Alright, I just moved from washington to colorado about 3 months ago with a friend. Needless to say me and that friend stopped getting along so now I'm living with another one of my friends and he just out of the blue said he has fallen in love with me. Problem is I'm not in love with him. Need some advice or Do's/Don'ts remember I don't want to hurt the guy badly.

throw him in the friend zone..it is all you can do till you find your own place

A touchy subject. How the hell are you supposed to break this down to him? Well I'm not qualified to answer fully, but my advice is definitely to say it plainly and clearly to him: you can only see him as a friend. If he persists say that you're not attracted to him, blah. If he gets pissy and stops talking to you, big deal - he was only in it for the pussy. If he accepts it, mission complete.

Thats what I thought I should do, but there is a big complication to this whole thing. Which is the friend that I'm not getting along with is best friends with the one I am living with. I have no job and I make money on the side doing Chainmaille but thats it. When life starts to suck get a helmet. I'm really thinking that I'm going to go back to washington and I know that this guy is probably going to follow. He just won't leave it be. He hasn't done anything horribly stupid asked me to be his g/f friend or anything so I guess that it's alright so long that he doesn't, and he doesn't dare to say I love you to me. So I guess in a certain light all is well

i've gotta agree with rico on this one. you may have to be cruel to be kind though but whatever it needs clear words from you.

okay, you need to do something to lead him on like kiss him or have sex with him.. then act real weird for like a week and tell him you just want to be friends

I like alot of your ideas but I'm looking for something a little more original. This guy is a complete genius and if I use anything simple he's liable to figure out that i'm lying about the whole thing, or think that I am lying when I am being quite serious and truthful. This is to damn complicated.

I did something similar to that guy w/ a girl who is a great friend of mine. We had been very good friends for about half a year, at which i realized that i had a crush on her. I eventually told her, and she told me how she felt. I continued to like her, and she was ok w/ that, but as time went on, i was able to get over her. We are now extremely good friends and we help each other with everything... which includes me helping her w/ guy problems, my favorite(note the sarcasm). The reason being is the i love her as a friend and i hate having some1 else get in between us.

Try telling him how you feel, but accept how he feels. This girl never once hurt me by the way she went about it, and we are still friends.

[This message has been edited by STORMofDEATH (edited 06-03-2004).]

I think I will try that...Don't know what I am going to say, any advice

Just be really cool about it. Walk up to him while hes watching tv and start chatting. Then start getting into it. Tell him that you respect his feelings, but that you don't feel the same way. Tell him that hes a great friend of yours(when girls give a guy the "best friend thing" it usually means they arent gonna get anything). Tell him you don't have any hard feelings for him at all. Just tell him that its not what you want. If he cant understand that, then hes one hell of a dumbass. If it works well, he should be happy that you care about him, even if he is upset. He will probably be down for a lil while, but keep treating him like hes your best friend, and he will soon be feeling better as well as being over you.

I'm going back to washington and he's following, I will tell him what you said only in my words of course but I'm sure he'll still follow me.

Tell him that it was extremely flattering, but you have never seen him like that, tell him he is the one and only guy that you can really confide in and is really great for helping you out so much. Tell him that you have a lot of strong feelings for him but being in love is not one of them and you should come back to Washington...its nice here

Mind if I ask what the for the result? Im curious to see if my idea worked. Its cool if you would rather not share though.

Stormofdeath your plan worked, But he's still moving to washington with me, he wants to take care of me, live with me, put food in my stomach, why, cause he's in love with me. I can't stop him from moving out there should I just wait and move with him or do you think I should go out there on my own and see if he follows.

Blaydes, what part of washington are you in? I used to hangout in Lynnwood, mill creek, everett, arlington area. I have so many friends there, and I'm going back I can hardly wait.

Im glad I could help you. I think the choice on whether you want to move with your friend, or move and see if he follows is up to you. Theres nothing wrong with him loving you as long as he understands the situation. You do what your most comfortable with. Remember, this is your life, not his.

