Approximatly 2 days ago, me and girfriend were talking about anal sex..4 houres ago we did it..kind of..

Yes you can go ahead and laugh at me because after a while I thought it was funny too.

We were on the bed going doggystyle and I decided to..suprise her in her..poop-chute?..So I did......And I scared the shit out of her..She fucking pooped...I felt it on my dick and pulled out really fast..It somewhat got on the bed..She went into the bathroom and started crying, and told me to leave. So after I said my apoligies for (suprising) I went to starbucks and got a venti mocha furrap. damn...

What a crappy thread.

^--- Pun intended?

You should go talk to that ToyBoy fellow.

That was a serious violation of her body.

Kobe got his wife a diamond ring for raping someone else, what you got?

All joking aside, that's generally a line you don't want to cross. You have to "work up" to anal sex. Not only was it probably extremely painful for her physically, she most likely feels emotionally hurt and embarraseed. Her defecating makes it that much worse.

If I was her I would have beat the living shit out of with the closest blunt (or sharp) object I could find. You better present her with a strap-on and bend over. That's the only way I would forgive you.

quote:Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

You should go talk to that ToyBoy fellow.

That was a serious violation of her body.

Kobe got his wife a diamond ring for raping someone else, what you got?

All joking aside, that's generally a line you don't want to cross. You have to "work up" to anal sex. Not only was it probably extremely painful for her physically, she most likely feels emotionally hurt and embarraseed. Her defecating makes it that much worse.

If I was her I would have beat the living shit out of with the closest blunt (or sharp) object I could find. You better present her with a strap-on and bend over. That's the only way I would forgive you.



You can forgive me anytime no i'm joking, but anyway, yeah you definately need to appologise like mad man..

Man, you are such a dumbass. When will people learn?

quote:Originally posted by AllShallPerish:

Approximatly 2 days ago, me and girfriend were talking about anal sex..4 houres ago we did it..kind of..

Yes you can go ahead and laugh at me because after a while I thought it was funny too.

We were on the bed going doggystyle and I decided to..suprise her in her..poop-chute?..So I did......And I scared the shit out of her..She fucking pooped...I felt it on my dick and pulled out really fast..It somewhat got on the bed..She went into the bathroom and started crying, and told me to leave. So after I said my apoligies for (suprising) I went to starbucks and got a venti mocha furrap. damn...

Damn.. Not smart.. Not smart. Aside from the fact that you had to be stupid and not use lube.. you surprised her, therefore meaning you shoved it in there, causing her IMMENSE pain. I've only done that once with my g/f and only because she thought she was ready, and she basically ended up in tears for a couple minutes. So.. yeah.. stupid move on your part.

My dog! Are you fucking stupid? She should ram a broomstick in your asshole.

How could you drink anything Mocha after that? I mean, it'd be like having meatballs in gravy for dinner afterward. You latent scat-fetishist, you.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Holy shit that is hilarious. "Then she pooped on the bed" Oh man that would be so disgusting, and would probably sink my dick inside of me for at least a week.

Dude that really sucks. And gross too. How old are you? You do know that your relationship is preaty much over. She wont be able to look at you anymore and when ever you look at her you will picture her pooping. My suggestion is to start looking for a new gf and no more surprizes. Your lucky though at least you know for a fact she wont tell anyone about this. So might as well break up with her. LOL hahaha althought that would have to be one of the funniest thing someone has ever broken up for.

Sounds like you had a pretty shitty night..

"What would ya do for a Klondike bar..."

I read it again, and I call BS. No pun intended.

this is one of the funniest fuckin thread ive seen in a long time. gross yes, funny deffinitly. i feel bad for you tho, yet where able to choke down a mocha frapp after this so no wait i dont feel bad.

quote:Originally posted by plehem12:

What a crappy thread.

LMAO!!

Funniest thing I've heard all day.

that would be the most embarrasing moment of my life if that happened to me. if i were you i would offer as many apologies as possible and break up the relationship as fast as possible. you probly wont be able to even look at each other without feeling embarrased. its not worth it.

HAHAHAHAHHAHA thats hilarious.

Maybe I just bang sluts but they all know how to take (and ask for) it up the ass I'm pretty sure they usually go to the toilet for some reason beforehand though.

How old are you? (jw)

I'm still trying to figure out which one got owned more.

quote:Originally posted by AllShallPerish:

And I scared the shit out of her..

<Beavis & Butthead style laughter>

[This message has been edited by heisler (edited 07-15-2004).]

ROFROFOROFROfROFLL. Hilarious thread.

i give this thread 18 lol's

Holy fuck. When I took it up the butt, I used almost a half bottle of lube, he went so fucking slowly and gently, and I still cried.

