I posted something before, but this is how i feel about gf what should I do...

From my preivous post Im 18 my gf is gonna be 21 in july. We been together for 3 years, we lost our virginity together. But now shes been working alot I dont see her much and I miss her alot. Lately when I go over her house after work or days off shes says to let her rest. she wants to watch tv or relax. I usually have to start the kiss or hug. it seems she really not interested in me but she still tells me she loves me and smiles and everything.

She makes me feel like im a bother to her. I did't talk to her about this but whenever Im with her nowadays I feel very lonely and depressed like she hates me and I feel like shes too good for me. I don't know what to do. I love her alot and it sort of breaks my heart to even imagine us being seperated. but at the same time i feel sad and depressed like she hates me. is there something wrong with me? what should i do?...

When ever i talk to her the way we talk or the way she replies makes me sad but she still says she loves me.. I don't know whats wrong..

[This message has been edited by devlant (edited 06-23-2004).]

fuck you

LOL?

Steel yourself, take a deep breath, call her, tell her it's over, that you get the hint.

It will hurt you, I won't lie, and her too, most likely: You might both be in the stage where you can tell yourself you're meant for each other, and rationalize away all the bad signs. The woman always seems to finally figure out that she doesn't love you first; change this. You might love her for who she was, but you'll hate who she's going to become.

Best of luck to you. Don't take this as gospel.

But its like I want to be with her. I still love her. Can I change anything to help her..

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Steel yourself, take a deep breath, call her, tell her it's over, that you get the hint.

It will hurt you, I won't lie, and her too, most likely: You might both be in the stage where you can tell yourself you're meant for each other, and rationalize away all the bad signs. The woman always seems to finally figure out that she doesn't love you first; change this. You might love her for who she was, but you'll hate who she's going to become.

Best of luck to you. Don't take this as gospel.Easy, Infrared. I've been reading most of your S&A posts, and they're all negative. Why?

I wouldn't know; the specifics are between you two. However, this has happened to me before, almost in this exact fashion, and it led to the dissolution of six years of togetherness and a downward spiral for me. I know you love her, dude, and I DO know how it feels; even once that shit starts and you see bad signs, you don't stop loving her...If you proceed on, these signs might get more frequent and you two might grow apart...Or if I'm wrong, which I hope I am, you two will somehow overcome. If you choose to go on, and you start seeing more and more signs of dissolution, please save yourself a LOT of pain later on by making yourself feel a little and don't go further. (EDIT: preceding post is for the thread starter)

Pinball: Bad experiences. There's a "worst" one, but it's not the only one.



[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 06-23-2004).]

last summer we had a fight and took time off from each other for about 2 months... and i was very depressed and I really thought of killing myself... these past days i thought that breakign up with her was a good idea but whenever thought of it i thought of me dieing... because i wouldnt be able to go on without her..

Well, with that attitude you sound like a whiney spinless, clingy baby. She's probably not into you anymore. Deal with it.

It hurts. You get over it and move on.

The only reason you can't see anything else is because of the habit you've formed. Life will go on.

devlant stop whining and act like a man. sit her down and lay it on the line. if there's a problem then she needs to tell you. if she has fallen for someone else you have a right to know.

or just put her over your knee.

Yes you will, dev, if you have to; if that's the hand you're given, you've got to play it. Do what you can with what you've got.

Understand that I'm not saying "dump the bitch"; I'm saying that there is a good chance that it's downhill from here. I think that, for NOW, you should stay the course - but if those signs of her disinterest and withdraw from you increase...That's when you might want to end it. Do it, tell yourself that your heart's still beating and there's still air in your lungs, cry if you gotta, but DON'T convince yourself that you're nothing without her. I know you didn't give her ALL of you - maybe a lot, but there's still some "you" left for you. It's that that's going to eventually stop the crying fits and the suicidal tendencies, get you out of bed in the morning, and be the reason that you can say "I'm still me, and I have a lot to offer" and eventually, however long it may take, pull yourself back up. If you do this, DON'T alienate your friends: They're very, very valuable to you at this point. I suggest you also find a female friend - FRIEND, not another date - to confide in and be given perspective by. You might find that a female presence satiates a lot of your longing for the past, even if all you do is talk to her heart-to-heart or get a hug from her. That's all you SHOULD do, btw - trying to push that into love will leave you even more broken.

That's just advice, should you need it. I'm only one guy, remember; please don't let me convince you that you and her are doomed. I'm just trying to be honest with you and warn you of what may, and I stress, MAY, lie ahead.

By the way, email me if you ever want to for any reason, my address is in my profile.

Stay strong. Nothing is ever easy, but nothing can ruin you if you don't let it, either.

And hentei/lordsj, knock that shit off. Now isn't the time for it. I was in the same stage earlier on, ht, and posted sometimes about it, but you weren't around here to see. And if I recall, you told me I should "give your man lessons", so lay off the "be a man" shit. You're both female - what the hell would you know about being a man? Like I said - nothing is ever easy. We're slaves to our hearts sometimes, just like you. I guess you're just too shallow to see that: That explains why hentei gets backhanded and why johnson has been left so bitter.



[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 06-23-2004).]

Sorry if this sounds like "whining" to you people. But apparently I still love her and would like to figure something out. Sorry to the people who think im whining. I guess i made a post...

THanks for the good help Infrared.

Thanks to the others. I guess everyone tries to help in different worlds. Thanks guys

No need to start a new thread. Just pick up with the original thread. People do read bumped threads. Thank you.