That's right NIGGAS, today I got maced in the face by a female. I do not know if it was exactly mace, perhaps it was one of those spray things for your mouth, but it hurt like a motherfucker for 5 minutes. She thought it was funny.

tell me Casanova's, how do you talk to a girl without having this happen? What sort of things should I say, things that females like to hear? American girls are generally idiots, I have learned this over time, what should I say to make them feel good? Are there any "party starters" I could feed her to skip all the talking bullshit and get straight to the point?

Thank you.

WE ARE ALL THE SAME!!!!!!!

chicks that smoke: ask them to bum a cig, then say something along the lines of "omg thank you I love you so much hahahahahahah, you wouldnt believe what happened to the pack I had this morning"

then start telling a story. Make it up, who gives a fuck. The goal here is to make them laugh and establish rapport, not passing a polygraph.

chicks that dont are a diff story. That trick above works with just about all female smokers. One I like is to go up to a chick and told her i lost my little brother(had a little pic and everything), i acted all worried and nervous. She offered to help me look for him. Fluff talked her a bit, got her name and number. THen when i was about to leave she asked me what about my brother, i looked her right in the eye smiled and said: "I just needed an excuse to talk to you" and walked away.

If you attract them to point of giving your their number, they are just going to be flattered when you lay that line on them. And if you said the right things while you were "looking", its guarenteed she is just going to get even more attracted to you. I had a girl admit that she started to "drip" when I just smiled, said that, and walked away.



On a side note, wtf did you say to the chick to get her to mace you.

My age group (actually a bit older then me, what can I say I like older women), usually dress like whores but are little stupid virgins...You know, like belly showing miniskirt virgins who just want to hold hands. Or atleast the majority I see. Anyway, I say hey, my name is this, I'm from here, you? Oh really, I was in said area once and this guy jumped me. *lifts shirt and shows scar* (dunno if that works for you, but I have big ass scars out the ass all over my body.

Girl: OH wow your so manly hot!

Me: Word, you know your pretty scrumptious yourself, your eyes make me contemplate my existance

Girl: Yea I am a sexy bitch virgin just waiting to be manhandle, let me touch you inconspiculously (or so she thinks)

Me: Ohh you truely have the womens touch! Let me try and benchpress you *smile*

Girl: Okay

*shes benchpressed and nipples are hard, you set her down and kiss her*...Then keep kissing and like make a mad dash for a bathroom or something. If your out in public hold off on the benchpress until in a private area (preferably alone)

It's all in the eyes. Open them wide and look straight at her.

The advice "Whiteass" gave me is good.

Unfortunately ShqipTAR I am a relatively small boy -around 5'4 130 pounds ;( - and cannot even benchpress one of those 3 pound weights without breaking a sweat.

And to Catharic, I believe that is one of my problems. When I speak to an attractive woman I get so shy that I absolutely cannot make any eye contact at all. I am always looking at the floor etc.

Wear a hockey mask, and carry a chainsaw. Just lurk in the shadows while they go to their cars, and jump out at them. It's an immediate turn on. Seriously, she'll get all wet and start moaning, and then jump you and rape you.

Next time ask for seconds.

quote:Originally posted by VladimirIllyichLenin:

The advice "Whiteass" gave me is good.

Unfortunately ShqipTAR I am a relatively small boy -around 5'4 130 pounds ;( - and cannot even benchpress one of those 3 pound weights without breaking a sweat.

And to Catharic, I believe that is one of my problems. When I speak to an attractive woman I get so shy that I absolutely cannot make any eye contact at all. I am always looking at the floor etc. Blah I'm 5'4 147 pounds, your just weak :P.

quote:Originally posted by ShqipTAR:

Originally posted by VladimirIllyichLenin:

The advice "Whiteass" gave me is good.

Unfortunately ShqipTAR I am a relatively small boy -around 5'4 130 pounds ;( - and cannot even benchpress one of those 3 pound weights without breaking a sweat.

And to Catharic, I believe that is one of my problems. When I speak to an attractive woman I get so shy that I absolutely cannot make any eye contact at all. I am always looking at the floor etc. Blah I'm 5'4 147 pounds, your just weak :P.



HA! You're both midgets - I'm 5'8. That's cute. You should gather more 5'4 people and dress up in munchkin outfits . You'll be rakin' in the women, trust me.

I have nothing more to add.

Disclaimer: I'm just fucking around so don't bother flaming me.

