Hey all.

Bit of a bitch...Bit of a moan...bit of a question!

So I was out with my brother, my friend and my girlfriend the other night.

I was sitting there doing one of my sociological evaluations.

My brother is the loud, ugly, easy to get along with guy and gets chicks somehow.

My best friend is good looking (apparently), quiet, sits in the corner, loves his life, doesn't want chicks but gets them anyways.

I wondered where I fit into the scheme of things...So I let my brother in on what I was thinking.

He said I am the funny one.

The fucking funny one?!

It just feels like I'm forever in their shadows...They get the chicks and enjoy themselves while I tell the jokes and pretend like I'm happy.

My girlfriend also has started becoming distant...Before we were together we were always in touch with each other...After we got together it waned away to its current nothingness!

To top it off, she has admitted that my brother would probably be sexier than me if he shaved his beard off...And my best friend is sexy.

Which leaves me in a bind.

Dunno why I sat and decided to share that...Just feels like nobody else will listen.

I'm not too sure. I can only suggest you try talking to your girlfriend about it.

Uh, psych, my friend...In my experience, gradual distancing from each other is just the end, plain and simple. I'm not going to go "dump her now", but as I'm sure you've figured out (I hope so), you might have to prepare for it. Nothing hurts worse than a slow death, you know? But don't let me tell you; you're one who probably has the same shit figured out. All I'm going to suggest that you do is be fuckin' true to yourself - don't lie your way into loving what exists no longer or rationalizing the distancing into something meaningless. From what you let us in on, it doesn't sound like THAT grim of a situation, but it could be, soon. Prepare for the worst, hope for (and try, to a degree, to strive for) the best. Good luck.

quote:Originally posted by Bleedthrough:

Nothing hurts worse than a slow death, you know?.



he's right you know, slow ends suck.

argh, resurfacing memories *goes off to wallow in self pity*

oh & talk to your girl, it may work out.

Poor bloody I know how ignominious receiving such empathy/sympathy can feel, but I can't help it. You sound kind of like me there, is all. Heh, right, Lilly? "Goddamnit, resurfacing memories!"?

No worries though, we'll both make it out however the hell we're gonna make it out. All you can do now is find security in other aspects of life and other non-romance relationships, take a deep breath and walk the fuck on.

Heh, sorry to hijack, Psycho. Didn't mean to. Just the empathy thing of mine again. Where'd you run off to? We know you have no life, considering you post here on Totse, and all.

(Just kidding, man.)

Sexy isnt the same as Attractive.

If you think that your girlfriend is growing distant, chances are she is, and this may indeed be the begining of the end and rather painfull.

I say kill her, ditch the body, and move on. NOW. Before she does likewise, to your heart.

Hehehehe...Good suggestions guys.

Thanks...Today has been good...Had people telling me I am the better guy, I am the more attractive one, the one who holds the other two together...And my good ol' TOTSE friends giving me some golden advice.

Thanks a lot.

Keep the opinions coming though...I'd like to hear some more feedback.

I just thought I'd point out you're lucky you got some of the good ones who don't laugh in your face and stuff. Seriously though try not to fret too much, as long as you are comfortable being who you are you should be alright.. there's always more fish in the sea.

doesnt sound like your funny, sounds like your fucking weak.

you wanted pity, just admit it.

who cares where you fit in?

who cares if you dont get as many girls?

who cares?

this is life, its a zero sum game. either work on your game or stop crying in your beer and find another hobby.

seems to me women are too much a focus of your existance.

drop the girlfriend. shell prolly end up fucking one of your pals, but hey, atleast you dumped her.

get over it man. there are no answers.

nihilism... living up to your name i see

really tho to the guy who posted...just go listen to some music or something. always helps. Tool.

I've been in similar situations. It sucks, I know, but you have to just stop all of your negative thinking and start concentrating on the poisitive aspects of your personality/looks. Think positive, man.

Yeah it sounds like your relationship with your GF is heading towards the final chapter. No reason to drag it out or be bitter, shit happens. Give her an out or take it yourself and move on.

As for the competition you're feeling with your brother and friend, being ugly doesn't seem to matter and being aloof only increases their interest. As for being the "funny one", maybe it comes off as trying too hard in the 'girls' eyes. If that's the case, it smacks of desperation, not a good thing.

Just my observation from what you've posted.

I think Pea is right about thinking positive.

Positive thinking can give you confidence, which in itself is also a positive thing and people definately notice confidence.

Nokio

I don't know if you are the funny one for real or not, but if you are, that could be your problem.

Humor is like spice. You need it, but it should only complement everything else. Timing is key with it. Sometimes you surprise her with it, sometimes you use it to make her feel better, sometimes you use it to bleed off a tense moment, but sometimes you leave her hanging in those situations. If you rely on humor too much, you seem fun, but also predictable and shallow. There is less mystery which is key to the stamina of any seduction.



[This message has been edited by Easy Going (edited 07-04-2004).]