How could you be so fucking stupid?

quote:Originally posted by Bleedthrough:

How could you drink anything Mocha after that? I mean, it'd be like having meatballs in gravy for dinner afterward. You latent scat-fetishist, you.



Do meatballs in gravy seem less fetish-like to you ? I don't know...

Dude, why'd you stop ?

Stephanina, don't be such a tightass.

Shit happens...u need to take control of the situation...don't put up with any of her crap...she's the one who's gotta get her shit together about it...if u do nothing it'll all end up down the toilet...& u may be the one that'll have to carry the shit around with you...

quote:Originally posted by Johnnx:

Shit happens...u need to take control of the situation...don't put up with any of her crap...she's the one who's gotta get her shit together about it...if u do nothing it'll all end up down the toilet...& u may be the one that'll have to carry the shit around with you...

omg that made me laugh my ass off, true too

quote:Originally posted by AllShallPerish:

...And I scared the shit out of her..

HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA

HA

If I ever ever did anything like to that to any girl, I'd go to her, with the sorriest look on my face, give her a baseball bat (possibly even a gun, any guilt the average person has, if I get guilty, amplify the guilt by 1.5) and tell her to use it on me.

I know you may have thought it was a good thing to do at the time, but seriously.. you shoulda talked about before. Even if you don't get her back, you should try and make up for it.

Prove to her you feel like SHIT.

Suck Shit...

Yeah, if I were you, I'd break up with her..

u know after u felt the shit on ur dick did u ever have a thought of cleaning ur cock? or do u have a fetish of shit dix 2?

quote:Originally posted by Little Pea:

Dude, why'd you stop ?

because she shitted on the bed

Dude, you suck at life.

If you knew even the first thing about anal sex (which is common sense), you should know you have to go slow at first. By the way you described it, it sounds like you just stuck it in.

Second, you should not surprise ANYBODY like that for ANY REASON.

I really, really hope she tosses you to the curb. You dont deserve a relationship.

Holy shit... Perish, you are a FUCKING NOOB. Funny story though. Holy shit dude, you watch too much fuckin' porn. You can't just ram the shit up there, bad shit happens, heh.

!!!1337!!!

YEah i watch stax of porn and i even know that chix B4 hand have 2 bleach their anuss and take laxatives so they dont get shit on tha guys dick, just watch some jenna haze movies....

AllShallPerish, does your girlfriend realize you saved a part of her life for posteriority ?

im 17.....yes yes I know I made a mistake..go ahead tell me im dumb etc. Well its been a couple days, and I havent talked to her since, mostly cause..(im afraid too)

quote:Originally posted by asianhippie2003:

u know after u felt the shit on ur dick did u ever have a thought of cleaning ur cock? or do u have a fetish of shit dix 2?

I cleaned my dick with that mouth wash listerine stuff, made sure none got in the hole etc. took a few showers..

No, seriously, I actually want to know what you could possibly have been thinking. That it would just slide right in there?

What aspects of anal sex were you discussing with her? Do you know anything about it? What were you thinking???

quote:Originally posted by stephanina:

No, seriously, I actually want to know what you could possibly have been thinking. That it would just slide right in there?

What aspects of anal sex were you discussing with her? Do you know anything about it? What were you thinking???

Im young and stupid ok..I dont know about anal sex..Ive never raped my asshole with anything. We were talking and I was like oh yea what about trying somehting different and I suggested anal and shes like alright maby in a few days and a few days later...it happened

Wow.....just wow...

Seriously...

wow...

I call BS if you're only 17 you would have had a condom on and nothing would have got on your dick. (assuming your GF isn't on the pill)

If I'm wrong fuck you for not having one on. The pill isn't perfect you know. And thats a big risk to take at your age.

quote:Originally posted by DeAtHsTyLe:

I call BS if you're only 17 you would have had a condom on and nothing would have got on your dick. (assuming your GF isn't on the pill)

If I'm wrong fuck you for not having one on. The pill isn't perfect you know. And thats a big risk to take at your age.

she was on the pill, we both werent worried about STD's because we lost our virginity to eachother.

dont worry about it...live & learn...just call her and sort things out...its not the end of the world...

This girl should be thanking whatever deity she worships the original poster isn't me. If I saw her shit coming out of her ass I would just go faster and faster and if I saw her start to cry I would pull her fucking hair back and give her a punch to the spine.

You make me sick AllShallPerish, for bieng such a coward.

quote:Originally posted by stephanina:

No, seriously, I actually want to know what you could possibly have been thinking. That it would just slide right in there?

What aspects of anal sex were you discussing with her? Do you know anything about it? What were you thinking???

