All right. Here's the story in short. I tell the guy i like how i feel. I get shot down. OK. Fine. He refuses to tell me flat-out that he doesnt feel the same way [even when i push for it] and he flirts all the time. He "jokingly" asks for kisses when we're talking online, he sends me four half-naked pictures of him, and he refuses to beleive that ANY guy i might be interested in is good enough.

example: i tell him about a guy who called me a few days ago, that i might end up going out with. His exuse why i shouldnt date this other guy? "You might think about having sex."

...

right.

He's acting like a jealous lover! I can't go and see any guy w/o him drilling me about it, and telling me i shoudlnt see him [he knows none of these guys; he lives a ways away and we go to dif. schools]. What's going on? what should i do? What CAN i do?

thanks.

Ditch him, move on. He's a wanker.

has he asked for (or hinting at) getting half naked pics from you in return yet?

Guys can be territorial in practice and oblique about their feelings.

So tell him what he wants to know. Let him drill you, and give him the details about the wonderful time you plan to have with whatever guy. Or if you don't feel like discussing it, tell him so. If he says "you might think about sex" respond with "Yes, I might at that!" If he says a certain guy isn't "good enough" you can say you disagree, or that you'll never know until you spend time with him, or that it's just a "date" and you're not looking to get married yet.

Whatever you do, refrain from saying things along the lines of "Well, you said you don't want me, so..." No need to give him the impression that your choices revolve around him.

quote:Originally posted by henteichicken:

has he asked for (or hinting at) getting half naked pics from you in return yet?

no, and i know he won't.

^^^ thats good. then i'd go with what DC says.

quote:Originally posted by Chibi Shinigami:

no, and i know he won't.

We all will. It's just a matter of when and how. I'm not proud of that, but it's the sad truth. That's the only reason I have about 185 of "those" sorts of photos of Kelly, ranging from fully-covered by nice lingerie to extremely pornographic. No, it wasn't my only goal or something; it was something I wanted from her, and she was more than happy to give, and I returned (though not quite 185, but she was happy with the 50-ish, which is what mattered. That's coming from her, not me). Anyway, fuck that shit. I guarantee you that all those righteous, pious, "no sex until marriage/I could live my life with a woman without ever having sex" mother fuckers are also chronic masturbators and perverts, and have been since about 12, though they've adapted to living in extremely repressed, cloistered religious or hypermoral conditions, and the ideals thereof. My point is, A: He's going to ask you someday. B: It doesn't mean he just wants to fuck you or jack off with them when you're not around; some of us are a little better than that. Some aren't, however. Follow your gut, NOT your heart. Not right now. If your head's saying no but your heart's screaming yes, listen to your head. This is just general advice. For nude pictures specifically, it's up to you, but I suggest you get realistic about the fact that he IS going to use them as smack material, BUT: If he's for real and such, it will be SPECIAL smack material, yet also something you two and you two alone share, and there's a very delicious feeling that comes with that. I'm not trying to be funny; I'm serious.

And since I'm an honest guy, I'll just say that A: I wanted those pictures both for couply/"closeness" reasons, AND for smack material, B: I wouldn't be able to live my life out with a woman without being able to enjoy the physical side of things too, and C: A non-sexual male does not exist. Period. Some can control it better than others, some are more open than others, some more repressed than others, some more ignorant than others, but we ALL want it, on whatever level. Just like you. Just like everyone. Me? I can control it, it has it's place, it isn't my priority in a relationship, it isn't something I even think about a whole lot, but god damnit, I'm a horny, red-blooded male who loves sex, and always will. But I won't have it with a woman I don't trust or respect. That's about it.

-Infrared



[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 06-11-2004).]

I forgot to mention...we're also pretty close friends. that might make a difference too. I talked to one of my friends, and he came up wiht,



*********: he likes you, but not nesecarily in that way, he might want to wait until you move in together because if he says he likes you now, so what? what will happen, nothing. nothing will change, and all thats happened is all the feelings are expressed and he cant do anything else about it

*********: but in the meen time he doesnt want you dating other people that you might be likely to do serious stuff with

*********: he wants you for himself, but not right now



i found that last statement; "he wants you for himself but not right now" pretty enlightening.



still, anything else anyone wants to add = wonderful.

