 Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?
Remember how she said that we would meet again, some sunny day..
Vera! Vera! What has become of you?
Does anybody else in here
feel the way I do?
This thread is dedicated to romances, sweethearts, summer loves, or even just a friend, from your past who you somehow lost touch with or had to leave behind, and miss. You know: The great guy/girl you met on vacation, but had to leave, and never got the number of, or the high school sweetheart who moved away? Tell us your story!
As for mine..Her name was Cerelia.
I was taking what you might call an extended vacation in Sicily about 5-6 years ago; I was basically living there, in Cefalu, but I wasn't there but a few months. It was a well-deserved vacation from the ordinary, from the boring shitstorm that American life was becoming. Those days in Sicily were some of my best; Though I did plenty of touring (No way was I going to miss Messina or Palermo, and I wanted to see as much of Sicily as possible), I spent most of them just taking long walks around the countryside, beaches, streets; there was beauty everywhere in Sicily. Even the air seemed to purify the soul a little more with each deep breath. I did of course mingle as well as possible, and in the process, I of course learned some Italian, and got better and better at conversing, and translating my mannerisms to the new language. I made friends, went out on those hot summer nights for drinks, walked around just enjoying the female scenery and chatting about American life vs. Sicilian life, school, women, society, you name it, with the male friends I'd made; I sampled the excellent food, always going to the smaller cucinas, as opposed to the big places, chat with people over the customary espresso, you name it. They were great days; I had no obligations, I had a good deal of saved money to spend, I had nothing to do but enjoy the heart of Italy in any way I chose. This is why I'm so fond of all things Italian; not just the beautiful women, or Kelly's influence (she was 100% Sicilian).
It was during my last week in Sicily that I met Cerelia. I was sitting outside one of the smaller cucinas of Agrigento, in the West, having my dessert of arancie al vino, or oranges with wine sauce, before I'd even ordered dinner (I found that in Sicily, eating dessert first and working your way back was common, and even encouraged), and mesmerized by the sunset: It wasn't even a truly spectacular, colorful, cloud-filled sunset; it was just the golden/orange orb of the sun, which appeared inordinately large, throwing off the same golden/orange glow into a cloudless sky. I must have somehow worked myself into a little trance, as I never even acknowledged the sound of the dainty little footfalls of the woman approaching me made on the wooden veranda; I took no notice of anything but the tranquility of the moment, until I was snapped out of it and startled by the chair acrost from me being slid out of it's place. My head snapped in that direction, startled a bit, eyes widened, only to behold a very beautiful young woman in a dress that, though I could tell was meant to be more practical than dressy, looked simply divine on her. She had the beautiful, rich brown hair and the soulful yet tough, equally-rich brown eyes that I had really come to appreciate; something that still stands to this day, as many of you know. She was very petite; about 5'0" on the dot, which placed me a foot and two inches taller than her. She had a sort of serenity about her that reminded me of Kelly (who had stayed behind for the vacation to visit her parents while I was gone), though she somehow simultaneously carried a light-hearted air about her; she was attractive to me because, aside from lovely physical features, she struck me as an introspective woman who was at peace with herself, and yet, capable of having fun and not being too serious or heavy. This was before she even said a word to me. In retrospect, she was worth missing the sunset for, and perhaps even more entrancing at that moment. I still have that memory burned vividly into my memories, and I hope it never leaves.
After taking her seat, she sat down, and then turned her head a bit and looked at the sunset, just as I was. I was just a little unsure of what to say. But then, she spoke to me, in the colloquial dialect which I had also come to appreciate, and by this time, be fairly proficient with.
"It's beautiful, isn't it? It's so easy to get lost in it.", she said, while still looking at the sunset. Her voice was beautiful. Angelic. and yet, still Earthly and "normal".
"Yes.." was all I could say.
"You looked lost in it! You still sound lost in it!" she said with a little chuckle. Truth to tell, I was lost in her. "I couldn't help but come over. You don't look like you're from here, but you have the Sicilian soul, I can tell."
"I'm not from here..But it feels more like home to me than America ever has."
"American?! You look like a Spaniard."
"You might say I am..But I was born and raised in America. New Mexico."
"Ohh, New Mexico! I've studied all the states; yours is the only one with any culture."
"It's like another country to me, sometimes. But I'm coming to love Sicily even more..I only have another week here, before I go back. I've been here for a little over 3 months."
"I want to see the world, New Mexico too, but I could never leave Sicily. By the way, my name is Cerelia..Cerelia Lucia." Note that that was her first and middle name; she was given a first/middle/last name like an American. Her last name I didn't learn until later. Also, she said her friends called her Paola ("little", roughly, also a name), due to her size.
"I'm Thomas O-----[my first/middle]..But most call me Tom, or Tommy..even Tomaso, within the family."
We finished our salutare there, and kept talking, about...everything. I answered her questions about me and where I lived, asked questions about her, talked with her about damn near everything, from food to history to photography to pet peeves to music; you name it. I was indeed right about the inherent serenity she carried with her, but as we chatted more, I learned that I was also right about her funner side. She liked to go out and get drunk and have fun as much as anyone, she liked to dance, she was a wiseass, even, at times; you name it. We liked each other from the start. We had spent about 3 hours and 20 minutes or so there at that table, the sunset long having given way to night, my arancie al vino long forgotten, and the dinner we had long cleared from the table (it was only proper to offer her dinner). We eventually had to say our bella seras and go, but I gave her the relevant contact info of mine, she gave me hers, and I told her I definitely wanted to see more of her.