STFU you broken-assed whiney bitch. Just because you cant do it right doesnt mean every other woman doesnt know what she is doing. Go find a telephone pole and do some kegels or something.

quote:Originally posted by AllShallPerish:

We were on the bed going doggystyle and I decided to..suprise her in her..poop-chute?..So I did......And I scared the shit out of her..She fucking pooped...I felt it on my dick and pulled out really fast..It somewhat got on the bed..She went into the bathroom and started crying, and told me to leave. So after I said my apoligies for (suprising) I went to starbucks and got a venti mocha furrap. damn...

You need to get that girl to appologize to YOU for shitting all over the place...especially all over your little buddy. Dont feel bad at all about it and ignore all the other posters who are crying about the whole thing. Half of them are virgins, the other half have never had sex. And the other half has only had sex with themselves. Or assorted household items or pets.

What you have to do now is find a girl who is more experienced and not some inexperienced sissy who is skeered. That is one more reason high school chicks are useless for sex. As you can tell that chick cant hack it so kick her to the curb and get a new one...you'll be glad you did.

Johnnx has given the only valid peice of advice so far.

Considering you guys lost your virginities together, I think that it is pretty important that you handle this problem itself instead of dumping her. I you guys love eachother and all of that good shit, then you will be able to work past this little mishap and experiment with other forms of sex the right way.

wow, anal is so funny

pz

Let her go at you with strap on.

That's fucking disguisting. She shat on your dick and the bed and YOU apologize. You should have make her eat that shit back up!

Please tell me you forgot to say that the reason she ran away crying was because you wiped off your willy on her uppler lip.

DIRTY SANCHEZ! That was a perfect opportunity.

You should have tried to hold on and let her squirm around and run w/ you still attatched, holy fuck that would be hilarious.

Anyways, I give you two thumbs up. If she breaks up with you, or tries to fuck you over in life anyways whatsoever...

You can at least blackmail her witht he fact that she shit all over the bed and you when you tried to take the dirt road.

ahhaahahahaahahahahahahahaha woman are to over sensative!

quote:Originally posted by pyro9555:

ahhaahahahaahahahahahahahaha woman are to over sensative!

Hahahaha, you're so right! I wouldn't be the least upset if someone tried to do me from beind without asking...Sarcasm

Yep... he should have used lube and told her to take a crap beforehand, the key to anal is the woman being relaxed and lubricated.

^^^^^^^^^

And to not have her shit all over the place.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

quote:Originally posted by yourlokalcommie:

Hahahaha, you're so right! I wouldn't be the least upset if someone tried to do me from beind without asking...

c'mere little fella...bend over and smile...Ive got a big surprise for you. No sarcasm.

quote:Originally posted by yourlokalcommie:

That's fucking disguisting. She shat on your dick and the bed and YOU apologize. You should have make her eat that shit back up!



shat?

quote:Originally posted by asianhippie2003:



shat? (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shat&r=f)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

[B]You should go talk to that ToyBoy fellow.

That was a serious violation of her body.

Kobe got his wife a diamond ring for raping someone else, what you got?

not this crap again. he didnt rape nobody. she went into the hotel room of a married celebrity and she didnt plan on fuckn? besides that bitch is dirty. when did she go to the hospital after the supposed "rape"? Three fucking days! and the broad was still whering the same panties from the "rape" fuckn had nut and crotch hair on it.if that shit aint groedy i dont no what is.

at least kobe didnt pee on her(r. kelly did) and she didnt shit all over the place..

quote:Originally posted by Auron547:

[QUOTE]Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

[B]You should go talk to that ToyBoy fellow.

That was a serious violation of her body.

Kobe got his wife a diamond ring for raping someone else, what you got?

not this crap again. he didnt rape nobody. she went into the hotel room of a married celebrity and she didnt plan on fuckn? besides that bitch is dirty. when did she go to the hospital after the supposed "rape"? Three fucking days! and the broad was still whering the same panties from the "rape" fuckn had nut and crotch hair on it.if that shit aint groedy i dont no what is.





You are correct about the chick wearing underwear with semen in it...but it wasnt from Kobe. It was from another guy she boinked AFTER she got 'raped.' Lying little crackwhore...I hate chicks like that. She wasnt raped and more.

cobys still a nigger

quote:Originally posted by canibus:

at least kobe didnt pee on her(r. kelly did) and she didnt shit all over the place..

and kobe didnt video tape it and then say the cops rendered the video of it.

Madre mia.

1: The anal/scat story is likely true, very unfortunate, and could have been avoided with a little education in proper sodomy.

2: Kobe is guilty, and the girl he fucked is a useless whore who should be penetrated by a thorny, spikey dildo, like in that one fucked-up anime.

3: I'd vastly enjoy teabagging a few of you.

she left a message on my cellphone..and broke up with me..well.whatever..

quote:Originally posted by Bleedthrough:

Madre mia.

3: I'd vastly enjoy teabagging a few of you.

Does that make you a pitcher...or a catcher?