I was in my chair..the door is about 3 feet behind me..but to my right. I was jacking off, hear my door..turn around and my mom is standing there in the crack..and started closing it. I sat up to hide my dick and said "Mom?"..she continued to close it. I think I'm never leaving my room again in shame.

How do I cope with this? I'm for sure never making eye contact again.

Why were you jacking off Jesus??

I feel bad for you..

LOl.. get a lock man.. or unscrew your doornoob (lol) and itlly be a bitch to open the door...

It's happend to me.

She won't say anything to you.

Wrong forum by the way.

Ya.. she, will be like nothing happened...

It's alright man, I'm pretty sure your mom masturbates too!

Now leave a puddle of cum on the floor... in the hallway and you get a e-cookie

I read a similar story in S&A a few months ago. Some person had just gotten out of the shower and decided to go at it. What he failed to see was his mother lying on his bed behind him. She pretended to be asleep in order to avoid him being embarassed. It didn't seem to work too well.

Confront her about it.

Be like "If you have the balls to open my closed door, you better have to balls to help me finish when you find me beating off"

tell her u were given er a trim

I renember that!

Give her a high five!

She'll scream in terror and will probally hit you..., thats what my mom did.

Then she'll look at her hand and'll be like "YOU ASSHOLE!"

quote:Originally posted by ImCoolAndAwesome:

Give her a high five!

She'll scream in terror and will probally hit you..., thats what my mom did.

Then she'll look at her hand and'll be like "YOU ASSHOLE!"



Or use it as hair gel.

quote:Originally posted by RabidGeneral:

Confront her about it.

Be like "If you have the balls to open my closed door, you better have to balls to help me finish when you find me beating off"

Yes! Incest is the best put your mother to the test! I mean, she's gotta be good at SOMETHING, they got you into this world didn't they?

quote:Originally posted by UndefinedMinded:

It's alright man, I'm pretty sure your mom masturbates too!



Exactly

quote:Originally posted by RabidGeneral:

Confront her about it.

Be like "If you have the balls to open my closed door, you better have to balls to help me finish when you find me beating off"

Lol.

quote:Originally posted by Zok:

I read a similar story in S&A a few months ago.

Thank you Zok. =)

Moving to S&A.

Just be cool about it and say something like "next time, I'd appreciate a knock first." and thats all you need to say.

Print out a sign saying "Warning, I might be masturbating if the door is closed!".

Yeh, this has happened to me more than once. It's rather annoying. Just look at her, smile, wave, and tell her to leave.

quote:Originally posted by RabidGeneral:

Confront her about it.

Be like "If you have the balls to open my closed door, you better have to balls to help me finish when you find me beating off"

lmao thats fucking awesome.

..so did you ever finish jacking off or not?

Ahahah... Wanker. .

Close your door next time, kid.

My door was closed! Only my lock is broken, and I have no door knobs..you just have to push the door to open it. I couldve sworn she was in bed. And no..I never finished jacking off. I was limp 2 seconds after I figured out she caught me.

Ask her to knock first...tell her you enjoy maturbating & its important for you to be able to do it undisturbed...

And tell her beforehand that you're gunna jack off so she knows not to disturb you...

What's even more interesting than her finding you doing it, is you coming here right after it happened to tell us about it!

Godamn!

I think you're supposed to hang a tie on the doorknob or something....

Tie on the door!? I'm sure my mum can decipher that shit. It so obviously means that I'm having a wank!

tell her that its your job. your donating to sperm banks and she should support your career.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaahhaahahahhaahhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahhahaahahahhahahhaha haaaaaaaaaaahahaahaaaaaaaaaaah ahahaahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhaaa aaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaa

She already is fully aware of your burgeoning sexuality, and was probably thinking about it long before you started wanking, and was probably briefly embarrassed for both of you. Parents do this. Parents know the subtle changes in your behavior, with more time spent behind closed doors as you enter adolescence.

Nothing needs to be said. Consider keeping your door ajar when you don't mind being disturbed, and close it when you do. Only very clueless or disrespectful parents won't get the message, and in that case you have bigger problems.

Next time say "Do you see something you like...?" and trail it of. That'd make good dinner conversation.

quote:Originally posted by Discipulus:

What's even more interesting than her finding you doing it, is you coming here right after it happened to tell us about it!

No that's not even more interesting, as he stated he didn't want to leave his room. If you want to play smart, it helps to be smart; or in your case actually read the text you're about to comment on properly.

quote:Originally posted by mizled:

Why were you jacking off Jesus??

laughed for 5 minutes at that one

jajhahahahahahahah1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

STEP out of your room, let your mom see you and then notice any facial expressions, then just go kill yourself

I don't blame him for posting this....

