Me and this girl, we have been on and off for like 7 years... now we are older and wiser (and hotter, and drinking haha) and we've been hanging out a LOT, almost dating but not officially.

i really want to ask her if she wants more... or passionately kiss her... something like that to let her know that i want her.

im pretty sure she feels the same way, but i can never be exactly certain.

should i go ahead? i could deal with not having her as a girlfriend, but i couldnt deal with losing her as a friend

NO.

NO NO NO NO NO.

DO NOT fuck up what's already a good thing. You will ALWAYS regret it years down the road when the "love of your life" is with someone else, and you've lost both her, AND your longtime friend.

DON'T.

see thats how i feel as well...

but what if she is the love of my life? we work so well together... and mutual friends say we are made for each other.

i dont want to... but i SO want to.



is it realistic to think that if i do and it ends up not working out we can still be friends?

But what if She is the love of his life ? What if he regrets not taking it further - ends up thinking all his life " what if? "

I'm sure if she doesn't respond favourably to his advances, if she is such a good friend she will forgive him.

this is the dilemma.........you wan't to make a move that could seem purposful OR accidental and innocent....if she responds favourably...then take it from there....if not....then back off.

I don't care how you feel: DON'T DO IT.

If she's the love of his life, intern, that will reveal itself in time. But now, JUST. DON'T. DO. IT. Trust me.

Hmmmmmmm Infrared , but surely a little kiss to see if she will respond can't hurt ? I've been in this situation , it happened we kissed - well alot more than kissed , we realized after a few times it woudn't work as a relationship and continued on the friendship. I guess it depends on maturity eh , me being in my 30's I spose makes a difference.

i say no on this, if you try to push thing and she doesn't feel the same way, you end up losing a friend b/c everybody knows you can't be friends after that. and even if she does feel the same way, nothing says your relationship will last... if&when you break it off you still end up losing a good friend.

intern: I'm not trying to disprove what you are saying, just so you know. I'm just sensitive I guess, because I had a similar experience, and I made a huge mistake. Now, when I see two good friends, and one friend is considering being more than friends with the other, I get scared. I don't care who it is; I don't want ANYONE to go through what I did, and what is still damaging me. I'm not saying that friends-to-love can NEVER be successful, but just....For myself and others I've known throughout my life, it's always gone wrong. I would never, ever take the risk again.

Stabby: You're very right. And, let's say they should become a couple for oh, say, six years, it will 1: Be a silent struggle to be both friend and lover, for both people, and 2: When it ends, both will have lost a best friend AND a love, so it's twice as painful. You'll be needing and craving the friendship which you got from that person - to help you through the heartbreak and pain of losing, ironically, that same person. That's how it is for me - I miss Kelly deeply, and I wish I had her to talk to about my loss and my pain and my drug addiction and all the things I feel - all because I lost her.

And the only problem with a kiss/sex: One might trip on a kiss and fall into love. That's what tends to happen. Or they may become friends who play with each other, which is optimal, though I still don't recommend it, because one party or the other will from then on be jealous if the other is dating/having sex with someone else. Always.



-Infrared



[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 06-16-2004).]

Infrared , I guess every situation is different , everyone reacts in different ways . I hope whatever this guy does it works out well for him and I hope you also get over the hurt you are suffering .

Drop a few subtle hints. If she doesn't respond, leave it.

My best male friend told me he loved me before christmas, and we're still kind of weird 'round each other now.

You could totally wreck your friendship, so definately be sure that you want to take it further.

I'm pretty sure that's nearly what everyone else said, but it's just my perspective.

Intern: I'm dating a woman named Crystal, now. She's an expensive one, but she's there when I have the money. I don't need to eat when I'm with her; she doesn't cook, but she makes it so that I don't NEED food - that's a hell of a dame. She makes me feel great, but she's going to be the death of me, and I'm aware of it. But she keeps me from thinking about Kelly, and all Crystal does is damage my body, not my heart, so I'll stick with the bitch for awhile.

Me + Crystal: Forcibly together 'till the end of my life

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

I'm dating a woman named Crystal, now.



My friend dated her for a while, needed a clinic to get over her . Get your friends to help you kick that bitch onto the curb!

Don't really understand what you mean by that ?

talk to her about whether she thinks its possible that your friendship could ever been anything more than that..then act on what she says..

Shittie

Seems all the decent S&A threads end up in here and all the shitty ones there.



Shek

Edit: Yay, it was moved.

[This message has been edited by Prince Charming (edited 06-16-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by intern_7:

Don't really understand what you mean by that ?

Here she is, dressed in something see-through! (http://www.xpressdrugtest.com/images/methamphetamine1.jpg)

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 06-16-2004).]