Okay, the other night, my girlfriend and I tried to have sex. I say try because, though we were both naked and I was equiped for war with my condom...the battle never took place...I couldn't get it in! When I went downtown with my finger to investigate...I found that only one finger could fit in..much to small for what I was packin. So what do I do about this? How can we have sex? By the way..she's a virgin.

ahh, did u even prime her up?

i mean i dont have expert anatomy knowledge but a chick can stretch pretty good u kno,bigger than wat ur packin i tell ya, spend a nice half an hour or so just gettin ya face stuck down there.

Benny,

you sure your finger found the right hole?

Maybe she was just tense.

I know that when me and my ex were about to do it and she tensed up, my cock wouldn't go in.

When it did go in, it would fucking hurt...It ripped my foreskin once...That was a bad experience I can tell you!

You have to loosen her up.

Foreplay...Relaxing settings...Assurance that she's gonna be okay...That sorta thing.

Give 'er a couple of beers beforehand. I'm sure that'll loosen her up.

Seriously though, just go down on her. Give her an orgasm, and then give it a shot. Giveth and you shall receiveth.

She'll have to put up with the pain at some point. It's actually not that bad, and from what I've gathered from other girls mine was unusually painful. Use a little lube, stick a few fingers up there first, and a few shots of tequila couldn't hurt. If all else fails, just shove it in there.

CANT YOU SEE HES LIEING!THERE IS NO FEMALE LEFT THAT IS THAT TIGHT!NONE WHATSOEVER!!!sorry it sounded funny!

quote:Originally posted by HollisterRobber:

Okay, the other night, my girlfriend and I tried to have sex. I say try because, though we were both naked and I was equiped for war with my condom...the battle never took place...I couldn't get it in! When I went downtown with my finger to investigate...I found that only one finger could fit in..much to small for what I was packin. So what do I do about this? How can we have sex? By the way..she's a virgin.

Well..that happens when you try to fuck an 8 year old...

quote:Giveth and you shall receiveth

amen

do i hear a hallelujah?

hallelujah

These threads seem like trolls, I mean the guy posts once then never checks his own thread, it's just us rambling.

well, that's totse for ya

quote:Originally posted by psycho_8b:



...It ripped my foreskin once...



holy shit man :S

quote:Originally posted by -Renegade-:

Well..that happens when you try to fuck an 8 year old...

HA HA HA, sick but funny !

quote:Originally posted by -Renegade-:

Well..that happens when you try to fuck an 8 year old...

Yeh, it sucks, doesn't it?

quote:Originally posted by psycho_8b:

Maybe she was just tense.

I know that when me and my ex were about to do it and she tensed up, my cock wouldn't go in.

When it did go in, it would fucking hurt...It ripped my foreskin once...That was a bad experience I can tell you!

You have to loosen her up.

Foreplay...Relaxing settings...Assurance that she's gonna be okay...That sorta thing.

I myself am currently going through a case of the foreskin nasties... got a sore on top and a sore inside > . There was a point in time a few hours after the encounter when I couldn't even walk... every time my junk hit my boxers it'd almost cripple me... just thought I'd let you all know, and shout out a "BE CAREFUL!" to all us fully in-tact men. Now I just hope I heal up better by this weekend or I'm going to be upset :/

quote:Originally posted by JDOGGYDOGG:

CANT YOU SEE HES LIEING!THERE IS NO FEMALE LEFT THAT IS THAT TIGHT!NONE WHATSOEVER!!!sorry it sounded funny!

You're forgiven, just don't do it again.

quote:Girlfriend too tight...HELP!

for a minute I thought he gonna ask us all to give her the once over and run her in for him. :-(

*shudders at the thought of all the foreskin inuuries* I mean fuck man, I'm a girl and that just sounds painfull..

Worst vaginal pain I've had yet was, a small incounter with using icy hot as lube, and getting shot with a pellet gun and the pellet managed to hit RIGHT where my clit was.

Heh, I got shot in the crotch with an unexploded painball.... twice. Beat that! *realises that by being a winner he is really the loser* Oh...

quote:Originally posted by Otismo:

I myself am currently going through a case of the foreskin nasties... got a sore on top and a sore inside > . There was a point in time a few hours after the encounter when I couldn't even walk... every time my junk hit my boxers it'd almost cripple me... just thought I'd let you all know, and shout out a "BE CAREFUL!" to all us fully in-tact men. Now I just hope I heal up better by this weekend or I'm going to be upset :/

I'm in the same boat my friend. Getting out of my car and walking 20 feet into my house brought me to the verge of tears.