It never happened to me, but its been close.... I hate telling this story and this is like the 15th time i type it out, but i was in my room and i started beating off to a porn on tv---i was hard mind you, and i got up to lock the door [message from god....nobody STOPS beating off to lock a door], and with my pants half down i reached for the turny-locky-thing and the doornob turned, i jumped infront of the door to prevent anyone from seeing the screen of the tv, my mom was just like you should get to bed.... so i was just like okay (full of adrenaline, and limp).

She closed the door and i waited like 15 minutes to erase the thought from my short-term memory and then locked the door to finish what had been interrupted.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Lock the god damn door.

She knocks everytime she feels the need to come in my room now, I find that hilarious.

Well now you dont have to worry about cum stains...leave them for your mom to clean up...

Just look her in the eye at all times...It will be funny!

As long as you don't live in victorian times, you should just have to suffer through a few weeks of discomfort. Otherwise, you'll get a chastity belt that you can't take off until marriage.

Back then, they regarded it as evil and stuff. It would suck to live then.

HA HA HA HA Oh my Freakin god this is funny.....HA HA HA HA .......

HA HA HA

Best thread I've read in ages!

I haven't been caught yet...

Yeah, Cindy, my "problem" indeed got bigger as I entered adolescence...I got very good at beating it down, though.

Seriously, though: Just let it go, pos. It happens. What sucks, though, is getting walked-in on while changing clothes and in a "compromising" position, and then getting accused of masturbating when you actually hadn't been. Fuckin' frustrating!!

No lock, still haven't been cought. Tough luck.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

What sucks, though, is getting walked-in on while changing clothes and in a "compromising" position, and then getting accused of masturbating when you actually hadn't been. Fuckin' frustrating!!

Amen, that happens far too often.

Ahahahaha, at least you weren't at the point of no return when your mom walked in. I remember a thread on another MB about some kid whose mother walked in on him AS HE WAS SHOOTIN HIS LOAD. Holy shit, imagine your mom walking in on you and watching you cum. That's fucking traumatization. LOL

Btw, first post on Totse

So, did she stay for the money shot?

I fucking hate getting caught jerkin the gerkin. my mum is a complete bitch, and if she suspects me of doing anything like that she will sneak in the room, and then go *AHEM*. the bitch.

well look on the bright side, now that she know your balls are dropping if they havnt already, and she knows you beat off, do it more often! some nice times and places are at the movies, during traffic, at the family diner table, andin restraunts. be proud of beating your meat. one day soo how many times you can wack it in one day.maybe if your really open with your parents, ask your dad for other techniques to use.

quote:Originally posted by mrparks:

So, did she stay for the money shot?

Well what do you think. Mothers don't recoil in horror and shield their eyes in these situations. They just stand there gawping, perhaps slowly backing away (from what I've read in this thread so far). Maybe it's one giant incest conspiracy.

He should jack off with his door wide open now...

Hey man its not so bad,although i've never been caught and I have no lock the trick is in the shower or somewhere wheere they won't find you alos try when there asleep my parents usually mine go to sleep early I dont know about yourse.Another tip is do it when their at work maybe both your parents dont work but mine do so I have time there but I know when to do it or not heres a site for homemade sex toys for men and women if you still have the balls to jerk off or even use one of these but from what I have read they work although ive never used them but you can try to satisify you more so you dont do it as often see heres a mathmatical equation

you masturbating - doing it a lot = less chance of getting caught

Oh yeah heres the site http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/

[This message has been edited by cronic5 (edited 06-04-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by cronic5:

[B

Oh yeah heres the site http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/ [/B]

Most people feel weird about going to such lengths to simulate sex when they could perhaps spend time chatting up girls - but I understand. There's no emotional crap attached to it. However from a quick look at that site jackinworld's 'sex simulators' seem more comprehensive and slightly less ambitious.

If you ever get caught, just have a talk with your parents and tell them you were just cleaning it and it went off. If it doesnt work, then the insect thing is a good idea.

Fuck it, just say " what i was jacking off, you do the same thing" Big deal

quote:Originally posted by HappyUglyBoy:

If you ever get caught, just have a talk with your parents and tell them you were just cleaning it and it went off. If it doesnt work, then the insect thing is a good idea.

I was just inspecting my balls for cancer!!!

ahaha, that one dude is right. you don't have to worry about cum stains anymore. i used to spend 20 minutes looking for them on my bed and my floor after whacking it but now i just blow it straight into my mattress and on my floor and don't even give a shit, wanking is alot less stressful. sure, it is embarassing, but she probably jacks off too.

you know what's even more embarassing though? giving your pubes a nice trim in the shower and clogging up the drain and having your mom ask you about it... that's a hundred times worse than getting busted wanking, and even that wasn't that bad. one thing that was bad though was the time i shaved all of my pubes and my mom asked me why there was all that hair clogged in my razor, LOL ahhah good times.

so the only reason you cleaned up your cum residue was fear of your mom seeing it?

and now you just leave them?

yeah i leave it for my mom to clean up

I remember that guy. It must suck to be his mom, while trying to pretend to sleep she has to hear that and can't get up and leave.

quote:Originally posted by Santino Corleone:

I remember that guy. It must suck to be his mom, while trying to pretend to sleep she has to hear that and can't get up and leave.

