Well, see, there's this chick, for a lack of name we'll call her "Suzy". I've like Suzy since this first time I met her. She's funny, cute, sarcastic, smart, blonde, everything a guy could want. We hung out a bunch of times, and we liked each other of friends. But there's this really big religious douchbag (We'll call Joe). Joe's been going through relationship, through relationship, through relationship.

See, he's got the relationship skills of a grade 7. He keeps on saying "God wants me to be with her." You know, that scary shit. Since I've been around her, I've noticed that I'm not as rude anymore, I swear almost never.

Then last week, he rubbed it my face and EVERYONE's face about him going out with her. I know that Suzy doesn't like Joe, but Joe's almost obssesed with her. I go to see a movie with her and the next day he's like "So you went to see a movie with Suzy?" and "Did you kiss her?" And he kept on interogating me.

I want to ask her out and take her away from Joe because Joe's just going to leave her. I know it. Can someone, anyone help?

kill joe?

Yea, murder isn't legal up here. I'm trying to win her, murder would probably set her back at least 10 states.

ask her out...if she says no, well, too bad, plenty of fish in the sea man...

PS. I hate religious types...

quote:Originally posted by DarkDynamoX:

See, he's got the relationship skills of a grade 7. He keeps on saying "God wants me to be with her."

This has nothing to do with grade 7, obviously.

Either he is joking, or he really is very deep into religion (although in that case I would think he would rather say "God wants her to be my wife"), or you are making this up.

quote:Originally posted by DarkDynamoX:

Yea, murder isn't legal up here.

That only makes it all the more fun.

Haha, that's fucked up because my name is Joe, and my sisters name is Suzy.

Just tell your friend that you want her, because you know he will leave her.

Actually, if her loves her so much, then why would he leave her? If anything I would think that she would leave him.

Don't dick your friend over though, just wait your turn. Among teenagers, sexual partners get passed around the group.

I have had groups of friends where almost everyone has fucked everyone at some point in time.

ASK HER, i mean if she dosent like you and your like her gay friend, then thats cool. Im not saying your gay, but i have been the gay friend before. it sucks. if she says no, then to bad. It canbt hurt.

quote:Originally posted by DarkDynamoX:

Well, see, there's this chick, for a lack of name we'll call her "Suzy". I've like Suzy since this first time I met her. She's funny, cute, sarcastic, smart, blonde, everything a guy could want. We hung out a bunch of times, and we liked each other of friends. But there's this really big religious douchbag (We'll call Joe). Joe's been going through relationship, through relationship, through relationship.

See, he's got the relationship skills of a grade 7. He keeps on saying "God wants me to be with her." You know, that scary shit. Since I've been around her, I've noticed that I'm not as rude anymore, I swear almost never.

Then last week, he rubbed it my face and EVERYONE's face about him going out with her. I know that Suzy doesn't like Joe, but Joe's almost obssesed with her. I go to see a movie with her and the next day he's like "So you went to see a movie with Suzy?" and "Did you kiss her?" And he kept on interogating me.

I want to ask her out and take her away from Joe because Joe's just going to leave her. I know it. Can someone, anyone help?

If Joe's just going to leave her, just wait untill he does, then ask Suzy out.

Okay, sorry bout that. Had to go to work. Back now. Okay.

1) Trench Coat: I would, but she just went out with him, down to a movie. Which is pissing me off at the moment. He even described EVERY part of what he did. He did the god damn yawn and arm thing that's so fucking old.

2) Uncus: He's VERY relgious. Okay, he's been obeying the bible with strict folks who make him go to bed at 9 oclock at night. He's not going as far as the wife thing cause then she would find out, and kick his ass.

3) Stupid noob: I can't tell him because he's the kind of jackass to get in everyones way and tell Suzy that I like her. He's been in alot of relationships all that he says he loves them, and god loves them and they should be together.

4) bushy: I'm not gay. I'm more like bi-curious. She's bi and I'm cool with this. He's not. He says that he thinks he can change her, which is just disgusting on many levels.

5) KillaCas: I would do that, but see, there's always What If. What if (for some astronomicaly huge reason) he doesn't leave her? Then I'm out on the side while he's out with the person who actualy makes me smile and I mean it. She actually makes me believe that I can have positive emotions.

Anyway, I welcome more advice.

Study the Bible and then rape him with its fallacies and inconsistencies. Hopefully he will have a heart attack like that one guy in the 20s.

You mean like, "If the world's only 5000 years old, then why is there Dinosaurs 20 Million years old?" And shit like that? I don't think that would work. He's found passages that contradict other passages in the bible, and then more passages the contradict the contradictions. I didn't even know if that was possible.

turn suzy or whatever her name is into a satanist.

She's borderline suicidal with past attempts. She's not religious or anything, but remember that damn line, "I know I can change her."

quote:Originally posted by bushy:

ASK HER, i mean if she dosent like you and your like her gay friend, then thats cool. Im not saying your gay, but i have been the gay friend before. it sucks. if she says no, then to bad. It canbt hurt.

