Now, if you remember my last 3 topics (specifically the last one, regarding my trip to this chick's house), you'll know I've been infatuated with this chick. She'd been coming onto me pretty heavily for a couple weeks, and so I decided to take the plunge: We hung out at her house for a few hours, and during that time we made out (twice, and fairly intensely both times).

Now call me old-fashioned, but it seems to me that that classifies as "coming onto someone". Now I knew she had a boyfriend (read my previous topic), but that didn't bother me, and she never mentioned it so I assumed it was A-OK.

Fast forward to today, I ask if she wants to hang out this sunday. I should have seen this coming (because I have no luck whatsoever, ever), but I didn't; I got the "we can't be anything more tha nfriends" speech.

The rub? She never mentioned that she had a boyfriend until I asked her, fairly straight out, if she wanted to go further.

Am I pissed? Yes. Do I still want to fuck her? Yes. And that's why I'm posting a new topic - what are my chances of still getting her into the sack? I am going to call her and see if I can work anything out. The other question: Can we still be friends even if I'm totally hot for her? It seems kind of iffy, but she is a cool person,and I would like to be friends with her still.

Your chances are slim to none. You were used. 0wn3d if you will. Just forget her. Trust me. Don't waste anymore time on her. You will get NO WHERE. I guarantee it.

You got what you deserved... Trying to get the chick to cheat on her boy... Then again from the sounds of it she seems like a bitch herself for even taking it that far...

NewRage, it was a team effort. If anything she's more to blame than me.

Here is the e-mail I wrote. Futile? Probably, but at least it leaves our relationship open if/when she breaks up with her current boyfriend. It's the best possible solution.

Hey-

Well, I'm not going to lie: I'm angry, and not a little bit disappointed. I don't see why, on Sunday, you didn't just tell me that you had a boyfriend. I would have understood: I would have been sad, but I would have understood. But instead, you just <i>led me on</i>, and that is why I'm angry.

Of course my reasons for disappointment should be obvious - I really do love you, and I would have loved to be with you. Unfortunately, it looks like that's not going to happen; unless, of course, you want it to, in which case just say the word. As things are now, I don't think we should hang out - don't take this the wrong way, because I really do think you would be a great <i>friendly friend</i>, I just like you too damn much.

Conclusion: If you change your mind (or get to looking for a boyfriend/'friend with benefits'), you know how to get in touch with me. If I change my mind, I know how to get in touch with you. I'd appreciate an e-mail in response, as soon as you get the chance.

Well, hmm. This is one of those things everyone has to learn for themselves, I suppose. I think you should just forget it.

What on Earth makes you think she'd treat you any better than she's treating her boyfriend? After all she's fucking around behind his back. So why would you think you're above being treated poorly?

I suspect she'll use you to the extent it suits her, and what you want is completely irrelevant to her.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

What on Earth makes you think she'd treat you any better than she's treating her boyfriend?

My thoughts exactly; if she sees someone who takes her fancy she could be making out with them whilst you're unaware. To her it's just a game and emotions are worthless. I'd be tempted to say go for it, and enjoy the sex at least, but you'll probably end up getting attached to her. You have no chance of friendship with this kind of emotional tension. Let this one go.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Well, hmm. This is one of those things everyone has to learn for themselves, I suppose. I think you should just forget it.

What on Earth makes you think she'd treat you any better than she's treating her boyfriend? After all she's fucking around behind his back. So why would you think you're above being treated poorly?

I suspect she'll use you to the extent it suits her, and what you want is completely irrelevant to her.

I should clarify: I don't care if I get used. I knew she had a boyfriend, I just assumed she was OK with being behind his back (because she never mentioned it until today). As long as I get what I want, I could really care less about how anybody else feels*, and I don't have any moral objection to "cheating".

* - This sounds very callous. Not so. If what I want is somebody to be happy, then I will do everything in my power to make them happy. This is irrelevant, but just providing some insight into my philosophy.

My friend, we've all been there. My advice - the worst thing you could do is "tell her how you feel", pursue her, write her, etc. The more you act like you want it, the more she'll stay away, and she'll just get off on having you want her so badly. Be totally indifferent, like you never were that interested, and continue visibly pursuing others. Don't act angry. If she thinks she hasn't yet done enough to hook you, then sooner or later she'll try again and you'll get where you want to be. If she found you unattractive, it never would have already gotten so far. She'll be back, but only if you act like you don't give a shit. Is this playing games? Yes. But she started it.

quote:Originally posted by cola:

Your chances are slim to none. You were used. 0wn3d if you will. Just forget her. Trust me. Don't waste anymore time on her. You will get NO WHERE. I guarantee it.

