Hi I'm new at posting topics, but I read many of the posts. Anyways I'm not sure if this was posted but I was wondering what your thoughts on this situation would be.

Currently I'm 18 and I have a girlfriend thats 20 (gonna be 21 in july). We've been together for almost 3 years. Weve known each other for more then 2 years before we hooked up. We also live very close to each other. When we first got together we started to have sex. The first year we had sex about 4 days a week, about 1-2 times a day.

Then I guess the second year we had sex often; guess we got tired of it. But anyways now shes has a job and shes works alot and everytime I go see her at her house she says she tired and she doesnt seem really interest in me, but she says she loves me and we kiss and stuff like that. But when I try to cuddle/get close to her she says shes tired and give her some space? I know she loves me and everything. We got out alot and spend time together ans shes seems to enjoy it but now like if I ask her to get intimate she says no and says to for me to let her rest. WE spend alot of time together, we kiss and stuff but she doesn't like when I try to get really close.

Basically did the sex get boring or Is something wrong? If so how can i fix it?



P.S Sorry If i posted something repetitive or if any grammer is wrong. I could use advice thanks ahead of time.

A: She's going to dump you.

B: She's found another man with a bigger dick/faster car/larger bank account, and she's going to dump you.

I'm not trying to be an asshole: I feel you deserve the unsugared truth.

first off welcome to totse and S&A.

second i'd probably have to agree with me ol'china Infra but do take what he says 'bout women in general with a pinch of salt cos he's a sort of byronesk figure whose universal remedy for relationships revolves around pieces of soft alloy travelling at high velocity!

anyway

a lot of relationships 'level out' sexually over the years -as work/money/time stresses come along.

when did you last make time (and cash) for her?

and how many kids has she had now? (if none then maybe she's beginning to wonder/getting broody).

Jack's damn right; be sure to figure out what of mine is pure E-pinion and what is serious advice or objective fact. I try to make it clear, but I don't always succeed.

Rent a fast car, take her some where expensive... then give her drugs so she doesn't know it's smaller.

Ah, the ignominy of Tinymethdick....

Just don't let her see it before you finally get it up.

well, to solve all your problems............ find a mistress, i heard it helps

^^^come on bunny-perhaps he loves her? it does happen.

Thanks for so many replies. Its not like were in a bad relationship. I don't think she is going to break up with me. She had no babies. When we are out its all good and happy. But when I visit her at her house on the days she has off and stuff she says shes just tired and doesn't want to get close. But when we go out shes active and happy towards me.

Oh i guess i have a fast car (maxima 2004) and i think size is good lol.

[This message has been edited by devlant (edited 06-21-2004).]

What's your living situation? Do you (as in both of you) live on your own or with family?

Infrared has so little faith in humanity. He could be right, he could be wrong. There's not enough info to speculate.

The simplest explanation is that she's actually tired. A new job can do that. Plus, assuming it's summer where you are, the heat can add to the fatigue.

Relationships evolve and change. The timeline is a little different for everyone, but at some points you reach plateaus where everything seems sort of "meh". These are times when the less committed often give up.

Often, it seems one person is pulling away because they need some space. This could be due to new job demands or other stuff. If you sense this, allowing her more space than you think she needs is the best tactic. I realize it's not an easy thing to do. But she may need it so that she can reconfigure herself and become accustomed to a new schedule and new personal goals while deciding how to dole out her time and energy.

In recent weeks I've found myself, for the first time in my life, "too tired for sex" for various reasons. It certainly had nothing to do with my man, except that I felt comfortable enough with him that I knew he'd understand and not take it personally.

sorry to break it to you man, But more than likely she is going to break up with you...

With he turning 21 in July and you're still 18, she probablly has alot on her mind

Like maybe she is going to want to hang out in clubs/bars now or she wants to start dating older men

OR their is this possiblity, maybe she is afraid of love, and she is starting to doubt that she can continue with a growing relationship!

More than likely its the age difference she feels older now, and your still a teen!

well i hope you figure something out QUICK man!

quote:except that I felt comfortable enough with him that I knew he'd understand and not take it personally.

if you take anything from this thread people then this. that's the real deal.

Well... the way I see it, there are two possible explanations.