Must suck to be big j's mum, on her knees wiping up cum from the carpet

quote:Originally posted by infamous big j:

yeah i leave it for my mom to clean up

oh ok, i thought you just left them and no one cleaned them up.

that's pretty funny that you have your mom do it

I guess my Mom knows why I have that box of tissues next to my desk, now...

my mom's a clean freak, i can blow my load anywhere and it will be cleaned up within 24 hours. it's so damn cool.

quote:Originally posted by PoseidonHurri:

I guess my Mom knows why I have that box of tissues next to my desk, now...

haha, probably so

when i first started whacking it i used tissues to clean it up and my mom asked me why i went through a whole box of tissues in a week, told her i had a cold then i stopped using them, but i think she knew what i was really using them for.

quote:Originally posted by Johnnx:

He should jack off with his door wide open now...



Lmfao...

quote:Originally posted by Chainhit:

LOl.. get a lock man.. or unscrew your doornoob (lol) and itlly be a bitch to open the door...

Before i got a door knob i had just a hole there and still the dead bolt thingy but the only way to get in was with a screw driver. I always taped a cloth over it when i had a girl at my place. I ALWAYS had ALL the screwdrivers.

quote:Originally posted by ASH_shop_S-mart:

Fuck it, just say " what i was jacking off, you do the same thing" Big deal



i dont think his mom jacks off...or does he?

everyone jacks off

so ure mom caught you jacking off eh? its okay man she probably already knew you were wanking. if she asks you about it just say it a natural thing and my PE teacher said its OK. if she chooses to ignore it dont ever mention it. (and for goodness sakes but a lock)

BIG FUCK'N QUESTION HOW MANY TIMES DOES EVERYBODY OR ANYBODY JACKS OFF A DAY ANSWER ME???

I THINK I DO IT TO MANY TIMES

Don't worry about it pal, it's good for you. Might get an achy prostate if you do it without stopping, but 5+ times a week has been shown to prevent prostate cancer, so wank away, comrades!

Just one question for the kid who got busted. Did your mother also glimpse and pornographic/stimulatory materials? Or were you just using your healthy imagination? If it was the latter your mom might be cool. But if she saw something like hardcore underage gay enema bondage she might be call a doctor. Like when my mom caught jacking off... wearing a sailor costume on my sister's bed while she was asleep in her underwear.

My advice is to move out. You can fuck/masturbate as much as you want.

Fuckin wanker

Raven~`

quote:Originally posted by Ocular Gyric Crisis:

Like when my mom caught jacking off... wearing a sailor costume on my sister's bed while she was asleep in her underwear.



I hope your lying.

I think I had the porn minimized at the time, so I don't think she saw that.

NEXT TIME SHE SEE U TELL HER TO FINISH U OFF

IF SEE DOESN'T SKEET IT ON HER

Oh my god. I just read something someone said and it reminded me of a memory I had repressed. One time my sister and my mom walked in on me cleaning my genital piercings (I'm a girl). It fucking sucked. I didn't know what the fuck to do. My sister knew I had the piercings, but I think she thought I was masturbating (there was something between me and the door). Then she said something to me. Asked me where something was or some shit like that. I told her I didn't know. My mom came storming into my room a couple minutes later, pissed as hell at whatever I had said to my sister because apparently it was false. My mom also assumed I was masturbating, I think, but kept talking to me anyway.

Another time, when I got caught smoking pot in my room, it masked the masturbation that was taking place. Because I had a towel under my door and was acting really strange, my dad attributed everything to the pot smoking and not the masturbating. I had porn on the TV, and I turned it off. So the whole room was dark. The plan was to turn off the TV, get the towel, and jump into the bed in less than a second. It didn't work out. Whatever, I'm glad he caught me smoking rather than wanking (or whatever the female word is)

quote:Originally posted by Zok:

I read a similar story in S&A a few months ago. Some person had just gotten out of the shower and decided to go at it. What he failed to see was his mother lying on his bed behind him. She pretended to be asleep in order to avoid him being embarassed. It didn't seem to work too well.



I was thinking about that one when i read the subject of this one. I Never found out Why she was laying on his bed?

quote:Originally posted by Electron:

NEXT TIME SHE SEE U TELL HER TO FINISH U OFF

IF SEE DOESN'T SKEET IT ON HER

*Uncontrollable urge* SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET!!!

quote:Originally posted by matty4522:



I was thinking about that one when i read the subject of this one. I Never found out Why she was laying on his bed?