Damn, the topic of this thread is hilarious.

I like stores, mainly the music or movies sections. Find a girl looking around, and walk up next to her and point at something shes looking at and say "I like <insert band or movie here>." Hopefully, she will say something along the lines of "I like <other band or movie>." Then either keep going with different bands/movies for a bit until you can move onto the fluff talk, or go off on something completely different. Make it stupid, but make sure she knows you know its stupid. ("I like rice, or soemthing like that")

I've found the hardest part about meeting girls is the opening. If you can manage to get past that without coming off as a complete ass, idiot, whatever you're golden.

quote:When I speak to an attractive woman I get so shy that I absolutely cannot make any eye contact at all.

Just talk to her like any other person. Find something you are confident about and think about it or use it while you're talking to her.

Nokio

P.S. Woo you people make me feel tall! Now if I could just get that extra inch to an even 6 ft...

quote:Originally posted by VladimirIllyichLenin:

The mace only makes me hornier.

www.Tshirthell.com (http://www.Tshirthell.com)

Shut the fuck up retard.

quote:Originally posted by VladimirIllyichLenin:

...When I speak to an attractive woman I get so shy that I absolutely cannot make any eye contact at all. I am always looking at the floor etc.

Well then how the hell did she mace you? And btw, if that was real mace you would know. Try a burning so intense that you can't open your eyes, lasting 30-45 minutes.

quote:Originally posted by soul_assassin_girl:

HA! You're both midgets - I'm 5'8. That's cute...

Not posting our weight are we ?

I dunno. For some reason I always want to know how much a girl weighs. Maybe it's because a girl would rather talk about the car crash that killed her entire family than mention how much she weighs. Fun stuff .

^^^haha noooo, and I'm being serious here - I don't actually own scales

It's not because my family's freakishly poor or anything, it's more a case of:

My mum's a freak who doesn't want a pair in the house because she assumes that because I'm a girl, I'll start weighing myself every day and obsess about my weight which could eventuate in Anorexia or Bulimia and that's no good and WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

(I'm not in any way exagerating).

So yeah - the last time I got weighed was when I had to go to the doctors for a check up, to see if I was healthy enough to go on the pill. It said 56kg which is about 110-112lbs.

I'm embarassed now cause I don't have scales

[This message has been edited by soul_assassin_girl (edited 07-07-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by soul_assassin_girl:

...110-112lbs...

Dang, girl. You need to gain some weight. Looks like a strong wind could blow you over . But serionsly, that's a bit on the skinny side. Does it run in the family?

Um I wouldn't say it runs in the family. Like I said that's probably not accurate cause my insane family DOESN'T HAVE SCALES!!!

quote:Originally posted by soul_assassin_girl:

Um I wouldn't say it runs in the family. Like I said that's probably not accurate cause my insane family DOESN'T HAVE SCALES!!!

Yeah, that's a bit weird...

What was this thread about again? Oh yeah, nothing.

...I'm going to bed.

quote:Originally posted by soul_assassin_girl:

HA! You're both midgets - I'm 5'8. That's cute. You should gather more 5'4 people and dress up in munchkin outfits . You'll be rakin' in the women, trust me.

I have nothing more to add.

Disclaimer: I'm just fucking around so don't bother flaming me. Don't you your nipples get hard when a short Albanian bench presses you?

quote:Originally posted by ShqipTAR:

Don't you your nipples get hard when a short Albanian bench presses you?



Haha I can't say I've ever had that experience sorry! I've got a really wierd visual in my head right now ...

quote:if that was real mace you would know. Try a burning so intense that you can't open your eyes, lasting 30-45 minutes.

Yea, real mace isn't fun to play with.

Not that I'd know from experience or anything...



.../dry cough.



Nokio

quote:Originally posted by soul_assassin_girl:

Haha I can't say I've ever had that experience sorry! I've got a really wierd visual in my head right now ... You get wet just thinking about the possibilities! I get hard just thinking about how I need to learn how the fuck to spell..

quote:Originally posted by soul_assassin_girl:

HA! You're both midgets - I'm 5'8. That's cute. You should gather more 5'4 people and dress up in munchkin outfits . You'll be rakin' in the women, trust me.

I have nothing more to add.

Disclaimer: I'm just fucking around so don't bother flaming me.



Your a midget also. Im Five foot eleven inches.

On topic though. What did you say for her to mace you?

What the fuck did you say!??!?!?!!