EDIT:

Infra: Our relationship really isnt like that. I mean, we havent even kissed, or held hands even, because of distance. The only reason they were off in THOSE photos were because it was hot out. Plus, he is the MOST avid no-sex-before-marriage person i have ever seen. He's never gone farther than making out...and i know him VERY well, enough to know he won't ask me for them.

[This message has been edited by Chibi Shinigami (edited 06-12-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Chibi Shinigami:

I forgot to mention...we're also pretty close friends. that might make a difference too. I talked to one of my friends, and he came up wiht,



*********: he likes you, but not nesecarily in that way, he might want to wait until you move in together because if he says he likes you now, so what? what will happen, nothing. nothing will change, and all thats happened is all the feelings are expressed and he cant do anything else about it

*********: but in the meen time he doesnt want you dating other people that you might be likely to do serious stuff with

*********: he wants you for himself, but not right now



i found that last statement; "he wants you for himself but not right now" pretty enlightening.



still, anything else anyone wants to add = wonderful.

If he's not ready for a serious relationship with you RIGHT NOW then he shouldn't punish you by saying that you are not allowed to date other guys

You can do whatever the hell you want to do.

He's not the boss of you and he can't control your life.

IF you like him and all you think about is him, and if you started dating another guy you would STILL only think about him, then I suggest that you don't toy around with other guys' feelings. Just wait it out till either HE steps up and admits what he feels, or YOU stop having feelings for him.

Whichever happens first.

If you meet a guy and he seems wonderful and you want to give him a shot, I suggest you go for it. Forget about this other guy for awhile. Focus only on the new one.

Just because right now you're dating another guy, doesn't mean that in the future, when HE is ready for a relationship, you guys won't be together.

There's no hurry. It's not like someone's getting married, or someone is on their death bed.

As long as you've told him how you feel, that's all that matters.

He doesn't want to be with you...He wants to see other girls and enjoy his youth.

However he feels something for you but all that allows him to do is want to control you.

In a manner of speaking.

As Cindy said, guys can be very territorial.

Tell the guy that if he knocked you back then he ain't got shit all to say about who you go for next.

He had his chance and he blew it...Move on sweetheart...It'll make thing so much easier on you.

But then again...There's always the jealousy card...He sees you having fun and being happy with a guy who isn't him, he may get jealous and want you in that way.

Bada-bing, you could getwhat you originally went for.

They're my thoughts...Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Do you guys think there's still a chance of something happening between us?

All's never lost. I'm sorry to bring up me again; it's not because I'm a self-serving prick this time, but because I'm trying to help: I'm not sure if you read any of that shit I used to post about Kelly (ex, bad hurt, etc, bla bla), but if you did, you'll get this.

There's a chance her and I could be something again (no, not because I think I can get her back out of pity or some shit; I have valid reason to believe this, but I'm not going into it). But that would be the god damn most detrimental thing I could do to myself, and would doubtless end with me even more fucked-up than before. Not that it would be so extreme with you and him, but my point is, you shouldn't proceed too eagerly ahead just because there's an open path. Find another way.

/Keymaker: "Always another way."

bump

>bumps Chibi....'s thread <

Jeez, Infra, if her guy finds you two have been bumping threads together, he's really gonna interegate her.

Moony, you should like, seriously get AIM or something, because I think talking to you would be a psychedelic experience.

^^^2nd that!

quote:Originally posted by Chibi Shinigami:

Do you guys think there's still a chance of something happening between us?

Well, anything's possible, but not worth "holding out" for.

quote:Originally posted by Chibi Shinigami:

i found that last statement; "he wants you for himself but not right now" pretty enlightening.

I think this is wishful thinking.



This isn't so much aimed at you, specifically, though it's your thread. This is a common situation both females and males get themselves wrapped up in. If there's a chance of getting together beyond friends, it's more likely to happen if you go on with your life rather than making it obvious you're willing to keep yourself available "in case".

Chibi, given what you told me on AIM about the events in the days after you posted this, where are you going to go from here? I know that's personal, kinda, so don't answer if you don't like. I was just wondering, myself.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Moony, you should like, seriously get AIM or something, because I think talking to you would be a psychedelic experience.

Ya know, I think that it might just be

as you say it will.

He's got some crazy-phasy posts.

quote:Originally posted by psycho_8b:

He doesn't want to be with you...He wants to see other girls and enjoy his youth.

However he feels something for you but all that allows him to do is want to control you.

In a manner of speaking...

And Dr. Psycho speaks .

Seems like sound logic to me. Why not.