So I had a conversation with my boyfriend tonight. I've been thinking a lot lately and I wanted us to go to a sexual health clinic, or something comparable, to be tested for STDs/STIs. We're in the early stages of our relationship (3 months in) so I wanted to get it out of the way before things get way more physical. The dilema here is this; for an undisclosed reason he'd rather just use protection all the time rather than go to the clinic with me. I know all of his partners, and I know he's honest with me. I don't fear that he has something or anything like that, I just don't know how I feel about him refusing to go. We're in an open relationship...so it may seem pointless to some, but I still feel it's important. Anyway, enough random babbling, what would you do in my shoes? Keep in mind that this is very important to me, it's not like it's a random idea I threw out to see how he'd react.

quote:Originally posted by Davanman:

...We're in an open relationship...so it may seem pointless to some, but I still feel it's important. Anyway, enough random babbling, what would you do in my shoes? Keep in mind that this is very important to me, it's not like it's a random idea I threw out to see how he'd react.

Why is this so important to you?

It seems pretty pointless to me indeed, and likely it seems pointless to him. You have an "open relationship" but you still want him to answer to you in this regard. Make up your mind.

What would I do in your shoes? Not have an "open relationship" since it's mostly a farce. You're really just "seeing each other" and the decision to be tested is up to him without regard to your opinion. And the decision is yours to continue to see him or not.

He just doesn't want a swap stuck up his pee-hole. :-)

And I think he's reassuring you saying that he'd use condoms all the time just to be safe.

He's probably scared to go, incase he does find out if there is something wrong and he does have a disease.

He probably doesn't, he is just scared to find out if he does or not.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy

Make up your mind.

The decision to make the relationship open was his, moreover, neither of us take advantage of it's existance.

But I guess you're right, thanks.



[This message has been edited by Davanman (edited 06-16-2004).]

If i was you, and it was imporant to me to get tested, I would tell him that he needs to come get tested before you have sex. Hold out until he does.

If you are in an open relationship, you still ALWAYS! need to use protection whether or not you both test negative. If you don't, you're pretty much asking to get STDs.

quote:If you are in an open relationship, you still ALWAYS! need to use protection whether or not you both test negative. If you don't, you're pretty much asking to get STDs.



thats the real deal luv.

It could be any number of reasons. But as long as he keeps it wrapped I don't see what the problem is. If you want to get yourself tested anyway, go for it.