Ha, ha, you're gay!

Gay-boy! And you spelled can't* wrong.

*Snickers*

you say Suzy doesn't like him and she still went out with him? Interesting....

Anyway, don't let that bible-thumper intimidate you, ask the damn girl out shit. Or you could kick joe's ass or slander him or somthing if your into destroying people's lives. the posssibilities are endless.

Cheers,

-The Infidel

quote:Originally posted by DarkDynamoX:

She's borderline suicidal with past attempts. She's not religious or anything, but remember that damn line, "I know I can change her."

Why do people always seem to fall for the most fucked up people they can find?

I just hate religion. I mean, I respect the people who are that religious and all, I just think that they are, in some respects, stupid. Religion just makes me angry. But in a good way.

Anyways, as for the advice: whatever you do, make sure that your actions result in making 'joe' sad. Plan some elaborate scheme or something. Manipulate people.

what happened to the days where if someone was hassling you, you beat the living shit out of them and it would stop ? no talking, no religious descussions jus beat him into an inch of meeting his 'god' and leave him to wallow in a pool of his own blood and bodily fluids and im preety sure he wont hassle you any more

quote:Originally posted by JoJo:

what happened to the days where if someone was hassling you, you beat the living shit out of them and it would stop ? no talking, no religious descussions jus beat him into an inch of meeting his 'god' and leave him to wallow in a pool of his own blood and bodily fluids and im preety sure he wont hassle you any more



People started realising that being charged with assualt is a lot worse than an ass kicking

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

kill joe?

*insert intro music from kill bill with uma thurman driving*

Kill Joe: Volume I

He can't change her.

Idiots like that are full of 'try' but never get to 'did'.

See, they are ambitious. They want to make a change. But they can't, because they don't get it. He doesn't get Suzy.

What do you have that he doesn't? Or vice versa?

quote:Originally posted by SkiPpYP:



People started realising that being charged with assualt is a lot worse than an ass kicking

No, they reached the age of "18".

Or,

or attempted murder, that's a nasty one.

and thats why god invented balaclavas

God wants him to be with her? Like God told George Bush he had divine right to the presidency? Just tell him Allah said to fuck off.

Be brutally honest. tell him he's fucked in the head and if he starts you, kick his arse. win win situation... cept for joe of course. he kinda gets screwed. but fuck him, i'd never trust anyone that's blindly religious anyway, there's something unnatural about it.

*edit* just saw one of your later posts.

don't worry about him telling her you like her. get in first and tell her yourself. be bold. i know it's a LOT easier said than done, but you have to bite the bullet and just tell her you like her. and be sure to look for any excuse to beat the shit out of joe unless she's one of those independant strong girls that doesn't like guys fighting for her. some women find that objectifying, but by and large i think a lot of them enjoy it even if they won't admit it.

[This message has been edited by CaptainBlackAdder (edited 06-13-2004).]

Punch him in the face and tell him god wanted that.

quote:Originally posted by CaptainBlackAdder:

Be brutally honest. tell him he's fucked in the head and if he starts you, kick his arse. win win situation... cept for joe of course. he kinda gets screwed. but fuck him, i'd never trust anyone that's blindly religious anyway, there's something unnatural about it.

*edit* just saw one of your later posts.

don't worry about him telling her you like her. get in first and tell her yourself. be bold. i know it's a LOT easier said than done, but you have to bite the bullet and just tell her you like her. and be sure to look for any excuse to beat the shit out of joe unless she's one of those independant strong girls that doesn't like guys fighting for her. some women find that objectifying, but by and large i think a lot of them enjoy it even if they won't admit it.

[This message has been edited by CaptainBlackAdder (edited 06-13-2004).]

Finaly, someone puts it in words that I can understand. I think I might try that, but I don't want to do it over the phone, I want to do it in person, she lives 5 minutes away on a drive. How do I get her to come to this town without her knowing that I'm going to tell her?

LOOK HIM IN THE EYES AND SAY WITH NO EMOTION AT ALL.



GOD IS FAKE

dude God wants me to be with her not fucking faggot joe, so give me her # so i can call her

quote:Originally posted by Hoskins:

LOOK HIM IN THE EYES AND SAY WITH NO EMOTION AT ALL.



GOD IS FAKE

Yea, i've done that. He just grins from ear to ear, which his ears are FUCKING HUGE (My and Suzy have an inside joke that we think his ears can pick up satalite signals, and when we are all together I just say beep, and she laughs hystaracly, and Joe has no idea what's going on), and say's "Quiet Steve".

His grin pisses me off. When ever anyone says anything that makes fun of anything on him, or if he's about to swear of express any emotion, or if you make comments about him being feminin, he justs GRINS!!!! FUCK! I HATE THAT FUCKING GRIN!!

quote:Originally posted by DarkDynamoX:

Well, see, there's this chick, for a lack of name we'll call her "Suzy". I've like Suzy since this first time I met her. She's funny, cute, sarcastic, smart, blonde, everything a guy could want. We hung out a bunch of times, and we liked each other of friends. But there's this really big religious douchbag (We'll call Joe). Joe's been going through relationship, through relationship, through relationship.