About a month ago, i was playin paintball, and i got out and was walkin off the field putting my barrel plug in when i jolted the gun by accident. My gun is electric, and the safety was off, so as i jolted the gun, my pinky slid over the barrel. As that happened, 3 paintballs shout out on their own at 300 feet per second point blank into my pinky. I had internal and external bleeding and i couldnt bend my finger for a week... it sucked.

...........

For the first time, I didn't read the whole thread; just the first post. All I can say is, if you were BETTER, and got her hotter, she'd open up a little!! I'm not gonna tell you how; you gotta learn on your own. Just listen to her, or when you're not fucking, even, ask her about her fantasies and such. Be direct, if you can, or prod around a little. Me, I'm a master of gathering sexual secrets from women by listening closely and reading between the lines of benign conversation, but I'm also likely a decade older than you and I've had time to practice. You'll learn, man; just focus on one thing at a time, communicate, and maybe do a little reading: Female anatomy, from both scientific and experiental standpoints, women's magazines (a GUIDE, not a bible), etc. Asking is a good starting point too, so do that more (and elsewhere than Totse) as well. Ask chick friends, if you have them, or ask guy friends who have reputations for being studs in bed, but only if you can't find a chick.

That is, if the problem is merely nervousness and inadequate arousal on her part. If she's one of the rare Vaginismus cases (Google it), see a gyno. If she's JUST PLAIN TIGHT, even when she's a waterfall down there and obviously wanting it, then get your face down in the mud, soldier!! That is, cunnilingus. Looser her up with the tongue. Use fingers (start with one, add another when/if you can, etc), or small (SANITARY, BLUNT!!) objects. Also, encourage her to masturbate. Hell, ask her to do it in front of you. This can help get her a little more supple down there over time.

If there's STILL a problem, you're SOL. If you two are the daring type, just FORCE that divining rod in there and see how it feels for you both (WITH HER CONSENT).

If it's because you have too monstrously-huge/thick a cock, I both pity and envy you. Mine may be big, but it's not so big that it's TOO big to be of use.

Have fun, be safe, good lucky in your forays.

-Infrared

quote:Originally posted by Ms. Death:

*shudders at the thought of all the foreskin inuuries* I mean fuck man, I'm a girl and that just sounds painfull..

Worst vaginal pain I've had yet was, a small incounter with using icy hot as lube, and getting shot with a pellet gun and the pellet managed to hit RIGHT where my clit was.

And, why was someone shooting at your clit???

or do i want to know?

A better question is "Why the fuck would you let someone shoot you with anything?"

But I deign to answer; I've let someone shoot me with a .22 when I had a bulletproof vest on, and another person crack me with an ASP baton....

The ASP hurt much worse.

quote:Originally posted by Rico:

Heh, I got shot in the crotch with an unexploded painball.... twice. Beat that! *realises that by being a winner he is really the loser* Oh...

I can beat that:

One time i was in the batting cages (mind you these used MLB regulation baseballs) and had it set on about 80, it hit me square in the balls. NO CUP! after the initial impact i fell straight back and caught myself on the rear wall. IMPACT #2! #3! fell down, flat. 4! 5! 6! thats right, hit 6 fucking time w/ a regulation MLB baseball goin 80+ in the nads.

I could not walk for a week, one was so swollen i could not find the other of 3 days. its a miracle they are both still funtcional. and yes, blinding pain IS blinding. i though some one was beating at my crotch with a sledge hammer cuz i couldnt see!

You my friend, are a motherfucking moron.

Jaguarstrike, god man, I'm so sorry, but I laughed my fucking ass off when I read that. I'm glad there's no permanent damage, but DAMN DUDE!!!

LMFAO... I bet you wear a cup next time.



Oh god... I can't stop laughing. Ah hah!!!

hey jag maybe you should take up a nice,safe sport like full contakt karate or cave-diving?

quote:Originally posted by Jaguarstrike:

I can beat that:

One time i was in the batting cages (mind you these used MLB regulation baseballs) and had it set on about 80, it hit me square in the balls. NO CUP! after the initial impact i fell straight back and caught myself on the rear wall. IMPACT #2! #3! fell down, flat. 4! 5! 6! thats right, hit 6 fucking time w/ a regulation MLB baseball goin 80+ in the nads.

I could not walk for a week, one was so swollen i could not find the other of 3 days. its a miracle they are both still funtcional. and yes, blinding pain IS blinding. i though some one was beating at my crotch with a sledge hammer cuz i couldnt see!

Your kids are fucked.