprised if he would believe me if I said "Neil, I was just sitting down for 3 hours trying to think of ways to split you and her up."

I wouldn't be that mean, but I know he would believe me. Anyway, I'm going to bed for now. See you guys tomorrow.

PS: Well, they went out, then broke up, then I met her, then they went out again, broke up again, we became greater friends, they went out and broke up a 3rd time, and this is the 4th time they're going out. Was he there first? Yes. During the periods of they're break-ups they seldom talked though (except between 3 and 4). Her and I talked all the time. Anywas, peace.

[This message has been edited by Discipulus (edited 07-24-2004).]

Tell him you're like her brother and you don't look at her that way.

He's obviously insecure and feels your associations with her are inappropriate. Explain that you knew her before he did, and if anything was going to happen, it would have.

Maybe you need to try to speak his language to get through to him. Tell him to think about the fact that you're in "the friend zone" and you're her "shoulder to cry on" (to borrow from other current threads) and that's not the kind of guy that girls consider for romantic possibilities.

Tell him he talks to much shit, in this 3 way relation you wear the pants and he better staighten up before you shank his ass. The if he decides to beat you up, shank his ass, its as simple as that, and if you need any help just give me a call, i need something to do with my time

Well, more news: after getting his parents involved, she (being his mom) called my best friend's step-dad, the kind of guy you don't want pissed at you. He talked to me and said "You don't need to explain anything to me, I honestly don't care, but I don't want to get a headache out of this. I give everyone one chance. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt just once, and if they fuck that up, then they don't get it back. I don't want another parental complaint about you." to which I simply said "I completely understand where you're coming from, have a nice day." Personally, I do understand where he's coming from because the kind of shit Neil is starting up is KID shit, and he's 17 fucking years old. He's trying to start up drama and trouble where it wasn't before.

If he can't be happy that she's friends w/ me then I honestly think that he should break up w/ her. So, would anyone agree if I decided to just stop messin w/ him, continue w/ my friendship w/ her, and if he gives me any shit, just beat the piss out of him?

ok, this ones easy. club the son of a bitch. if he keeps on, call the cops and claim self defense. because its the truth.

Discipulus,

Like i said to you on the other post reply, things are going to get worse if you don't let it be.

So what if he does not want you to come on a poxy concert let them go, No wait go with about 10 of your friends and as soon as he says a word mob him.

Don't break off your friendship. The guy is an insecure dumbass.

He sounds like an asshole. Give her shit about being with him. If she's really a best friend, she won't repeat shit and will probably consider what you're saying. If she's a shitty friend, looks like it still sucks to be you.

dont be a cockblocker for him. just leave her alone, cant you find another friend for a while. its people that you that make me sick you give her money,let her cry on your shoulder,etc... and you still get no pussy? what the fuck is wrong with you? I think the problem is that your just a gay cockgobbler.

Shit greyhat, I thought no one was going to say it. I couldnt give a shit either way, but you both sound equally stupid about this issue.

exactly duck "cockgobbler" no one really gives a fuck about this guys life.