well to start it off, i hooked up with my ex, the one who was the love of my life. the one who betrayed me and i can't trust.

after that, i needed a break, so a friend and i drove to beach wek at ocean city maryland, and despite my best efforts, in the 2 days i was there, i didnt get laid.

so i came home with my tail between my legs and hooked up with m ex again. this started to bring back those old feelings for both of us and i was left with a difficult choice. do i stay lonely and sad all summer, or do i get back with the ex, for the summer, and be happy. this seems like a simple choice, but there was the risk of me being crushed when we both go back to school and she hooks up with other guys.

if this dillema wasn't enough, when i was discussing it with a mutual friend, her best friend and one of my best friends, after i had told her of the whole situation, explained my two choices and told her how i was leaning, she drops a bomb on me. her best friend has feelings for me. ooo snap. she tells me do what would make me happy, and not consider the feelings of the others involved, make the choice for me.

well now, im between a rock and a hard place. im already semi-involved with the ex. i love the best friend to death, except for a few things... and they're best friends.

the few things i don't love: she has this flashing neon virgin sign hovering above her head. this doesn't bother me so much, except that i like her too much to be the one to get rid of it, had i the oppurtunity. and , had something not worked between us, i really don't want to lose her as a friend, i cherish this girl.

ok, so thats my situation, pretty much. what the fuck do i do?

if she was hot I'd just tap that ass all summer long. Then dump her before she has the chance to dump you. But that's just me.

DRINK!!!

quote:

"she has this flashing neon virgin sign hovering above her head. this doesn't bother me so much, except that i like her too much to be the one to get rid of it,"

Uhh? Explain this to me?

I would think if you liked her that much you would want to make sure that her first time was a GOOD experience, and not some sleazy guy just trying to take it from her.

Ok, that being said..

You already stated that you can't trust your ex, so getting with her is already a mistake. Without the trust, the best you can hope for is just a person there for the sole purpose of keeping you from being alone.

The friend is right in that you need to decide for only yourself. If you get with the friend, chances are at some time they will argue about it. If it happens, then it happens, its up to them to decide if its worth losing their friendship over.

As for you, you have to decide whether the risk of losing her as a friend (which is not guaranteed to happen) outweighs the possibility of being happy together.

And lastly, you still could choose neither of them and continue to go out and have fun and possibly meet someone during the summer. Staying lonely and sad all summer isn't definately going to happen unless you don't make the effort to get out there and meet people.

Just my opinion on the situation.

Nokio

Stay away from the ex, that's a simple one right there. It might seem like it'll make the summer good, but satisfying shorterm problems only to create later, possibly longer term problems, is the dumbest thing you can do.

Some ideas: 1) Hook up with the best friend, but explain your cautious view towards it without sounding like a pussy about it.

2) Go out and meet some new people, perhaps find a love interest there. You'll only be lonely if you let yourself be so.

3) (This is personally what I would do had I not already done it) Spend your summer working on yourself. I don't mean "self improvement", but do some self-exploration. Get to know yourself, learn to enjoy yourself, and find a way to be happy single. This will prevent you from going back to shitty relationships; you will actually have some self-confidence and respect for yourself and other, along with a better view of what's good for you. Also, when you go into relationships after this, you'll be bringing respect and happiness to the table rather than depression and desparation.

There's reasons you guys broke up. There's reasons you can't trust her. Those are the same reasons why you shouldn't get back with her. Mixing with the exes in any other way that platonically(is the word?) is a bad thing. I've been there.

You shouldn't be with some for the sole purpose of not being single. That'll make you rush things and not think what you really feel for the person.

As for the best friend, talk to her. Of course, don't start off with an obvious sexual attraction, be friends. If you think you two could have a future together or she's right for you, then spend time with her. If you're worried about losing her, just go slow.. wait before that first kiss.

And if you fuck up with the ex just be prepared to take all the baggage that goes with it.

You're smart, you'll be fine.

Do you go to the same college as the friend? Would it be easy for you both to maintain a relationship? If you don't think it's going to work long-term, don't do it. I wouldn't hook up with the ex if I were you, you're just going to get crushed.

i forgot to mention, i do go to the same college as the friend, and she and i are already very close friends.

further clarification, i would like her first time to be a good experience, but i've been around a little, and she hasn't. i would feel really bad about corrupting such a sweet girl. it just wouldn't be cool.

also, i say "getting back with" the ex. it may have been misinterpreted. i mean, booty calls and the occasional hanging out and somewhat "semi-dating". this makes me pretty happy usually.

my thinking now is that i can mess around with the ex for the summer, try not to get attached, and then when i go to school, pursue something with the best friend. does that seem like sound logic to anyone? thats the plan of action im leaning toward.

That's kinda iffy.

What if, when summer's over, the friend thinks you're just trying to get with her because your ex is gone?