I disagree.

If she cheated on him with you, and now she doesn't want to continue- it it's obviously not because she thinks cheating is wrong, or because she loves her boyfriend. It's clearly only because she's afraid she'll get caught.

Oh, course there is the exceptional circumstance that she was going through rough spots with her guy, and now they're clearing things up…yada yada yada.

IMO, if you played your cards right, you could swoop her right out from underneath his ass. Why? I'll tell you. Because she clearly wants to be with you to some extent. Who takes the risk of cheating just for a little 1st base action? It’s gotta be more than that. But she's with this other chump for some reason besides love, obviously. Who knows, maybe she's afraid to break up with him, doesn't know how to be without him, or maybe he gives her something you can't. Figure out the reason, exploit it and she’s yours.

But I feel I need to warn you, this bitch sounds toxic. But it sounds like you know what you're getting into.

-Nocuous

quote:Originally posted by lexrex:

My friend, we've all been there. My advice - the worst thing you could do is "tell her how you feel", pursue her, write her, etc. The more you act like you want it, the more she'll stay away, and she'll just get off on having you want her so badly. Be totally indifferent, like you never were that interested, and continue visibly pursuing others. Don't act angry. If she thinks she hasn't yet done enough to hook you, then sooner or later she'll try again and you'll get where you want to be. If she found you unattractive, it never would have already gotten so far. She'll be back, but only if you act like you don't give a shit. Is this playing games? Yes. But she started it.

This is absolutewly sound advice. Shame that e-mail of yours has gone totally against it. Even if she splits with her bf and classes herself as "available", it won't be you she'll go to now, at least not for anything but to use you. She knows you'll be there for her if she needs to pick you up and help her ego, and in this way she'll see herself as being better than you, of being able to achieve a "better" partner, as you have put her on such a pedestall...



[This message has been edited by jca- (edited 06-05-2004).]

Forget her and get on with you life man !

Well I fucked up this time, but there's always other fish in the sea, huh? It's a shame I'm not such a good fisherman, and I only like rare fish.

EDIT: So after that e-mail I'm basically out of luck, right? If so, I guess I'll just call her and say we ought to just be platonic, because she's cool enough to have as a non-sexual friend. But if there's still a chance (even after I messed up everything), tell me.

[This message has been edited by deptstoremook (edited 06-05-2004).]

"Am I pissed? Yes. Do I still want to fuck her? Yes."

LOL Hurrah for teenage priorities.

Mook, forget it. Cut your losses and move on. Do it. Trust me. You know all that Kelly shit that I post that I'm sure you can't stand? It's all borne of persisting to regain what is ruined and cannot be regained. You really are best-off just stopping this before you really get hurt.

either dump her and move on or put her over your knee.(works often although could get you arrested but at least you'll have had some satisfaction!)

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Mook, forget it. Cut your losses and move on. Do it. Trust me. You know all that Kelly shit that I post that I'm sure you can't stand? It's all borne of persisting to regain what is ruined and cannot be regained. You really are best-off just stopping this before you really get hurt.

Even though you piss me off I should probably trust your judgement. Then again, I'm 16, so I'm going to use that as a license to make bad decisions. I'm not even mad anymore (I can't hold a grudge), and since I came to the conclusion that we really can't be platonic friends - too much tension, I really don't have anything to lose.

quote:Originally posted by deptstoremook:

Now, if you remember my last 3 topics (specifically the last one, regarding my trip to this chick's house), you'll know I've been infatuated with this chick. She'd been coming onto me pretty heavily for a couple weeks, and so I decided to take the plunge: We hung out at her house for a few hours, and during that time we made out (twice, and fairly intensely both times).

Now call me old-fashioned, but it seems to me that that classifies as "coming onto someone". Now I knew she had a boyfriend (read my previous topic), but that didn't bother me, and she never mentioned it so I assumed it was A-OK.

Fast forward to today, I ask if she wants to hang out this sunday. I should have seen this coming (because I have no luck whatsoever, ever), but I didn't; I got the "we can't be anything more tha nfriends" speech.

The rub? She never mentioned that she had a boyfriend until I asked her, fairly straight out, if she wanted to go further.

