Me and my girl have been going out for 6 months and things have been good. But in the past month she's been on drugs again (she's an Ex user) she used to take heroin and basically anything else she could get her hands on. She's been poppin shit loads of valium in the past week (about 15 a day) I want to help her but she doesn't want help I can't be fucked dating a junky I am giving her till tonight to admit her problem and ask for help or else its over. Do you think I am going about this the right way? Any advice will be appreciated.

You have to help her. If you leave her, on her own, she will become worse off than she is now. Whether she likes it or not, do her a favour, for her, and take her shit away, keep her clean - she will thank you once the first wave of rage is over. Save her, or you will become just as bad as she is.

ModelFifteen

or she'll be so caught up in her own bullshit, she'll hate you for "trying to run her life". tell her to knock the shit off, make her look in the mirror when she goes off on one of her rants about "it's my life" and make her realize what a waste of space she is (in a loving way, ha). then push her out the window and bang her sister.

ok, parts of that were honest advice...i'm bored.

I suppose the only right thing to do is to help her. She's going to need some tough love on this one. I don't really have any experience in this area, but I do know that you giving her an ultimatum like that is going to ruin your relationship. Forget the pick-and-choose method and actually work with her. You know, like you are in a relationship.

Helping her might be the 'right' thing to do...but... I'm a cold hearted bitter person.

I say leave her. She made her choice, right? As an ex-user she can't say she didn't know what the affects were going to be. And no one had a screw-driver to her neck.

Besides, you can't help those who don't want to be helped.

quote:Originally posted by nocuous:

Besides, you can't help those who don't want to be helped.

Very true. I would still try and help though.....

She must have/still meant somthing to you........

Just be like, "hey i wanna try it once", than when she gets her stash out fuckin take it and flush it, OR take it and sell it later. This would keep her clean AND give you money...(whoever said you cant profit from others misfortune)

So, you a pro? Must make a pretty good coin. I thought pros weren't supposed to become all

romantically involved with clients? OH? Just

friends? Why are you doing pro's work?

Lovers aren't supposed to do shrink work? Or are they? Gonna save her...hahahahahahah hah!

to be frank the only way you can help her is to lock her up and force her to go cold turkey.

however that is illegal most places.



it is possible to have a good relationship with a junkie but you must be prepared to supply her then she won't need to sell herself etc,which is expensive and risky as it is illegal to supply someone with drugs even with the best of motives.

i met a man in holland not so long ago who was there to buy smack for his g/f and he told me a little about what they had been through .made my heart ache to see him doing whatever it took to keep her supplied and 'sane'.

If you help her, and get her off drugs, you will very likely have another blissful 6 months before she goes back into it again.

People who have a tendency to deliberate self destruction are so impossible to love. You can't help loving them, but it hurts too much. I say do what you can, then get out while you still can.



[This message has been edited by Tabiba (edited 06-02-2004).]

tabiba has a very valid point.just getting her clean is just the start.

Dump her. Dump her now.

~You may THINK you can change her or keep her off the drugs, but you cant, you really cant.

In the end, you either end up going insane from so much stress and pain, or you follow the person onto drugs and end up just as fucked as they are.

No one can change unless they themselves want to. No matter what you would do, if she doesn't want to change, she won't. You tell her everything that you think, not what you think she wants to hear. If its important enough to you, you will hopefully make it important enough to her. But just know, once your an addict, your always an addict. Good luck.

I think you're going in the direction of doing the right thing. Essentally, you need to decide whether you want an addict for a girlfriend, and be prepared for the concomitant drama.

The only way you can "help" someone and have any hope of continuing a meaningful relationship is if she takes responsibility for her habit and dedicates herself to ridding herself of it for her own good. Not for you, not for her family, and not to avoid jail time.

If she denies a problem, or makes vague remarks about quitting, I'd side with those who already suggested "get out now".

quote:Originally posted by proofisoutthere:

...I am giving her till tonight to admit her problem and ask for help or else its over. Do you think I am going about this the right way?

Sounds logical, I agree with your plan of action.

Don't try to force her to stop, you will seem controlling. Instead, try to coax her to WANT to stop. (preferably for her own sake)

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

So, you a pro? Must make a pretty good coin. I thought pros weren't supposed to become all

romantically involved with clients? OH? Just

friends? Why are you doing pro's work?

Lovers aren't supposed to do shrink work? Or are they? Gonna save her...hahahahahahah hah!

Wow...I'm stoned. Dude, if someone could interpret that it might a halfway comprehensible post.

youll never get her to quit, not completely and trying to stop her will just make her hate you and ruin whatever friendship you have, get rid of her, dump her an move on a quick as you can cos shes not the same person you fell for

Dump her ass, not because of taking drugs though. But because bitches that use drugs like that normally take them because they have some fucked up psychological issues, you don't wanna be dealing with that mate.

Thodomize gyood, then leave.

My girlfriend had heroin forced on her until she was addicted before, but she's been clean the entire 2 months I've been with her (I knew her well before that though). I'm really proud of her. All you can do is give her support, if she really WANTS to quit. If not, then tell her that you can't be involved, that you can't share her attention with drugs.

if there´s one thing I can tell you, don´t you ever dare to think that it´s your fault ...