See, he's got the relationship skills of a grade 7. He keeps on saying "God wants me to be with her." You know, that scary shit. Since I've been around her, I've noticed that I'm not as rude anymore, I swear almost never.

Then last week, he rubbed it my face and EVERYONE's face about him going out with her. I know that Suzy doesn't like Joe, but Joe's almost obssesed with her. I go to see a movie with her and the next day he's like "So you went to see a movie with Suzy?" and "Did you kiss her?" And he kept on interogating me.

I want to ask her out and take her away from Joe because Joe's just going to leave her. I know it. Can someone, anyone help?

mayby instead of stealing suzey from joe steal joe from suzey

quote:Originally posted by DarkDynamoX:

Yea, i've done that. He just grins from ear to ear, which his ears are FUCKING HUGE (My and Suzy have an inside joke that we think his ears can pick up satalite signals, and when we are all together I just say beep, and she laughs hystaracly, and Joe has no idea what's going on), and say's "Quiet Steve".

His grin pisses me off. When ever anyone says anything that makes fun of anything on him, or if he's about to swear of express any emotion, or if you make comments about him being feminin, he justs GRINS!!!! FUCK! I HATE THAT FUCKING GRIN!!

He's just an arrogant prick. It's a self defense mechanism to protect himself from other's opinions.

The best thing to do, then, is to not try and use him in anyway that would leave you open to an attack from him.

Dangerous are the fools that don't know they are what they are.

^^^That's pretty good...what would leave me open for an attack?

quote:Originally posted by SkiPpYP:

Why do people always seem to fall for the most fucked up people they can find?



I asked myself this because of my current girlfriend,but then I realize,my relationship and life would be boring with someone "normal".

quote:Originally posted by 33% God:

I asked myself this because of my current girlfriend,but then I realize,my relationship and life would be boring with someone "normal".

She's not completely fucked up, just a bit.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

kill joe?

Indeed. If you can't bring yourself to, drop a brick on him. Or really scare the shit out of him, get him real scared and tell him that she is the devil in disguise. If you're 555 then I'm 666, oh how I want to be a HERETIC.

Fight fire with fire

Invent your own religous cult of which are for sum reason at war with every body by the name of "joe" get loads of people to join{me being the first member!)and wage a massive psycologiacal war against him. until he just fucks off to another state.

[great fun this one ]

This is my advice. Tell Suzy your feelings for her and that you will be there for her. (And make damn sure you can keep that promise.) Then let things play out. If Joe is likely going to leave her then she will likely come to you, or she will dump the ass (if she truly doesn’t like him). About his obsession with her and when he interrogates you, tell him it’s none of his concern. He starts shit over it, “self defense”. Joe being so religious is nothing more than an annoyance and you could cut it out of the equation, until he says “God wants me to be with her.” Then you very rudely say something along the lines of “God doesn’t give a flying fuck about you and your relationships. Don’t you dare say that in front of me ever again.” (Sorry, I just got finished watching a documentary about a mother who killed her two daughters and used her faith to justify what she did. Was very disturbing.)

quote:Originally posted by Azankenn:

(Sorry, I just got finished watching a documentary about a mother who killed her two daughters and used her faith to justify what she did. Was very disturbing.)

I saw that documentry too. What a bitch. Killing her children, I'd kill her!

kill him.

you have two reasons for this

1>overly religious

2>he has the girl you want

now dont get me wrong i believe in god but all these super christians just doesnt feel right to me.there is something odd about it i cant put my finger on.it makes me feel uncomfortable being in churches and near very religious people.

Psych Ops against Joe. It is time.



-Ingsoc

The girl you're interested in is always going out with some asshole who is not only wrong for her, but bad for her. This is a law of nature.

I'm reminded of an incident last summer where I was hanging out with these two girls. Now keep in mind that when either one of them talked to her boyfriend on the phone all males in the vacinity had to shut the hell up because they were insanely jelous, and wouldn't let them have any male friends. The guys were practialy identical to each other as far as I could tell from what I heard about them (I never met them).

Now it turned out that I developed an interest in one of the girls. While I would almost never try to break up a relationship for personal gain, I have no problem when the guy is that big of an asshole. I've always had trouble with girls, and had never been in a situation like that, so I laid out the situation to her friend. (I'd give names, but they were both named Ashley, and that would just get confusing.)

Keep in mind that their boyfriends are practicaly identical in personality, and they know this. The friend tells me that the other girls boyfriend is a total asshole, I would be infinatly better for her than him, and she could probably get her friend to go out with me.

Despite laying out these simple facts in the couse of a minute, she was totaly blind to the fact that everything she said about her friends boyfriend applied to hers.

Chicks are nuts.