Am I pissed? Yes. Do I still want to fuck her? Yes. And that's why I'm posting a new topic - what are my chances of still getting her into the sack? I am going to call her and see if I can work anything out. The other question: Can we still be friends even if I'm totally hot for her? It seems kind of iffy, but she is a cool person,and I would like to be friends with her still.

now i hate to say i told you so. but didnt i give you advice to specifically avoid this situation. THats right, dont listen to my advice because SHE WAS COMING ONTO YOU, and therefore you thought you were all set. I could sit here and gloat, but im sick of giving the right advice to everyone and then have them come back to me bitching about their problems. Then when i ask if they used my advice i get a simple "uhhh...no"

now be nice and next time listen to my advice and you just might get some ass.

quote:Originally posted by deptstoremook:



Am I pissed? Yes. Do I still want to fuck her? Yes. And that's why I'm posting a new topic - what are my chances of still getting her into the sack?

owned bitch.

That happened with one of my ex's the last year of highschool. She'd pull me into empty parts of the hallway to make out with me and call me to talk about sex, but every time I got her alone she'd go so far as to start rubbing my crotch and and then get up saying 'I have to go' and leave. I realize now It was her twisted way of revenge for me dumping her. Anyway, no you can't still be friends with her, because you're horny nature will get in the way. Tell her that, and stop hanging out with her, then maybe she'll come crawling back.

Well, I talked to her in length. I'm a pretty good judge of when people are being sincere, and she sincerely feels she wasn't coming on to me in the first place, and that she ended up making out with me (twice) because she "didn't know what else to do" and was "cuaght off guard". Bullshit? Yes. But it looks like I'm out of luck anyway. No real point in posting this, but to give TOTSE some closure. I'm going to see if we can be platonic, but that will take at least a little while, and I'll post a new topic then about my success or failure.

Looks like she thought you were game until the over-emotional email scared her. Now you're too much of a minefield for a casual fling. Oh well!

ayr fuck it man

also worst thing to ever do to a chick is tell her how you feel

chicksa love the chase and when you tell them ye love them and that then they know youll always be there, no fun for it there

just steal some of her panties and have a fuckin wank

way to delete posts monk.

Not Own3d persay...more like pWn3D!!!!11(x0r1337,1234,w00t, etc.)

Okay, but seriously...let's think about this.

What you want:

-to fuck her

-to fuck her again

-to fuck her in the ass

-to fuck her

What she wants:

-who knows?

See, your goal is to find out what she wants. She may just want to tool around with you and eventually fuck you. She may want to fuck you, but feels obligated to her boyfriend. I don't know and it's impossible for me to say. You need to find out what she wants. Then you need to convince her somehow that what she also wants is to fuck you.

All our disagreements aside, mook: CUT HER OFF NOW!!

I'm fucking serious: We may have our difference, but I REALLY don't want to see you hurt like I was. It will happen to you if you persist in trying to save this shit and keep settling for less (that's what you're doing, even if you don't realize it). Please just stop it, dude...

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

All our disagreements aside, mook: CUT HER OFF NOW!!

I'm fucking serious: We may have our difference, but I REALLY don't want to see you hurt like I was. It will happen to you if you persist in trying to save this shit and keep settling for less (that's what you're doing, even if you don't realize it). Please just stop it, dude...

I know you've got sound advice (for all my flaming you I think you're an OK guy, which I just want to put on the record), but I fucking need closure. I need to know, if nothing else, why the fuck she would make out with me, twice no less, and then say we can't do anything because she has a boyfriend. Believe me I know what you're saying, but my quest for understanding takes the front seat. This is probably me just rationalizing trying to "make things work", but god damn it, if I get my heart broken, so be it, and I'll fucking like it. I've never regretted anything I've done and this will not be the first.

Update: Yes I wrote her another e-mail, basically getting down on my knees and pleading for her to tell me the reason. Pathetic? Kind of (read: definitely). But she is just too cool a person to have to break all ties with over her being vague about her motive.

For the record, I accept the fact that we won't be "getting together", but I want her as a platonic friend, which won't be able to happen until she's honest about this mess. And god damn it if it happens once, shame on her, if it happens twice, shame on me.

Edit 3: &TOTSE, thank you for listening to my drama. And a big reverse-thank-you to whiteass, who's just a jerk.

PS Infra: If you don't hate me too much, hit me up on AIM: SuperUberTek. I think we could have some interesting conversations.

[This message has been edited by deptstoremook (edited 06-06-2004).]

[This message has been edited by deptstoremook (edited 06-06-2004).]

[This message has been edited by deptstoremook (edited 06-06-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by deptstoremook:

Edit 3: &TOTSE, thank you for listening to my drama. And a big reverse-thank-you to whiteass, who's just a jerk.

deptstoremook (edited 06-06-2004).]

thank you, thank you. I wasnt prepared to give a speech, but id like to thank my mom, all the females that have helped relieve my sexual tension, my dog...but most of all my sister, for opening my eyes to the true mindset of females...



one last thing, i was nice. you posted again calling me a dumbass, or dumbfuck, or something. i wont get into detail as obviously you deleted your post for a reason after you read my reply, next time when you insult me, check yourself first.