1. Infrared is somewhat right, and your chick is about to dump you. She might not even realize it, or she may be thinking about it, and isn't sure yet. Either way, this might be a prelude to a dumping. (My friend Jason just went through a similar situation. Dating an older woman, together for two years, sex was great at first, then it waned off, then after nearly six months of vaguery and two months of no sex, she broke it off, because she found someone else. It was rough.)

Or, it could be...

2. She really is tired. Women go through phases. Like this past weekend, my husband and I had sex... damn, six or seven times? It was a lot. In any case, this means it's probably going to be weeks before we do it again. (Six or seven might not seem like a lot to some of you, but you try having sex with a rambunctious one year old in the house.) Plus, everything deadlycindy said was acurate. She probably really is tired from the job/heat, etc.

So, instead of freaking out, do what she asks. Give her some breathing room. Don't be all over her all the time. There is nothing more irritating to me than asking my husband to back off, and he just continues to rub on me like a dog in heat. All that does is turn me off sex even more.

Maybe you should try a date night at home. Start of by running her a bath, with candles, incense, bubbles, scents, etc... have a good book handy, and a glass of wine. Get her in the tub, then leave her alone. Let her soak for an hour by herself. While she's soaking, make her dinner. Spaghetti is always a good choice. A salad and some bread to go with it. Again, more wine. Rent her favorite movie, and after dinner, curl up on the sofa with her, and let her relax. If it doesn't gross you out, rub her feet. Use lotion for that, by the way. After the movie, tuck her into bed. Kiss her, tell her you love her, and that you'll call her soon.

Then leave.

A perfect, romantic evening, plus, you didn't pressure her for sex. Let her know you still love her, and that you respect her wishes, all in one go.

In the meantime, calm down. Let her get adjusted to her new job, and then wait for her to come to you. Don't stop telling her you love her, or that you want her. Just don't push at her. Let her know that you're content to wait until she's ready again. Capiche?

Good luck.

quote:Originally posted by devlant:

Hi I'm new at posting topics, but I read many of the posts. Anyways I'm not sure if this was posted but I was wondering what your thoughts on this situation would be.

Currently I'm 18 and I have a girlfriend thats 20 (gonna be 21 in july). We've been together for almost 3 years. Weve known each other for more then 2 years before we hooked up. We also live very close to each other. When we first got together we started to have sex. The first year we had sex about 4 days a week, about 1-2 times a day.

Then I guess the second year we had sex often; guess we got tired of it. But anyways now shes has a job and shes works alot and everytime I go see her at her house she says she tired and she doesnt seem really interest in me, but she says she loves me and we kiss and stuff like that. But when I try to cuddle/get close to her she says shes tired and give her some space? I know she loves me and everything. We got out alot and spend time together ans shes seems to enjoy it but now like if I ask her to get intimate she says no and says to for me to let her rest. WE spend alot of time together, we kiss and stuff but she doesn't like when I try to get really close.

Basically did the sex get boring or Is something wrong? If so how can i fix it?



P.S Sorry If i posted something repetitive or if any grammer is wrong. I could use advice thanks ahead of time.

Omg! You can get tired of it???

AJ shakes her head in disbelief...

Ok, its every males worst nightmare, talk to her, about how she feels. I know it hurts just to think about it but its the only way, it has saved me plenty of times.

thanks, for so many replies! There all so helpful. Totse = Good advice I think YOu guys cleared some stuff for me. I guess now talking to her and give her some rest and do what you guys said would be the right thing to do now! Thanks.

quote:Originally posted by devlant:

thanks, for so many replies! There all so helpful. Totse = Good advice I think YOu guys cleared some stuff for me. I guess now talking to her and give her some rest and do what you guys said would be the right thing to do now! Thanks.

no problem glad to help But remember only S&A is only good advice!

I also got another question When we first met we used to kiss alot and she didnt mind it i guess. like since 1 year ago she told me when i kiss her i have alot of saliva so she doesnt really like kissing. and when we jus peck on the lips she says it gets saliva on her lips so she wipes her mouth is there a way not to get that much saliva?

Stupid question sorry, but i gotta know~

smack the bitch next time she says that...or just find something about her you don't like and point it out and rub it in.

Try swallowing before you kiss her. Also, try not to lick your lips. Instead, use chapstick. But just a light coat. No need to have sticky lips.

quote:Originally posted by Sidewayz:

smack the bitch next time she says that...or just find something about her you don't like and point it out and rub it in.

lol....is devlant going to have to choke a bitch!