Perhaps she was cleaning it and got exhausted so laid on top of his bed for a bit, not realising that he was home (and he simultaneously didn't realise that she was home)

Worst I've had is my mum coming upstairs, usually I hear this and stop but for whatever reason I didn't until she was very close to me door. I knew she was gonna open it so I'm pulling my trousers back up, etc, and in my hopping of confusion I hit my (closed) door. For some reason she says 'Why won't you let me in?' despite not trying to open the door.

She didn't open the door after that for the rest of the evening. But never mentioned it again. Odd question...

quote:Originally posted by infamous big j:

my mom's a clean freak, i can blow my load anywhere and it will be cleaned up within 24 hours. it's so damn cool.

Damn, I'd make a challenge outta that. start blowing loads on random spots of the house. See how many you can shoot, and how many are closed by the next morning. get a ladder and smear some on the ceiling, get the walls, the counter, the refridgerator, etc,etc.

ha ha!

my advice? get over it

quote:Originally posted by Electron:

BIG FUCK'N QUESTION HOW MANY TIMES DOES EVERYBODY OR ANYBODY JACKS OFF A DAY ANSWER ME???

I THINK I DO IT TO MANY TIMES

oh wow. i used to jack off more than once a day many years ago. it was called puberty. and no girlfriends to blow me insted. i feel sorry for you but it will pass.... now i normally beat off every other day or every 3 days

quote:Originally posted by GlitterPunk112358:

I'm glad he caught me smoking rather than wanking (or whatever the female word is)

We call it "jilling off" down here in the city.

My ex-girlfriend caught me once. She stopped by because we were still friends. She was just like "oohh!!! I'm sorry to have disturbed you". We had a laugh after that, me saying look what you've done to me, I have do to this now that you've left me...

It's good keeping a friendship after a break up. Wasn't so bad we were totally open with our sexuality.

quote:Originally posted by Oken:

Damn, I'd make a challenge outta that. start blowing loads on random spots of the house. See how many you can shoot, and how many are closed by the next morning. get a ladder and smear some on the ceiling, get the walls, the counter, the refridgerator, etc,etc.



i've gotten it on the cieling before, i blew it into a condom and turned it inside out and threw it up at the cieling to see if it would stick. it stained the cieling and my mom noticed it, but she made me stand up on my desk and clean it up !! stupid bizzle.

quote:Originally posted by GlitterPunk112358:

One time my sister and my mom walked in on me cleaning my genital piercings (I'm a girl).

Post pics please.

lol good times I've been fucking jacking off since i was like 12 after the older neighborhood girl who was 15 told me about it. I've been through it all I think masterbation for men is like a daily ritual. me and my friend used to stay up from like 9:00 at night till like 4 downloading porn on kazaa on his crappy dialup connection. god fucking times. my moms caught me on everything I remeber in lke 8th grade when i fucking jacked off and then jizzed allover my bed and she came in and sat on it and she said, "I hope that isn't what I think it is. lol it was so funny and then she caught me like six other times throughout highschool one time I was wacthing a hardcore porno and she goes, "I think you better go to bed. then las week she somehow got onto my computer and deleted all my porn plus she is constantly taking magizines out of my room and throwing them away. BUy a fleshlight if your going to jack off that works the best I ordered one on my moms credit card and told her it was a computer hardrive. she actually belived it you can't go wrong with a fleshlight. IN the end your years of masturbating will be the best times of your life I do it at least twice a day and I'm a senoir plus I'm fucking my girlfriend on the side. Don't worry if your mom cacthes u. it happens to the best of us.

-BY A FUCKING FLESHLIGHT YOU WON't REGRET IT 60.00 its worth it

What's with everyone recommending sex toys? Because yeah, my Mom walking in on me with a Flashlight or Watermelon on my dick would be much better than my hand.

one time my friends parents were going through his porn collection on his computer and they found a series of pictures called "ebony cock". his little sister must have downloaded them because she hates him and their parents had told her that they were going to go through his computer. it sucks for him though because his parents think he gets turned on by ebony cocks.

...

Why is this thread still alive? And well?

I had the same problem way back when. She was open-minded about it tho. I knew that if I locked my door, she would know that I was masturbating...so I asked her to knock when she came in, and well, she knocked and almost instantley threw the door open...I don't think I ever got the problem fixed, I just had to be fast

http://www.sexylosers.com/109.html Not sure if any of you people read this comic but I find this one to be ammusing an might bring a laugh to the posters face. http://www.sexylosers.com/063.html is also funny but http://www.sexylosers.com/204.html realy reminds me of this topic.

quote:Originally posted by Zok:

I read a similar story in S&A a few months ago. Some person had just gotten out of the shower and decided to go at it. What he failed to see was his mother lying on his bed behind him. She pretended to be asleep in order to avoid him being embarassed. It didn't seem to work too well.