You're being a sap, mook.

Seriously. I'm not saying that to be a dick. I know, because I was doing the same shit with Kelly; I'd give up and let her walk on me, then try to tell myself it's a "reasonable compromise", or shit like "sometimes you have to swallow your pride". It'd work on an acute level, but I was never left 100% content with my choice. Now I know why. But this shit ain't about me - it's about you, the mook.

Does one compromise, and just go ahead and do the dishes the way she wants you to, rather than the practical/manly/quick/whatever way? Yes. Do you sacrifice your integrity and beg, plead, cry or whine? No. FUCK no. Well slap some wax on that unfortunate man; he's just a floor for her to walk on.

I'm not asking you to bow down to my will, or some shit - I'm relating experience as it's happened to me and a couple others I've known, and I'm seeing patterns in this identical to those mentioned. Marsellus Wallace may say "FUCK pride", but he ended up getting an assraping. Do you see my point?

Good luck. Don't lose yourself. I'll shut the fuck up now and leave it up to you; just give my words some consideration, because I don't dislike you at all, I just like slapping you back when you flame me, but that's about it. But none of that now, this is real.

Take care.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

You're being a sap, mook.

Does one compromise, and just go ahead and do the dishes the way she wants you to, rather than the practical/manly/quick/whatever way? Yes.Take care.

no. god no. why? give me one reason i should do the dishes the way SHE wants me to do them. If theyre my dishes, im doing them the way i want to do them. If theyre her dishes, she can do them if she wants them done a specific way. I used to do shit like that to please women. Now i make it clear that if they ask me to do something, im doing it my way, if they dont like my way, they can do it themselves. Either way the jobs going to get done and the end result is going to be the same, who gives a fuck about what happens in the middle?

quote:I'm not asking you to bow down to my will, or some shit - I'm relating experience as it's happened to me and a couple others I've known, and I'm seeing patterns in this identical to those mentioned. Marsellus Wallace may say "FUCK pride", but he ended up getting an assraping. Do you see my point?

Congrats on the pulp fiction reference (it's my favorite movie so you get brownie points). I definitely see what you're saying, and I've decided to just drop it and be friends with her (which she's been offering from the start of this whole little issue). Yes, it's a compromise, but she has other friends, if you know what I mean?

whiteass, you're a fucking mysogynist, and that's why I don't like you at all. I guess chivalry is old-fashioned, right? Hell not even chivalry, I guess respecting women is old-fashioned. Guys like you really make me sick, you know that?

quote:Originally posted by deptstoremook:

Congrats on the pulp fiction reference (it's my favorite movie so you get brownie points). I definitely see what you're saying, and I've decided to just drop it and be friends with her (which she's been offering from the start of this whole little issue). Yes, it's a compromise, but she has other friends, if you know what I mean?

whiteass, you're a fucking mysogynist, and that's why I don't like you at all. I guess chivalry is old-fashioned, right? Hell not even chivalry, I guess respecting women is old-fashioned. Guys like you really make me sick, you know that?

explain to me how i dont respect women? i respect the women that show to me they deserve my respect. Im not going to go out and respect any female i walk past. My respect costs alot and if they earn it, they dont get it. And would i still do the dishes they way they wanted me too even if i respect them? no. there is no point in changing my values and practices. for anyone.

BTW its misogynist, and it means one who hates women. I love women, i dont hate them. Try to sound smart? use a dictionary first.

quote:Originally posted by deptstoremook:

whiteass, you're a fucking mysogynist, and that's why I don't like you at all. I guess chivalry is old-fashioned, right? Hell not even chivalry, I guess respecting women is old-fashioned. Guys like you really make me sick, you know that?

*misogynist.

And, he will always do better with women than you it seems. I am not saying to go about things just like he suggests, but to an extent, he's dead right.

"Nice guys finish last," "treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen," both phrases are very relevant to the majority of relationships. If you have a nice girl desperate for you, although it can seem good at first it WILL dampen your enthusiasm later. You WILL begin to believe she isn't good enough for you, purely by the fact she acts like it. Alternatively, if the same girl was a little more unattainable and acted as more of an equal or superior to you, she instantly becomes a lot more desirable.

If you want to screw her then quit whining to her about being angry and whatnot. Just agree to "just being friends" and just pick up where you left off, with the making out. Of course that would only further complicate your life and would inevitably only make more trouble for you; but who are you going to listen to, me (and just about everyone else that posted in this thread) or your hormones? I think that we all know the answer to that one.