ok here's the deal....i'm a virgin, and last night me and my girlfriend tried to have sex for the first time (she's not a virgin)...but I couldn't get my penis hard enough to penetrate her.

We were parked in a dark lit parking lot of a factory, laying in the back seat of my car, a compact sedan....thus the room was tight and we were not completely worry free of people watching, however, I don't think either of those were major factors in my disater...but i did feel a little nervouse getting naked for the first time with her....

ealier that afternoon, I did have 3 beers (hieneken) within an hour..(about 6pm)...and we tried to have sex around 11pm....so although i was not drunk, I am a 'light weight' drinker and i was still mildly buzzed..

also...I only got 4 hours of sleep that night...i woke up at 5am for no real reason and couln't go back to sleep...so i was tired on top of being lightly buzzed...and i'm guessing (and HOPING) those were the two main factors...

lastly...although I hadn't masterbated for 3 days, I think i should have allowed more time in between, but i know its very common to have sex on a daily basis, so i doubt it was a major cause...

so the reason i write here is because we plan on trying again tuesday (tommorow)....i'm very exited, but VERY afraid to fuck up again....so i need help!!!!

i'm 18, don't have medical problem, weigh pefectly normal/healthy, get plenty of excersise, don't do drugs, and no i'm not gay....but even after masterbating for 5 years to straight porn, I sadly haven't ruled out thats posibitly after what happen last night...(note: I never have had sexual thoughts about other men)...

so here i am on a monday, counting down to tommorow for my next chance....

i'm not endanger of losing her anythime soon, but tommorow is my birthday and I REALLY want to loose it tommorow...

i need advice people, please!!!...even if its just confort that what happen last night was a common incident...

any advice/suggestions on achieving maximum arousal tommorow night....nutrition/mentally/or physically-wise....i plan on working out tonight and tommorow mouring...getting plenty of sleep, and eating a little dark chocolate before heading out...but have no other plan...

thanks!!!

Being nervous, though it may seem minor, could very possibly be the problem. Don't worry about being seen or anything - hell, if anyhting, enjoy it; not is a weird way, but be proud that you and your girl are fucking and if someone wants to watch, then you must bei doing it right, right?

ModelFifteen

i think the word 'plan' says it all. don't for fuck's sake plan. it puts you under immense stress and it shouldn't surprise you that you aren't hard.

do not plan to have sex but rather plan a nice evening with her and maybe a couple of drinks then see where it goes.

spend enough quality time with her and you'll suddenly find that the time /place and level of mutual desire are right.

Stress and too much alcohol both contribute. First time sex is always a little icky and wierd. You're actually lucky it's not her first time, cuz at least she'll be relaxed and feel free to guide you.

But what i don't get is why the first time you're having sex = the first time you're getting naked together! Can't you just make out and if you're horny enough keep on going? You won't be able to forgive yourself if you set up a deadline like your birthday and then find you can't "deliver" on it. Don't do that. It's too much pressure for guys, and it's so common that they get a little soft down there just because they feel they HAVE to perform.

Instead, for your bday, just think that the only requirement is that you have a good time. HOW you end up having a good time should be left up to fate and fun. Intimacy is a lot more fun as a goal than just sex.

chill out... we all get performance anxiety the first time.

I wouldn't worry about it man. I got dumped after my first time because I pushed her off me whilst shouting: 'For fuck's sake! Fight Club's on.'

After that I couldn't get hard as Meat Loaf kept entering my mind.

S'all good for practise... you know trial and improvement.

Classic case of performance anxiety. You need to not worry about it, and go someplace that's a bit more comfortable.

Try starting with oral. That way, if you still can't get hard enough, at least you both get something. Of course, if she gives you a good head job there's a very small chance you'll be 'not hard enough'

i laughed when i read that, i'm sorry but i laughed

I've read in Playboy that peanuts will make you harder... just a shot in the dark ( yes, pun intended ) but I'm sure you're open to any suggestions.. right?

Damn, I had a different problem. When I was making out with my girl at first, I was getting way too hard to quickly, couldn't not get quite aroused very quickly.

I laughed my fucking ass off when I read about fight club though.