Gentelmen, what is the worst oral sex that you have ever received?

The "Girls/Women Actually Like Oral Sex" thread reminded me how horrible it was receiving oral sex from my ex. Granted, she had only given head once before me, but she had 0 eagerness to give it a try even though I had been going down on her all the time.

First, there was the teeth. Felt like she thought that my dick was a popcicle and she was trying to scrap away at it. There was just about no movement, just her with her mouth around the end of my knob with her neck at an obviously uncomfortable angle. Terrible...

Next, there is the hand. She obviously didn't know what the hell she was doing, despite being experienced in this area. I was baffled at how she could have gotten other guys on with this method. She put my dick in a lubeless death grip and proceeded to attempt to rip my dick off.

Through all of this she was just about completely non-responsive to direction or advice. She improved a little over time, but there were "other" problems in the relationship which led me to drop her like a bad habit.

That's mine, what's yours?

Never gotten or given bad head.

only got head from one girl. doesnt seem like she likes to do it. So Im not sure if it was good or bad..

When you're pissed everything feels damn good

My ex was the worst head i hav ever recieved!!! she would get me really horny with all this dirty talk and tellin me wot she wanted to do and then wen she started suckin me off i hardly even knew she was ther! took ages and ages and in the end i just said 'lets fuck' instead of hav shit BJ

First time I got head from my ex, she used her teeth the entire time, and she barely had my dick in her mouth, so I would try to hump her mouth to get it in more, but that only made the teeth scrape harder. Damn that hurt.

girls who take the word 'blow job' too literaly! does happen...trust me on this.

I havnt gottena ny i dont think i will get any... :-/

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

girls who take the word 'blow job' too literaly! does happen...trust me on this.



HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One girl i hooked up with once (and once was enough after the head tragedy) as horrible.

First, she just kept hitting me in the nuts, kinda like slapping it hard and giggling (not laughing, giggling, it was fucking mind numbing) like a 12 year old school girl would act.

Then came the head. First she couldnt take the whole thing, which alot of girls dont know how to. Then she paid no attention to my nuts. Id rather have a hand on my shaft, and a hand playing with my balls. Next, she would go real fast bobbing up and down, then stop at the time and bit my tip. Not a playfull bite, like a hard bite. I was hunching forward because it hurt, like how guys act if they see someone get kicked in the nuts. After a few minutes of that, i couldnt take it anymore. I had bruises all over the head of my dick for at least 3-4 days. Girls thought it was some kind of fucking disease.

When they're unappreciative after you blow your loud in their mouths...

I was watching Secretary with this girl. We fooled around, she started going down. She took the cock in her mouth, and I didn't feel anything for a while, like she was not sucking, just had her head in one frozen spot, cock on lips. Then she started sucking, which was bad. She didn't move. I moved her head up and down, and asked her "suck it harder." Then the magic happened...for a minute, it was good. Then it went back to shitty. Took me forever to cum, I had to squeeze her breasts and think of Maggie Gyllenhall to shoot. And she didn't swallow, she just half-assedly jerked it, until I came on her coffee table.

I got head once. But I was 14 then. I'm 16 now, and trying to get a girlfriend.

Meh. Head is head. No biggy to me. My g/f can get me off one way or another, and I get more enjoyment out of getting her off 6+ times anyways.

But as for my current g/f of 7 months, yeah. I can't really feel her doing it. Sometimes she gets damn close to doing it great, and then it vanishes as quickly as it came. So I don't know. I give her chances to practice and find what works, but she gets all caught up in her self pity about it. So I just told her until she stops being a pussy about sucking at head, and starts practicing, then it's out of the question.

Here's a bad experience: http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/008589.html

the worst head i ever had was by some guy (i was drunk) and he kept using his teeth and it hurt.

Thanks cindy, I didn't see this one in my rage of posting... (no sarcasm intended, just couldn't think of a better way of putting it (just woke up, im fuckin tired)) So yea, I was chillin on these train tracks, the rail was digging into my back, and when I was done I got up and walked around and felt this piercing pain in my right lower back. But that's really besides the point, I don't know which hurt worse, the teeth or rail. Because the girl, around 14 had no idea what she was doing, and it fucking hurt.

It amazes me how many girls I know that don't swallow. You'd think that since the guy is decent enough to go down on you for 15 minutes that the girl could swallow for a freaking second.