ok well ive been going out with this girl and i dont know what i should do now (no i didnt get her pregnant) well let me fill you in:

we've been goin out for 9 months. since then she's all of a sudden cutting herself (not for 9 months tho) and she promised me she wouldnt do it again. she broke that promise that she wouldnt do it again and then i made her promise again. and also for 5 years ive known her, ive heard shit about her flashing guys, giving head, and making out on tables and shit, and i asked her y (cuz it was just a one time thing with those guys...i think) and she gave me this bullshit excuse about her having low self-esteem and everything. oh and shes NEVER done any of those things with me! and like, her lame excuses are either"im not in the mood"(even tho she tells me shes always in the mood),or that she doesnt want to get in trouble(becuz her parents are freekin psychos, and wont let us go to the movies alone and she's hardly even allowed to go to my freekin house just to hang out)but ukno, she found ways of doing those things with other guys, y not me? its just so freekin messed up. oh and also she now has a shrink becuz she flashed this guy that lives on her street. and whenever i bring anything like this up i have to hear "y does that matter?" and "that was then this is now" sorta shit. and i dont even wanna kno what she does at here little trailer north where she goes with her family and she wanders around the grounds doing who knows what. well.... i dont know what to do...she needs help..and alot of it...and all my friends agree that if i break up with her she will kill herself. someone help me! cuz this is fucked up!

quote:Originally posted by *--Voodoo Child--*:

ok well ive been going out with this girl and i dont know what i should do now (no i didnt get her pregnant) well let me fill you in:

we've been goin out for 9 months. since then she's all of a sudden cutting herself (not for 9 months tho) and she promised me she wouldnt do it again. she broke that promise that she wouldnt do it again and then i made her promise again. and also for 5 years ive known her, ive heard shit about her flashing guys, giving head, and making out on tables and shit, and i asked her y (cuz it was just a one time thing with those guys...i think) and she gave me this bullshit excuse about her having low self-esteem and everything. oh and shes NEVER done any of those things with me! and like, her lame excuses are either"im not in the mood"(even tho she tells me shes always in the mood),or that she doesnt want to get in trouble(becuz her parents are freekin psychos, and wont let us go to the movies alone and she's hardly even allowed to go to my freekin house just to hang out)but ukno, she found ways of doing those things with other guys, y not me? its just so freekin messed up. oh and also she now has a shrink becuz she flashed this guy that lives on her street. and whenever i bring anything like this up i have to hear "y does that matter?" and "that was then this is now" sorta shit. and i dont even wanna kno what she does at here little trailer north where she goes with her family and she wanders around the grounds doing who knows what. well.... i dont know what to do...she needs help..and alot of it...and all my friends agree that if i break up with her she will kill herself. someone help me! cuz this is fucked up!

you spelled because* wrong.

dump the bitch.

9 months and you're not getting any? Fuck that, dude. Tell her she's putting you through too much shit that you don't want to deal with. From what you're telling me about her flashing random guys, the whole cutting thing is probably for attention. She seems like a little more trouble than she's worth mate.

The rules of saving a drowning person apply here: Be sure to save yourself first, then see what you can do to save the other person. Otherwise, you both go down.

Perhaps a long-term marriage is worth saving if one spouse suddenly wigs out in the above manner (maybe!) but you're better off letting this go. It's not your problem if someone else commits suicide or threatens to.

Nothing you do or say will make things any better here.

Maybe her "bullshit excuse" for making out with random guys and flashing them (low self-esteem) was bullshit then, but it sure as hell won't be now. She probably feels really shitty about herself. Making someone promise not to cut themselves is compeletely ineffective, and really, I have no solution for your problem. People who cut will realize how silly it is later. You can't blame her, though. And I feel bad about saying this, but I must echo Exies: You've been going out for nine months and you're not getting any? Jesus christ!

I think that you maybe should not bring up her past with her. When I get with a girl I find out what she has done and then leave it as that. I don't try to get to that level. I let it go where she wants to go. Just because someone did someting before does not mean they will again. When I do something that I don't want to do and then latter I even think about it the though just makes me feel bad because I have let myself down. So maybe that is what here.

So my advise is to keep trying but don't bring up her past. If she needs help get her help. Make sure she knows that you are always there for her and she can call you at anytime. Make her feel special.

Just an idea.

Pressure her into sex.

quote:Originally posted by nojnilam:

I think that you maybe should not bring up her past with her. When I get with a girl I find out what she has done and then leave it as that. I don't try to get to that level. I let it go where she wants to go. Just because someone did someting before does not mean they will again. When I do something that I don't want to do and then latter I even think about it the though just makes me feel bad because I have let myself down. So maybe that is what here.

So my advise is to keep trying but don't bring up her past. If she needs help get her help. Make sure she knows that you are always there for her and she can call you at anytime. Make her feel special.

Just an idea.

i dont bring up her past on purpose. sumtimes something i say will remind her of sumthin she did. and ive tried everything to get her help but u kno it just isnt really working. well, so far i like your advice the best...thanks!

quote:Originally posted by Exies19:

... the whole cutting thing is probably for attention. .

alot of people have sed that to me but i dont think thats the problem. i mean, i call her almost everyday when i can and i listen to what she has to say, so how can she even think that i am physically and mentally able to give her more attention

quote:Originally posted by stephanina:

[B]Maybe her "bullshit excuse" for making out with random guys and flashing them (low self-esteem) was bullshit then, but it sure as hell won't be now. She probably feels really shitty about herself. ..B]

umm..im sorry... but i really dont understand y her excuse is valid then and not now...i mean i kno she's got low self esteem but is that an excuse to be all sluty and stuff? i dont kno.....

quote:Originally posted by Little Pea:

Pressure her into sex.

actually i probly would have to pressure her into that...but i would NEVER bang her....if her parents found out...**shiver** that wouldnt be good at all

she's definitely using you. i don't know what she's using you for, but if you havent gotten any in 9 months shez not attracted.

Cutters are, in my opinion, the lowest form of human being possible. Drop her, fast. Seriously, do you not see anything wrong with driving a sharpened piece of metal into your arm, and saying its not for attention. She may have had a terrible childhood, and if she didnt then she is completely fake and is trying to buy into the whole "im depressed, care for me" bullshit. Force feed her some zoloft. Everyone goes through shit, thats not reason the cut yourself, and I find it extremely funny when they cut themselves in the most visible parts of the body. If you can see her cuts without having her take her clothes off, its all about attention. Call her bullshit and tell her you cant be with a cutter. I have absolutely 0 respect for cutters. If they think life is so bad, they should kill themselves and save the world a lot of fucking time and money.

It sux when other guys tell you this but you have to get some off her.

Invite her over make out for a good while, rub her etc., and be nice!! for gods sake be nice!! Then try slide the hand downstairs. If access is denied just say "whats wrong?" she might give you some bullshit answer about not in the mood so you reply "well we have been togethere for a while now, and its been really fun, i think its time we moved forward" "I really like/love you" (depending how you feel or if your a liar) then try again, hopefully acess granted..........some shit like that should work, just try.

Next time she cuts, punch her. Hard. In the tit. And tell her if she does it again you'll call 911. And then call a therapist or something. Get her into some help, after you've let her know that it upsets you that she self-mutilates. Sometimes it takes knowing that one's hurting someone else for one to stop. It works with bulemics as well. Gets your message across, makes her regret it, and gets her in therapy to help her stop. Her knowing it bothers you is some incentive to actually do the therapy properly.

If none of that works, the next time she starts cutting, replace her razor (or whatever weapon of choice) with a dull one that has been dipped in lye. That'll learn her.