OK. I don't really know why I get into a mood like I'm in now. I don't really know how to describe it. I take offence to things people say really easily. And then when I retaliate I regret it. Very much so. I feel really really depressed to the point where I contemplate suicide. I don't like it when I'm in these moods cause I'm always doing things I regret. I only started having them since I moved to my dads house. That really took me by surprise. Cause not only did I move, I left school and started working. I moved into a whole new environment. It was like the exact opposite to the situation I was living in. Now I live with my dad, his stupid wife and her daughter and son. I really really hate her and her family. She is such a slut. And I mean that quite literally. She has 4 kids to 3 different guys. And my dad is the first guy that she's been married to. Things should become better once my new room is complete. I am so sick of sharing a room. The move was also really hard because I left all of my friends behind. I don't know anyone in Sydney and cause I don't go to school I don't really have the chance to meet new friends. I go to TAFE but all the guys in my class aren't really the type of people I would like to hang around. And I am the youngest in the class which doesn't help the fact that I'm a very shy person. And that realy pisses me off. I hate being the shy and quiet type. I have been trying to speak out more but I usually just say something stupid. I'm also angry at my older brother. He really pisses me off. He is always making promises to me but never comes through with them. He is very self centered as well. I really hate that. I think now I'm in a more mellow mood. I also want to talk about some of the girls I knew back home but I don't really know how to start so I'll just dive in. The girls I was friends with at my mums place were really cool. I would get along with nearly all of them. But I was just that sort of guy that was friends with the girls but never went out with them. But that isn't to say I never had a girlfriend. Just never with the girl I really wanted. She would flirt with me when she had a boyfriend and nearly ignore me when she was single. I never really could figure her out. But she lives in Queensland now so I should just get over her. Although I am hoping she eventually moves closer. She moves around a bit, and that's cause her dad works with some coal mining company. So they probablt have to go where the coal takes them. Then theres the girl that lives in Newcastle (2hours from me). She was a friend of a friend. I've only ever talked to her on the internet or by SMS but she says she really likes me. That seems weird to me though cause she's 18 and im like a little over a year younger. If I was her I would just write me off as another horny teenager trying to get her to fuck them. I really don't understand why she would be at all interested in me. She says that one day she will meet me, that she 'knows it in her heart'. What she doesn't realise is that the only reason I would want to meet her would be for a root. But that doesn't mean I don't like her. I like talking to her, she is very sweet and innocent. I hope one day I meet someone like her. well I've had enough of my ranting so I'll stop now. There wasn't really a question or anything here I just wanted to tell all of you guys.

This post, much like yours, doesn't have any strong point. I just thought you might like to know that someone read the whole thing. I did.

ya, i read the whole thing too, and letting shit out, telling it to the world, it helps sometimes(till the wrong people read it and well...ya, totally beside the point)...

Thats a big paragraph.

About the taking offense to things and then regretting it, I used to have a temper problem,talked to a psychiatrist once and it was fixed.

Miracle worker.

All he did was ask me about things that seemed to me to have nothing to do with anger. Then he showed me pictures of things, like claws, trains, boats, and stuff to see which vocabulary I used to name them. That was it I haven't had a problem since.

He must have brainwashed me.

Snow

elf, learn to break your thought processes into segments. Make those segments paragraphs. It's difficult to read one long grab bag of words. Having said that...

Going through so many changes all at once is hard on anyone.

1) Changing from school to work

2) Leaving friends behind

3) Moving into an undesirable situation

Shit adds up. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, don't forget that. I can't tell you how many times I've wished I were dead, only to come around (mentally) later and realize life ain't so bad. If life was like that movie "Pleasantville" things would make suicide more contemplatable. That's why we have good times and bad times. If not for the bad times we'd have no basis of measurement to know we were IN good times.

Try to remember that you're going to experience a lot of happiness and sadness in life and persevere, that's what makes you who you are. Look at your life, then look at someone who really has problems. Your life won't look so pitiful.