That would be me :\

Originally posted by matty4522:

I was thinking about that one when i read the subject of this one. I Never found out Why she was laying on his bed?

She was there b/c she was waking me up for school (alarms cant wake me up) and was to tired to go back to her room so was lying down on my bed.

My mom never said anything about it. Ive had alotta close calls before that, like my mom knocked on my door, so i buttoned my pants, didnt bother with zipper cuz she was gettin kinda mad and my boxers were still down, well when she came in my button came loose, pants didnt fall off but it was hard as hell trying to stop them from falling off while not letting her know i was trying to button them up.

quote:Originally posted by infamous big j:

you know what's even more embarassing though? giving your pubes a nice trim in the shower and clogging up the drain and having your mom ask you about it... that's a hundred times worse than getting busted wanking, and even that wasn't that bad. one thing that was bad though was the time i shaved all of my pubes and my mom asked me why there was all that hair clogged in my razor, LOL ahhah good times.



Ah ha! I know, I had that happen to me one time. I was like... 18 or something, and I had just shaved the kitty. Anyway, this wasn't my first time shaving, but it had been a while, so there was a good bit of hair. Well, I thought I had cleaned it all up, but apparently I missed some, because the next morning I was getting ready for work, and when I stepped out of the bathroom, my mom was sitting on the daybed on the landing. She was completely serious, legs crossed, hands clasped on knees. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "{real name}, I know you've been shaving your snatch again."

I almost fucking died. Later, I told my friends about it, and haven't lived it down yet. Every now and again, one of my friends will turn to me, all serious like, and say, "Yes but, {real name}, we know you've been shaving your snatch again."

Holy mother of God... this woman is the most uptight woman in the world. Hearing the word "snatch" come out of her mouth....

I'll never forget it. Fucking hilarious. I wonder if she has any idea the hours of amusement I've gotten out of that.

that doesn't really sound that bad, it's alot worse when you're a 14 year old guy. i'd just started shaving my face and i guess i went on a shaving spree and shaved everything i could... it was really funny because most of my body was smooth for a few days. now i realize how fucking gay that was and wish i wouldn't have done it. it also wasted 3 of my shiny new mach 3 turbo blades and it made me sad.

:-(

[This message has been edited by infamous big j (edited 06-12-2004).]

I'd just tell her

"That's what you get for not knocking."

Cheers,

Lost

quote:Originally posted by Lilly:



Ah ha! I know, I had that happen to me one time. I was like... 18 or something, and I had just shaved the kitty. Anyway, this wasn't my first time shaving, but it had been a while, so there was a good bit of hair. Well, I thought I had cleaned it all up, but apparently I missed some, because the next morning I was getting ready for work, and when I stepped out of the bathroom, my mom was sitting on the daybed on the landing. She was completely serious, legs crossed, hands clasped on knees. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "{real name}, I know you've been shaving your snatch again."

I almost fucking died. Later, I told my friends about it, and haven't lived it down yet. Every now and again, one of my friends will turn to me, all serious like, and say, "Yes but, {real name}, we know you've been shaving your snatch again."

Holy mother of God... this woman is the most uptight woman in the world. Hearing the word "snatch" come out of her mouth....

I'll never forget it. Fucking hilarious. I wonder if she has any idea the hours of amusement I've gotten out of that.



i liked both the word kitty and snatch.

and what part of post pictures don't you people understand?

bumpmode

That sucks to get caught by your own mom. I had something simular happen to me but I got caught by my sister, not my mom. At least your mom didn't jack you off when she caught you like my sister did. I still can't talk to my sister ever since that day.

quote:Originally posted by Pagan_Guru:

I asked her to knock when she came in, and well, she knocked and almost instantley threw the door open...I don't think I ever got the problem fixed, I just had to be fast

Exactly the same ... what's the point of knocking if you're just gonna open the door immediately!? BITCH!!

my tale of mortification:

when i was 16 i bought my first dildo. it was hardcore, vibrating rabbit ears, fat rotating cock, the whole nine yards. my mother never comes upstares, and i wasn't planning on sleeping, but i guess my "session" really wore me out, so i placed my friend beside my bed. of course, my mom comes barging through the door. i was almost in the clear, but as she was turning to leave she spotted it. i had to throw it away and we've never spoken about it since.

i'm an only child and i have the entire upstairs to myself, so sometimes i would sleep in the nude. my mom decided she needed to have a little girl time with me and comes in and lays down beside me. oh my god i was so scared! but after about 20 min she left and i just stayed with the sheet wrapped around me.

