The problem is slightly messed up, and it sucks for me.

Remember when I made that post about going to Italy a little while ago? No? Oh, okay, then let me summarize it quick. On a school trip to Italy, I met a girl (who was also on the trip with us but went to a school that's 3 hours away) and really liked her. More so than I have liked anyone as of yet...

Now, though, it seems like whenever I am with a girl, I shy away from them. I don't feel like hitting on them or anything, because it just reminds me of how much I miss that girl from the Italy trip.

For instance...Yesterday I went to prom. On the way back from it, me and the girl were holding hands, and I just overwhelmingly began to miss the girl from the trip, because I thought back to when me and her held hands in Italy.

I know it's really sappy, and I hate those emotional things, so I stopped holding my prom-date's hand. I also let go of her hand because it seemed to me that if I don't like my date as much as the girl from the trip (which I didn't), then there's no point.

Getting close to a girl just reminds me of the Italy trip. It's quite a problem, as you can imagine. It seems to me that this problem might prevail until I find someone I like as much as that girl (from Italy.)

I dunno, what do you guys/gals suggest? It's really messing up my game .

~Mike

Do you have Italy girl's number? If not, why the hell didn't you get. If so, why don't you call her.

So what, she lives 3 hours away. If you talk to her long enough, that first mystic impression you get of certain pesople will subside and you'll realize she's a normal female and there's nothing special about her.

I'd bet that the only reason other girls aren't sparking your interest is because you have an inflated perception of this "perfect dream girl". You spent a couple of days with her in a foreign country, that alone could be romantic no matter who's company you're in.

Point blank, I think your making her out to be better than what she really is. Kind of like, the embodiement of the perfect girl only because you haven't spent enough time with her for her to fuck it up.

You can do 1 of 2 things:

A) Call the girl and see what happens.

B) Get over this obsession and admit to yourself that (most lkely) 90% of what is so good about her is made up in your head.

You can't possibly like someone so much without spending time with them and getting to know them. What you're suffering from is infatuation. You'll get over it but you have to stop comparing the feelings of real world girls to this fantasy chick. If not, you're going to be dissatisfied with every girl you meet until you come back to reality.

Like that say, "What does on in Italy, stays in Italy."

...

You're definatly right about me seeing it as all 'perfect' and such. But still...

I still keep in touch with her. I talk to her all the time and we're still good friends.

As for option B, it's not an obsession. It's just that every time I get close with a girl I'm reminded of a better time with the girl from the trip. It's this goddamn thing called nostalgia. I hate it .

I've tried to get over it and such, by not thinking about it. But sometimes it's just like I can't really help it. It just pops into my head, and then I start missing her. I'm a sap, I know.

I did spend time with her and I know her. Granted, it was only about 10 days, but I still felt like I knew her well. And, again, I still talk to her.

Oh and, they say that with every place . "What goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas" "What goes on in this room, stays in this room", etc etc etc

~Mike

Haha, yeah I know, that's what the ellipsis was for.

So then what's the deal with you two? Is she attracted to you? I usually don't encourage long-distance relationships but there's nothing wrong with talking on the phone.

The more you get to know her, the more you'll be able to define what you like and what you don't. You'll be able to recognize what's soo good. Once you make these connections in your head, you'll be able to receive other girls easier. You'll recognize which features they lack and which one's they have.

If you pick it apart, it's much easier to deal with then if you look at the situation as a whole.

As far as being nostalgic, I think, by admitting to yourself that you do this, you're just helping the cycle go on and on.

To tell you the truth, it's hard to get out of a state of mind. After a while, you just wake up and that's how you think. But, if it's messing with you so much that you can't connect with other girls, than you really need to do yourself a favor and try to change it. How? I have no idea. How long it'll take.. it's up to you.

But, if you're planning on NOT have a relationship with this girl than you're better off finding someone else.

BTW, when I say "know someone" I don't mean you know how she is around you. That's just one facet of a person. Often, this is not a direct reflection of who they are as a whole. You can't judge someone on 10 days of knowing them. For instance, you don't know how she'll react in a crisis, you (most likely) don't know her parent's names and birthdays, you don't know her past and all the gamut of emotions she has developed from experience. There are so many aspects to a person that you don't see after a week, month, or year of knowing them. Stuff like that comes out with time.

I sense I'll be having the same problems getting over this girl (see my last post). I'm going to just 'be friends' with her and basically rationalize to myself that she's not all I've made her out to be.

Do you guys think that's the way to go?

PS Sorry for the hijack but that's what forums are fo.

^^^ i dont really have a suggestion since im in the same situation, but my best answer is dont have any regrets when you look back. I fucking hate that what if feeling, and you'll feel a little better than you do now if you go for what you want, but i already did that and its like its coming around again the same girl same month same feelings, but im not sure if i should go for it again since the first couple times didnt work. But one guy she said she loved well not any more so thats why everything just jumped back 3 weeks.