Your stepmother may be a slut and her kids a bunch of shits but that's who you're stuck with so you don't have much choice but to make the best of it until you can move into your own place. It will pass soon enough and you can look back on it as a learning experience. Not to sound cliche, but life does move on.

You seem like a pretty likable dude (In Australian I guess that would be bloke), from reading your posts here... you'll do alright with some introspection and patience. Give time a chance.

Being the shy type does suck. Personally, I have great difficulty starting conversations with people I don't know all that well, and when I do have conversations with them, I find it hard to think of things to say on the fly.

Anyways, good luck to you.

Elf, please put that into separate paragraphs, PLEASE.

~~~

Like this:

quote:Originally posted by elf:



OK. I don't really know why I get into a mood like I'm in now. I don't really know how to describe it. I take offence to things people say really easily. And then when I retaliate I regret it. Very much so. I feel really really depressed to the point where I contemplate suicide. I don't like it when I'm in these moods cause I'm always doing things I regret. I only started having them since I moved to my dads house. That really took me by surprise. Cause not only did I move, I left school and started working. I moved into a whole new environment.

It was like the exact opposite to the situation I was living in. Now I live with my dad, his stupid wife and her daughter and son. I really really hate her and her family. She is such a slut. And I mean that quite literally. She has 4 kids to 3 different guys. And my dad is the first guy that she's been married to. Things should become better once my new room is complete. I am so sick of sharing a room. The move was also really hard because I left all of my friends behind. I don't know anyone in Sydney and cause I don't go to school I don't really have the chance to meet new friends. I go to TAFE but all the guys in my class aren't really the type of people I would like to hang around. And I am the youngest in the class which doesn't help the fact that I'm a very shy person. And that realy pisses me off. I hate being the shy and quiet type. I have been trying to speak out more but I usually just say something stupid. I'm also angry at my older brother.

He really pisses me off. He is always making promises to me but never comes through with them. He is very self centered as well. I really hate that. I think now I'm in a more mellow mood. I also want to talk about some of the girls I knew back home but I don't really know how to start so I'll just dive in. The girls I was friends with at my mums place were really cool. I would get along with nearly all of them. But I was just that sort of guy that was friends with the girls but never went out with them. But that isn't to say I never had a girlfriend. Just never with the girl I really wanted. She would flirt with me when she had a boyfriend and nearly ignore me when she was single. I never really could figure her out. But she lives in Queensland now so I should just get over her.

Although I am hoping she eventually moves closer. She moves around a bit, and that's cause her dad works with some coal mining company. So they probablt have to go where the coal takes them. Then theres the girl that lives in Newcastle (2hours from me). She was a friend of a friend. I've only ever talked to her on the internet or by SMS but she says she really likes me. That seems weird to me though cause she's 18 and im like a little over a year younger. If I was her I would just write me off as another horny teenager trying to get her to fuck them. I really don't understand why she would be at all interested in me. She says that one day she will meet me, that she 'knows it in her heart'.

What she doesn't realise is that the only reason I would want to meet her would be for a root. But that doesn't mean I don't like her. I like talking to her, she is very sweet and innocent. I hope one day I meet someone like her. well I've had enough of my ranting so I'll stop now. There wasn't really a question or anything here I just wanted to tell all of you guys.

Thanks Gus!



And thanks to everyone else who replied, I appreciate it.

Can we perhaps hit enter every once in awhile so as to make that more readable?

Wow, I feel hated... everytime I rant about something no one replies... Which is kinda odd cause usually the rant is about being ignored cause that is one thing that really pisses me off...

quote:Originally posted by NewRage:

Wow, I feel hated... everytime I rant about something no one replies... Which is kinda odd cause usually the rant is about being ignored cause that is one thing that really pisses me off...

Awwww. I don't think I've ever seen one of your rants.

And, Todesgehen, i was already told 3 times about my paragraph and I acknowledged it, so shut the fuck up.