>_<

quote:Originally posted by nyeusigrube:

it was hardcore, vibrating rabbit ears, fat rotating cock, the whole nine yards.

Why the fuck arent there many 16-year-olds like you? I'd have such a better time...

quote:Originally posted by CatharticWeek:

Why the fuck arent there many 16-year-olds like you? I'd have such a better time...

lol, i don't think the world could handle it

haaaa that sucks

I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time.

OMG girls OMG post ur nekked pics OMG OMG OMG!

quote:Originally posted by infamous big j:

yeah i leave it for my mom to clean up

Reminds me of the joke about the guy who has to clean up the holodeck after Riker is done with it. (Star Trek joke)

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

We call it "jilling off" down here in the city.

I've heard that phrase before, but it's so stupid I laugh whenever I hear it. Good thing no one uses that phrase in Michigan. You from New York? I've only heard New Yorkers say that.

quote:Originally posted by pissedpat:

http://www.sexylosers.com/109.html Not sure if any of you people read this comic but I find this one to be ammusing an might bring a laugh to the posters face. http://www.sexylosers.com/063.html is also funny but http://www.sexylosers.com/204.html realy reminds me of this topic.

Sexy Losers, depicting sexual deviation for far to long. They need more comics on animal fuckers, if only because that particular perversion is underrepresented.



Only thing I got that even comes close is when my mom found a used condom in my trash. Then she asks "Sarah or Kristy?" Right in front of Kristy's dad! Fortunatly it was Sarah.

quote:Originally posted by NecrophiliacJack:

That sucks to get caught by your own mom. I had something simular happen to me but I got caught by my sister, not my mom. At least your mom didn't jack you off when she caught you like my sister did. I still can't talk to my sister ever since that day.

Call me a pervert if you will (you won't be the first) but I really want to hear more about this.

quote:Originally posted by mizled:

Why were you jacking off Jesus??

lol.

quote:Originally posted by nyeusigrube:

my tale of mortification:

when i was 16 i bought my first dildo. it was hardcore, vibrating rabbit ears, fat rotating cock, the whole nine yards. my mother never comes upstares, and i wasn't planning on sleeping, but i guess my "session" really wore me out, so i placed my friend beside my bed. of course, my mom comes barging through the door. i was almost in the clear, but as she was turning to leave she spotted it. i had to throw it away and we've never spoken about it since.

i'm an only child and i have the entire upstairs to myself, so sometimes i would sleep in the nude. my mom decided she needed to have a little girl time with me and comes in and lays down beside me. oh my god i was so scared! but after about 20 min she left and i just stayed with the sheet wrapped around me.

>_<

that sounds great and all but you spelled upstairs* wrong.

quote:Originally posted by nyeusigrube:

my tale of mortification:

when i was 16 i bought my first dildo. it was hardcore, vibrating rabbit ears, fat rotating cock, the whole nine yards. my mother never comes upstares, and i wasn't planning on sleeping, but i guess my "session" really wore me out, so i placed my friend beside my bed. of course, my mom comes barging through the door. i was almost in the clear, but as she was turning to leave she spotted it. i had to throw it away and we've never spoken about it since.

i'm an only child and i have the entire upstairs to myself, so sometimes i would sleep in the nude. my mom decided she needed to have a little girl time with me and comes in and lays down beside me. oh my god i was so scared! but after about 20 min she left and i just stayed with the sheet wrapped around me.

>_<

im 16.. i need to get me one of those...

u know, i think when a mom sees that, i dont think they care really, inless they are a really big bitch, but other than that, they know your wacking off, every guy wacks off, and if you dont your a faggot that needs to grow a dick and balls, and start wacking off.

have yet to be caught

I'm half sure my mum has caught me. Whenever she enters the room, no matter what I've got on internet explorer I close it.. I don't usually have masses of porn up, but just in case..

One time she entered my room and I was adjusting my junk, wasn't actually wanking and I closed the window at the same time and she was like "What were you doing!" in a really stern voice, my God I was sweating for minutes after.

Whenever someone enters the room, I usually just get my hand away from my waist as fast as the shit can fly.

Reminds me of the song - the shaggy parody, caught me one handed.

Mommy came in and she caught me one handed thinkin' 'bout the girl next door. Picture This I was sherkin that gurkin shoulda locked the bedroom door..

Then the great MC style bit "When you're a young man you need a little thrilla, keep a dirty magazine underneath your pilla, never admit when you tenderize your steak.. or been wrestlin' wit the one eyed snake!"

quote:Originally posted by Cornpuff Mgruff:

that sounds great and all but you spelled upstairs* wrong.

if you're reading this thread to check spelling.... o.0

quote:Originally posted by SSJ4 GOGETA:

have yet to be caught

ditto

By the way, Cornpuff, your punctuation is incorrect. There should be a comma after the word "all."