My last week in Sicily was spent mostly with Cerelia. We did plenty; dinners, dancing, drinks, long walks together, drives out into the country, discussion, everything, all while bonding on more and more of a level. She lived in Agrigento, so I had to go back and get my things from Cefalu and re-base there, but that was my choice; she even offered to come stay in Cefalu for awhile, but I wouldn't dare make her do that.
She had a few quirks, heheh; she was clumsy, for one. She'd stumble a little, bump her elbows on things, you name it. She was graceful, yes, but..clumsily graceful. It was actually very charming. She also was very interested in names and their meanings; I listened to her give me a rundown of what my name meant and why she felt it was significant. It was nice, actually. She was very smart, indeed, and very headstrong, but she was, in true Italian fashion, a bit stubborn as well, and she was very, very impulsive; some would call it immature, but to me, it was just youth and lust for life. We had truly great times together. And it's funny; I know it sounds like a building romance, but what it felt like to me was a building friendship. I was with Kelly at the time, so I was devoted to her, but as it turned out, that devotion was never tested or strained: Cerelia and I became close friends, not lovers. It's hard to explain it, as it borders on the intangible, but that route just kind of felt natural for both of us, I think, even though we never stated that. We never had sex or fooled around or even brought romance into the picture.
When it came time for me to go, I was down as hell, and so was she, of course: I met her for our last time at that same cafe again, where we had a meal together, and talked one more time. She was on the verge of crying throughout it all; I was, as well. We made sure to give each other our contact info; addresses, numbers, etc, and she told me she wanted to come visit me in America someday (might have been hard with Kelly in the picture; even though I was with her, and I stayed faithful to her, and Cerelia and I were friends, you know that women never seem to quite fully be alright with that; sorry, but it's true). I told her I wanted to come back here, too; that her and Sicily felt like home to me. This made her weep a little.
The time came for me to go; I had to drive from Agrigento to Palermo, to the airport, and head back home. Her and I hugged each other, for a very long time; it felt like an eternity, and it still does today. She was crying a little throughout it all; I wanted to, but I for some reason felt the need to hold back and be resolute for her sake. This could be construed as uncaring of me, but she knew better; I'm sure that, with her ears as close to my heart as they were, she could hear it breaking anyway.
We eventually separated, and we kissed each other on each cheek, which is customary in Italy, between close friends, or family. She composed herself, and she told me that she wouldn't forget me, and that she had a wonderful time with me; pleasantry-sounding, I know, but it was meaningful. I said to her that I loved Sicily as it was, but that she's what made it all worth it; what made it feel like home. She gave me a single picture, which is one of her and I, slightly drunk, looking perfectly content together {we had asked a very old woman to take a quick picture of us one evening, so we'd have something tangible to sum up all the good times. It indeed did. Cerelia kept the other copy of it). Then, she said to me..
"I met you when the sun was setting..It's not, right now, but it is, inside right now..I just wish you could stay.."
I told her, "You know that it always rises again". Cold comfort, perhaps, but she seemed a little more tranquil after hearing that.
"I know..", she says sadly.
Eventually, I get to my car, I'm ready to go. And sad as hell. But her and I were both at peace again, somehow.
"Don't worry, Cerelia. We'll see each other again."
Sparing more dialogue...I eventually pulled away, my last glimpse of her being through my rear-view mirror, as she waved; she looked as serene as she did when I first saw her. I knew she would be ok.
I got back to America, and her and I did maintain phone contact, and letter contact, but the calls and letters got more and more infrequent...Cerelia told me in the last letter I received from her that she was going to study abroad, soon. I ended up moving to a different house, and life became very difficult for me for unrelated reasons, so I wasn't able to contact her for awhile. I managed to call again, finally, only for an unfamiliar person to answer, and tell me that I had the "wrong number" when I asked for Cerelia..She had moved away, and I don't know where to.
That was the end. Now, after everything that's happened since, she represents the purest feeling I've ever shared with somebody in retrospect; her and I were truly happy with each other, and we didn't desecrate the experience with sex or romance. When I think about her, I feel sad because we lost contact; right now, after losing Kelly, the purity of my friendship with Cerelia is what I need. I also, however, feel...happy. Looking back, I never felt quite the same even with Kelly.
Cerelia's middle name was "Lucia"..This basically meant "Light". She is light, in my life. Looking back now, she might have been the very brightest. We spent only a week together, but even in that time, we became close like family. I'll never forget her.
Cerelia, if by SOME chance you've read this...I miss you. I'd give anything to see you again.
Looking back, I think that it's because Cerelia and I were such close friends that she's the only woman I've ever really loved so profoundly..It was the love of two friends. Romances can be beautiful, but they aren't meant to last, and they never do. Friendships and familial bonds, however, do.
If I've ever had a soul mate, it was Cerelia.
-Infrared
(Thanks for reading..Fucking shut up about the length; I'm a man with a lot to say. Fucking whiners.)
[This message has been edited by Bleedthrough (edited 07-05-2004).]
|
2004-07-05, 00:47