[This message has been edited by STORMofDEATH (edited 06-04-2004).]

Ya, Without him going I have no place to go out there so it definitly helps me out and I will never be able to repay him for what he is doing and what ever he may do in the future. So in the end its a good thing.

quote:Originally posted by Wikkit:

Thats what I thought I should do, but there is a big complication to this whole thing. Which is the friend that I'm not getting along with is best friends with the one I am living with. I have no job and I make money on the side doing Chainmaille but thats it. When life starts to suck get a helmet. I'm really thinking that I'm going to go back to washington and I know that this guy is probably going to follow. He just won't leave it be. He hasn't done anything horribly stupid asked me to be his g/f friend or anything so I guess that it's alright so long that he doesn't, and he doesn't dare to say I love you to me. So I guess in a certain light all is well



So your using him? NO comment.

Not using I could go out to washington by myself but there really isn't a good reason to do that when he's coming out there anyways why not just go together. I am not a gold digger alright i never use my friends for anything. He wants to move out there, how is that using him. I could have a job and probably live with my mother until I had enough for an appartment of my own and that is exactly how it would be. But my friend wants to go out there, things worked out for me what is the big fucking deal.

What else would I use him for, Chris the guy I moved out here with in the first place were getting along great. I just live with Chris's bestfriend but thats because me and Chris don't get along when we live together, is there any problems here.

quote:Originally posted by SARDONICPILLOW:

okay, you need to do something to lead him on like kiss him or have sex with him.. then act real weird for like a week and tell him you just want to be friends

Lol. You are evil.

Although...doesn't sound like too bad of a plan. He'll be profusely confused and probably just give up on the whole notion.

[This message has been edited by Little Pea (edited 06-04-2004).]

Perhaps ask him to ride on the same car as you, but as he's about to walk in slam the door in his face and drive off. Make sure he chokes on the exhaust fumes as you do it

But seriously I think that if you don't want to be clear about it, you are just keeping his hopes up... sure he'll get the message eventually, but he'll have wasted a lot of time trying it on with you instead of other girls. If he decides to be cocky and think you're lying, then at least you have made your feelings clear, and the problem lies at his end.

I dont think I'm going to do that to a extremely good friend of mine. I still want him to be friends with me and I really don't want him as an enemy. I know that you guys can give better advice then that.

As a man, the advice I would give to you is DON'T start thinking 'I don't want to hurt his feelings'. That will only make things worse. You need to be firm. Don't just say nothing and give mixed signals and then wonder when he's standing there with his cock out.

You maybe right

Tell him you love him like a brother. Pretty much every guy should know what that means...

The brother friendship... what every guy hates to hear from a girl he loves. For all of you who dont know, its an automatic "your not getting any".

Yeah, I think that friends with benifits would help my situation here in fact it would make it alot worse. It's going to hurt him badly but if that is what its going to take then so be it.

take control over him do some nasty shit to him, stick stuff up his ass make him toss your salade, fuck him and say your about to cum and piss all over the poor guys face!!!

Thats harsh dude. no fucking way will i ever do something like that to anyone.

quote:Originally posted by Wikkit:

Yeah, I think that friends with benifits would help my situation here in fact it would make it alot worse. It's going to hurt him badly but if that is what its going to take then so be it.

being friend with benefits is not what you want to do. Hes already in love with you without having sex with you, think about how he will be after he has. Then think about how hes going to feel when he realizes you dont feel the same way. Clear out all the razors and shoe laces from his room.

Yea... be friends and friends only. Thats the best way to stay away from problems. Tell him hes liek a brother to you, and you cant thank enough for what hes doing for you, but dont let it go further then that.

Thats what I meant sorry about not being clear on that. I meant telling him he is like a brother to me. I apologize.

make him think ur a slut so he will dislike u

i.e brag about how u've fucked 75% of the boys in class and half of the administration

No thanks, I'll pass on that one, thank you for your input though