It seems when I'm in a relationship with a woman, there comes a point where it's lost all sense of viability. I get bored. I start wishing I'm single again. The thing is, I may really like her, be physically attracted to her and be generally happy but something in my convoluted way of thinking steers me towards getting out.

Flip side - When I'm single and I mean single for a period of time, I long for a steady GF, hate being single and generally "think" I want to settle down with someone I can reliably count on being there as my "better half" long-term.

I'm much happier while in a relationship until that feeling of being "trapped" comes about, and conversely I'm also happy being single again until I've been single long enough to forget the benefits and sense of romance that comes with having someone special in my life I can count on and know is there. It's a vicious cycle.

Anyway, I'm not really looking for advice (although it's welcome), but others views and/or experiences on keeping a relationship alive. I've seen couples that have been together for many years and still seem to be perfectly in tune and happy with each other. I'd like to know how they do it.

When you meet someone *special* you won't get bored of them. Perhaps you're just going out with girls who are wrong for you?

I was a serial dater for a while but now I've learned what I want in a partner. I'm more picky with whom I choose to go out with - the result? I've been single for over a year. I know those single blues you feel. I hate being single but it's better than trying to make a wrong relationship work. I made the mistake of trying to be with someone whom I was only semi attracted to and it turned into a disaster.

I don't think it's you, I think it's just you haven't found someone who is right for you.

Either that or you NEED to take a break every once in a while?

The problem with relationships that last are boredom and general annoyance. When your lover is also your best friend they can do things that just PISS YOU OFF and have you grind your teeth into nothing. These same things, your best friend who is NOT your lover can get away with and you'd just say "dude you're an asshole, toss me a beer" and that would be that. It's just that these things coming from someone you genuinly love and care about can really hurt you.

On the plus side of this things that your best friend who is NOT your lover would do that would just get a "thanks pal" have deep and significant meaning coming from the one you love who is your best friend.

Such is life. A balance of extreme emotion with love and a balance of moderate emotion without.

Mojo, you pretty much nailed it (as usual). I'm on the lookout and have had opportunities but have passed because I see it as going nowhere. I'm horny but not really interested in passing sex with no possible future interest. At this stage in my life I'd settle for a quick fuck but that's not really what I'm looking for, so it would be a cheap thrill and leave me feeling hollow.

exo, thanks for the response... if I hadn't been in prison for the last 2 1/2 years I'd entertain the idea of needing a break, but you probably don't know my background, it's not good... but thanks anyway.



Traffic Lights, you confuse me. That's all I have to say.

Is ok I have a confusing train of thought.

I mean in long term relationships your partner will often become your best friend because you spend so much time with eachother and you have things in common or the relationship wouldn't last that long anyway. But there's love involved, and with love comes the ability to cut deep real deep. Even a simple "Fuck you" said with the right tone coming from the one you love can hurt on far more levels then if your friend said "Fuck you". Hell I usually just laugh if a friend of mine says "Fuck you" to me.

And as friends, friends bust on eachother a lot. It's a matter of humor. One's who love you know you more intimately, and also carry that factor of you usually care what this person thinks about you. So some comments meant in jest (especially when made over and over and over or in front of friends) can really start to rub you the wrong way. Just make you want to say FUCK THIS and be out and on with life.

On the flip side of this though, because they know you so intimately, they know how to comfort you how to make you happy, how to please you. Something as simple as "it's going to be ok" can mean a lot coming from the one you love, when if it's just coming from a casual friend only merits a "thanks dude".

It's called "man". You see, as biological beings (and speaking only as such) it is in the interests of our genes and our species not to tie ourselves to one partner. My only advice to you is go shag some bitches hombre. Life is too short to waste with one girl. If you think different... good for you... enjoy your life. Put yourself above the bullshit and be who you are, not what you think you should be.

Traffic lights, I think I know where you're coming from. The deep personal part of the relationship is where I'd like to be, but without the on-again-off-again aspect. I'm not afraid of intimacy, I want to feel that, but the fact that I can give so much, and maybe my expectation of returned honesty has been so ill-perceived that I've become callous? I don't know. I really seem to want more out of it than I seem to get... hence the apprehension in staying in the damn thing. But I certainly understand the fluctuating intricacies inherent in "said" relationship, and I wish I could just relax sometimes and enjoy it.

Duckfriend, I can jack off and get the same pleasure as if slamming a hottie. I would prefer the latter but in retrospect it would seem I'm craving affection and solidarity in my life, something tangible and "there" the next day when I need a familiar face/persona... e.g. "her"

My brain is about to explode, see you peeps manana.....

Hell. Maybe you just aren't ready for a longterm relationship. Develope yourself more before looking to someone else to "complete" you.