Hahaha, I love Sexy Losers. Here's one of my favorites: http://www.sexylosers.com/225.html ...I can just HEAR him talking in a most Superhero-ish tone..

And this one is just great: http://www.sexylosers.com/201.html

Go SL.

Iv never had my mom catch me. But last year I was up north and i shared a room with my cousin so i couldn't beat off very often. So in the middle of the day i went in my room and i was jacking off. I just finished shooting a great load complete with facial expresions and moaning. Then i turrned my head and my older sisters boyfriend was sitting there. And he says "what are you doing man?" Lets just say i never made eye contact with that guy again.

Dude ive never been caught, but i feel your pain man

not always bad thing gettin caught....i was stayin at a mates house for a few days an i thought ther was no1 in an then i started to jack off when all of a sudden his super hot 1year younger sister came in an saw me!!!!.....i was lik uh oh but got finished of by her mouth so wasnt a bad thing gettin caught by her.

Prob not v gd gettin caught by ur mum tho :P

quote:Originally posted by jonnymckim:

not always bad thing gettin caught....i was stayin at a mates house for a few days an i thought ther was no1 in an then i started to jack off when all of a sudden his super hot 1year younger sister came in an saw me!!!!.....i was lik uh oh but got finished of by her mouth so wasnt a bad thing gettin caught by her.

Prob not v gd gettin caught by ur mum tho :P



your the man !!!

thanx G...every time i am over ther ther is lik this weird eye contact between us u kno lol

You can understand why I might think you are full of shit and have seen too many pornos.

quote:Originally posted by Prometheus:

Call me a pervert if you will (you won't be the first) but I really want to hear more about this.

Are you being serious or just fooling around?

haha

It took me nearly 35 minutes to read the rest of these replies haha. The homemade sex toy site was pretty cool... i doubt ill ever try that shit though. Really funny that [someone] used their mom's credit card to order the fleshlight, telling her it was a computer hard drive haha!

Those sexylosers comics are SO GOD DAMN hillarious. I was fckin CRACKING up especially the one about "thats how you were born"! I actually teared from laughing.

These stories/comments are just great

quote:Originally posted by Zok:

I read a similar story in S&A a few months ago. Some person had just gotten out of the shower and decided to go at it. What he failed to see was his mother lying on his bed behind him. She pretended to be asleep in order to avoid him being embarassed. It didn't seem to work too well.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

quote:The homemade sex toy site was pretty cool...

where is it.. i didnt come by it

quote:Originally posted by lilazn98:

where is it.. i didnt come by it

Hi, its right here:

http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/

I tried something from the site last night.... gotta say, it wasnt very sucessful. Not going into detail, but i wont ever fuck another in-animate object again haha

Lmao here's more entertaining stories!

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/wanking_disasters/

quote:Originally posted by Gustave:

Print out a sign saying "Warning, I might be masturbating if the door is closed!".

Ldfsg;jsdfgFD:LO

quote:Originally posted by Gustave:

Print out a sign saying "Warning, I might be masturbating if the door is closed!".

hey gustave.....mabye you can sell us some of those signs....seems like you might need alot of those....(jk)

quote:I think you're supposed to hang a tie on the doorknob or something....

i think ur supposed to put a rubber band on the door knob, thats universally understood.

And this has been the most entertaining thread evr.

One night when I was much younger I decided I was going to beat it off (it was at night). So I starting slapping it silly with my eyes closed (i had heard this increased pleasure and fantasies were more realistic), then when I came and I opened my eyes, THERE WAS MILK AND COOKIES NEXT TO MY BED! NO JOKE!



By the way, my parents make me have my door open at ALL times ,and I live in a slummy apartment where my room is right next to theres. So I literally have to whack the mole with my door wide open, because my mom forces me to.

This has probably been the funniest thread I have ever read. Ive only got caught once a couple years ago, but it was hell. I was jerkin it in the bathroom and my mom thought I was in the shower. Well I forgot that bathroom door doesnt close right and she fucking walks in to get something and Im totally naked sittin on the toilet, cock in hand. I spend the rest of the day in my room pretending to read.

I can't believe that this thread is still going on. I guess everyone can relate somehow.

Pretending to read? That is the funniest thing ever.

quote:Originally posted by VladimirIllyichLenin:

when I came and I opened my eyes, THERE WAS MILK AND COOKIES NEXT TO MY BED! NO JOKE!



By the way, my parents make me have my door open at ALL times ,and I live in a slummy apartment where my room is right next to theres. So I literally have to whack the mole with my door wide open, because my mom forces me to.

Maybe she wants to catch you more often...

