So I was talking to this girl. We were becoming to be close. It pretty much seemed like we were together as a couple. But a while ago she had told me that she made out with this other guy. She said that she feels really bad about what she did and that the only reason she did was because she wasn't sure what to think of us. She really liked/likes me but didn't think I liked her the same way. Now I am in the obstacle of deciding whether I still want to go on with this relationship or just blow things off.

What are your opinions? Please, serious posts.

just tell her the truth, best way to go.

let her know that you have doubts of her purity and are going to need a sample of her blood to give to your demon for testing and possible cleansing of her soiled soul

^^^lol

but seriously - make your mind up do you want her/love her or not? if you do want her still then forgive her and forget it.if you think she's sullied then go look for your princess.

I think you both should sit down and tell each other exactly how you guys feel and then you two can have a mutual agreement amoungst yourselves. Threre's really only two possibilitys here you decide you want to just be friends or you want to be more then friends. Done and Over No Worry's and you really can't fuck it up its practactlay fool proof.

I have been telling her what I think. I've told her that I'm not to sure if I could trust her. As much as I would like to, I think I would still have this little incident in the back of my head. I've told her that I do want to be with her, but not sure if that is a wise thing to do. All I'll be hurting is myself. This situation does really bother me. But at the same time, I do realize that we were not technically boyfriend/girlfriend. This can't really be considered cheating. She did say that if we were together, oficially, that she wouldn't have done anything. I don't know... is it wrong to kiss someone other than the person your actually seeing? is it still considered cheating...? or are their different "guidelines" to this.. wow.. so confused. =/...

You can't blame her for what she did. She wasn't breaking any 'rules' because as far as she knew you were off with some other girl doing the same thing.

But that fact that what she did hurt you is a pretty good indication that you have serious feelings for this girl.

I know you're paranoid that she'll hurt you but does that really seem like something she would do? Don't judge by her past actions, judge by her character and you'll find your answer.

I firmly agree, Has she told you how she feels? if not plan on asking, otherwise you're trying to figure out something very blindly.

Yes, she has told me how she feels. She says that she really likes me and that she is very sorry about what she has done. But whatever I decide is my choice but would really like to be with me...

Okay thats good news, Do you want to be with her?

everyone is allowed the odd stupidity spasm so just forgive her and try to make it work

Well if I were you right now... considering the problems I have been having with my girl, and the very very bad ending we had to a year long relationship, I would probably want to slit her throat... but hey, thats just me.

I don't suggest that idea though. Just go with the flow and let things work themselves out. Tell her how you feel and leave the rest up to her.

quote:Originally posted by nocuous:

You can't blame her for what she did. She wasn't breaking any 'rules' because as far as she knew you were off with some other girl doing the same thing.



Precisely. You need to let go of that. She's not obliged to "save herself" in case there's a possibility of getting together with you.

To be blunt, you're dithering. Relationships aren't based on assumptions. Declare what you want.

Cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it already. Stop living in the past its a waste of time.

hey, if you didnt officially ask her out, then you weren't going out. if your'e just 'seeing' each other, then you're allowed to see other people. you should have asked her out if you were that close. forgive her, ask her out, move on.

quote:Originally posted by henteichicken:

^^^lol

but seriously - make your mind up do you want her/love her or not? if you do want her still then forgive her and forget it.if you think she's sullied then go look for your princess.



this coming from a woman who doesnt think 2 girls fucking is cheating.

i agree on one thing: if you didnt make it official, you cant say much. however, if she was really into you, she wouldnt have did this. so, i say dump her ass off and move on. she either doesnt like you too much, or shes fucked up. either way, get the hell out while you can.

no thats bullshit. sure she had no obligation to you, but the fact is that it was implied. If she really liked you, she wouldnt have made out with the other guy. I had this girl that i never dated, she asked me out a good 3-4 times a week for 4 months. Told me she loved me all the time, and kept saying shit like "we would make the best couple" or "everyone thinks we should be going out". She never fucked anyone else, and she knew that i was probablly fucking other people. But she stayed faithful to me, why? Because she really liked me.

she made out with another guy even though she really liked you? thats complete bullshit. Whats going to stop her next time, one single sentece you muttered saying you were going out? What you need to do is tell her, thats fine we werent going out. But say i dont know if i can fully trust you. If you dont do what i tell you, i dont give a fuck really. Just dont come on totse in a few months bitching about how your girl sucked off some black hairy guy named bubba while you were watching cartoons drinking milk.

I've been in this situation, but seriously dude, if she isn't saying something like "I don't want to move too fast or fall too hard" or something along those lines and she sounds genuine when saying she wants to be with you...forget about the other guy she made out with, she chose you over him thus making you more important to her. Go for it, take the chance at happiness and if she cheats, blame me and dump her ass fast because what you both feel for each other will become an illusion if you try to work it out.

P.S. Blame me cuz I said go for it, not cuz I plan on sabotaging in anyway...just to let you know...

[This message has been edited by Blaydes (edited 06-03-2004).]

Yes, thats what I thought it was, that it was implied. At least to me it was implied. According to her, she was doubting whether I liked her. I did tell her that I'm not sure whether or not I can trust her. But how she acted and how she reacted to me saying that "maybe we should just be friends" type thing really seemed to sadden her. I think I'm just going to ride things out with her.. hoping for the best. If something happens again, its my fault for the pain I will endure... which I hope will never come.

Well all I can say is try if it doesn't work then blame us and don't dwell on the fact that it didn't. Oh and try to stay friends if its possible. Don't go jumping straight into a relationship right now wait untill you're over the fact that she kissed a guy, if you do jump before hand count on things not working out between the two of you even as friends.

Well we have been friends for quite awhile. Does that make a difference?



No, I won't blame any one else but myself, since I did make the decision to see if it will work out. I mean, we both get along great, no problems, just her little f*ck ups... =/ heh.

That might make a difference a good one at that, you know that you are friends now and if all goes well you get together possibly brake up, if that happens you will more than likely stay friends it might take awhile though.

email me D20J16@ziplip.com if you want more advice

Do you have AIM or MSN Messenger?

become swingers: problem solved

If your talking to me I have AIM messenger D21J18@aol.com Feel free to talk to me if Im online or if you want to go through email. Which ever one you choose is cool with me.

Allmylove, I haven't heard a word from you, I take it you don't need any more advise, if thats not the case and you do need some more advice you know where to find me.