6 pages. i read every post. I am still yet to get caught. But i almost did a bunch a times on the family computer (haha yes i have porn hidden on the family computer since we each have our own login screens). Since i wear shirts kinda big when someone walks in i can just hide my area. It has worked so far but i duno if itll hold up. Oh and in like 8th or 9th grade my dad went into my history folder and saw porn sites. I said they were all popups...i guess it worked. thank goodness for them.

quote:Originally posted by Prometheus:

Call me a pervert if you will (you won't be the first) but I really want to hear more about this.

quote:Originally posted by NecrophiliacJack:

Are you being serious or just fooling around?

I'm in the same boat...how old were u both?

This has been the most entertaining thread ever. I have never been caught but once While I was spanking it on my futon I had an eerie feeling that someone would walk in. I put my cock back into my pants the second before my dad walks in.

I was so thankful for my sixth sense that day.

Phew..........

This has to be the best thread I've ever read on totse.

I've never been caught jacking off but my mom did find my old jizz rag wedged between my bed and my wall. The one day I decided not to to hide it she just has to go searching around in my room. She never said anything about it though.

I have had a few close calls. Once I was in my living room (sitting where I am now) at the family computer pounding off to pics of Brittany Spears (back when she used to be hot, before she turned into a whore, when she was like, 16-17) when my sister and her friend walk in. I just barely got my pants back up and covered my cock with my shirt when she looked over at me. My fly was wide open, no button or zipper, but suprisingly, neither of them noticed. When they left the room I zipped up my pants and went into my room to finish up. The only thing scarrier than almost getting caught was that I was still hard after it happened.

Another time, afew years ago, I blew a load in the kitchen and missed a rather large drop on the floor. It was funny watching my mom, afew hours later, before it dried, looking at it trying to figure out what the hell it was. Haha, that was great. She enentually owed it to the dog.

[This message has been edited by Half Blue (edited 07-12-2004).]

This happened to me once when i had just woke up i started jackin' & wackin' and my door was cracked open my mom came by the door and opened it looked at me left and said good mrning halfway down the stairs. I then heard her talking w/ my dad about it and i yelled down "Do we have any jock itch cream?" so later i heard them talkin about it sayin they were relaeved that was all and i wasnt jackin off.

well u should've just told them that u were jacking off...

http://newgrounds.com/portal/view/180106

quote:Originally posted by mizled:

Why were you jacking off Jesus??

DUDE!

quote:Originally posted by Ds nuts201:

http://newgrounds.com/portal/view/180106

dude i was playing that shit earlier and i couldn't even get past the first girl. it's hard as hell. no pun intended but you wouldn't have picked it up if i didn't say anything anyways.

quote:Originally posted by Gustave:

Print out a sign saying "Warning, I might be masturbating if the door is closed!".

LOL thats funny man!! Im gonna do that... cause i can!! pity nobody that lives here gives a shit wat im doin in my room

lol ... very very entertaining. I've never been caught by parents, friends or siblings, but my boyfriend did call one time half way through. Good thing he has a sexy voice...

There was this one time though, I was at an ex's house in HS (a few years ago). We were getting into it, clothes still on (barely), making out and pleasing the other. I pull away ... and there's a plate of cookies and 2 drinks on the table next to us. To this day (even after breaking up with him) I still cannot look his parents in the eye.

i've never been caught. I even managed to screw my ex g/f twice when my parents were in. They never knew.

Okay, so I'm not a guy but this thread is so funny because one Christmas I bought my dad a hand held shower massager. Well, I'd been taking a 'long' shower one day and when I came out my dad asked me if I used the shower massager standing up or laying down in the tub. Gawd, I could of died.

Alright, since I have not posted mindless dribble lately, I might as well speak up on this subject.

I have been caught twice, once by my now ex step father, and another time by my grandfather. I was naked when my ex-step-father saw me, and the fucker told me to leave the door open, and just left, so I had to close it. My grandfather just thought I was using the bathroom, or so it seemed anyway.

Twice is not all that bad, especially since I have been jacking off since I was eight. (no lie either, I could swear if in front of God, looking him in the eye. {He's a cyclops, and his eye is the moon.})I am not sure about the truth of the cyclops part, or the moon, but I have to get my mindless dribble in somewhere. Damn vibrating toys, they rape kids.

Fini'

Signed,

Nameless

quote:Originally posted by Gustave:

Print out a sign saying "Warning, I might be masturbating if the door is closed!".

hahahahahahaha, what a genious idea.

quote:Originally posted by Rico:

*Uncontrollable urge* SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET!!!



hahahahahahahaha aaaaaaaaaaaah skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet

ive been cought by almost everyone in my family while jackin' it, except my mom. when my brother caught me he just started laughing. that one was easy to deal with, i definately don't wanna know what it feels like to get caught by my mom, and if i do i hope i can just act casual and say something like "hey im tryin to get off here, do you mind?"

[This message has been edited by CrackCident (edited 08-05-2004).]