"god dam its cold" yea no shit roach i replied as i passed him a ciggerete. we sat on the curb waiting for our taxi, all i could think about was gettin home to my princess who would make this comedown more bearable, but for the moment all i had was roach and well roach is ... and interesting fellow he always seems to aquire some sort of interesting drugs for the occasion, this is how it started.

roach calls me he had somehow gotten word that a mutural friends parents had gone overseas, i put on a shirt and some jeans got my smokes and met roach at the local bottleshop, "so whats the go for tonight roach?" "um yea .. were ,umn goin to lomi's place, .. soon man" fucking roach tweaked out as always, i get our drinks and we cath a taxi to lomi's place.This guy Lomi lives in a nice area white picket fences, kids playing in the street and people having barbeques you know the kind of place you would like ot raise a family one day, i had only meet him a few times semmed like a nice guy but i never did relly like any of roaches tweaker mates that much there just this fuked up thing about them.

we had a couple of cans and sat outside for a smoke when roach proceeds to pull out this 2 meduim sized bags of pink powder out of his pocket " fuck roach what is that crap" i said he continues to tell me about how his brother friends scored this killer crank and blah blah, i stoped him rioght there "so roach your telling me you stole your brother stash agian ?" he replies with a meger umm .. yea and? Roach's brother is like roach unpredictable to say the least but unlike roach he is on the roids lately and has been one angry son of a bitch, i had this feeling, a bad feeling that the night was gonna turn out for the worse.

by this time the house was filled with people and tweakersfrom everywhere, roach urges me to come to the bathroom with him, he pours this pink almost flurecent pink power on the mirror and proceds to cut some lines, roach man settle down "to hard to early bro" i said to him, but being roach he just smiles at me and hands me the mirror, im not proud of what i do and i dont expect people to think any less of me because of it,it jus a habbit so get over it.

it was gettin late and the night was comming to an end what was a house full of stranger who were dancing and sharing their upsmost feelings and secrets had been reduced to the room full off quiet cold bodies just siting not talkng, scattered.

i knew it was time to go that sick feeling that fills your stomach and the aches and pains that plague your body had come on and i just wanted ot be alone so i called the taxi and waited, but for me being alone meant being alone..... with roach, his consant talking and questioning was gettin on my nerves he was rushing from the lines he had just racked before he followed me outside. " hey man *sniff sniff*.. umm what do... u think.. about the *sniff sniff*" at this point i was ready to murder roach and burry him in the backyard "shut the fuck up roach my head is pounding my jaw hurts and ur pissen me off bro fuk off" he just looked at me with thos dialated pupils and replied " yea sweet man *sniff sniff* umm .... yea im gonna go meet up lomi n .. yea .. cars... more *sniff sniff* score sum speed" and roach proceeds to run down the street, fukin tweaker, i put my headphones in and wait.

it seemed like hourse until i feel a tap on my shoulder, i pull out the headphones that had been playing the hypnotic sounds of 'pharamacy: harder darkier dirtier' i turn around and expect to see that tweaker roach again but was suprised it was a girl sash i think her name was, a preety girl that i had meet earlier in lomi's house we got to talking for ages about how much we both loved kittens but not cats, "sash yea?" i asked "yea" shes said with a smile " have u got a space cigg?" i pulled out a ciggy from my top pocket and gave it to her shes simply replied with a "ta" and proceded to sit down next to me and rest her head on my shoulder *sigh* shes put her hand on top of myne on slowly pulls it then places it on her breasts over her heart "do you think im sexy?" she asks i manages to stutter out a "umm ..yes" i couldent comprehend what was on right now scattered out of my brain and out off no where this beautifull girl is asking me these question i tough i might have been trippen. "would you let me kiss you?" such an innocent little voice i melted "um m.. i .. " then she pressed her soft lips up again myne ans before i knew it i had her pinned again the fence of the house i was waiting in front off skirt up and my jeans half off, she moaned then dug her nails into the back of my shirt i was gasping for breath as i came. she looked at me and kissed me i didnt kiss back, i knew what i had just done, the sin i had just commited agint my girl. I felt those sick felling come back to me now i just sat here on the curb she came up to me and asked me for my number i spat out some random number from my memory and she was gone.

As i oppened my front door and went ot my romm she waiting for me the innocent look on my princesses face, the loving aura that sourounded her i felt like scum liek a dog, i got undressed and layed down she snuggled up to me and started to rub my stomach, i pulled away and said "not tonight" she seemd curious i managed to dribble out "cant we just cuddle" and she smilled she fell asleep in my arms that night i woke up early that morning and left and i havent called her since, that was 3 days ago

sorry again about the long post but it needed to be done

thanks

-JoJo

[This message has been edited by JoJo (edited 05-26-2004).]

Can someone please just give me the jist of this?

quote:Originally posted by JoJo:

roach urges me to come to the bathroom with him, he pours this pink almost flurecent pink power on the mirror and proceds to cut some lines...im not proud of what i do and i dont expect people to think any less of me because of it,it jus a habbit so get over it.

she looked at me and kissed me i didnt kiss back, i knew what i had just done, the sin i had just commited agint my girl.

As i oppened my front door and went to my room she waiting for me the innocent look on my princesses face, the loving aura that sourounded her i felt like scum liek a dog, i got undressed and layed down she snuggled up to me and started to rub my stomach, i pulled away and said "not tonight" she seemd curious i managed to dribble out "cant we just cuddle" and she smilled she fell asleep in my arms.

[This message has been edited by JoJo (edited 05-26-2004).]

shitty...but ya, questions or anything, or just needed to get it out???

and the brief summary is that he was at a party, he left, waited for a cab, chick came onto him, he fucked her, went home to his (gf, wife??) and felt bad..left home and hasnt been back for 3 days..

tell her. its the only way it wont tear you apart.

From this I gather that you went to a Tweak party, and screwed some Tweaker girl.



Telling your girlfriend that you're cheating scum will do nothing to help her, it will just soothe your own guilty conciense, and will wreck her world.

However, Tweak girls tend to get around alot, so you should go to a Doc, get a STD check, if not for you, for the sake of your poor girlfriend.



And as for the Tweak girl, if you dont want to see her again, just delete her number. She'll forget about you pretty soon.

..Or get her Dealer to kick the shit out of you.

, either way..

I'm not chock full of advice on this, but I'd like to say that I really like your writing style. Unlike most stories on this forum, you used an attention grabber at the beginning and I actually wanted to keep reading.

Sorry I don't have any pertinent advice.

Just what you love to hear, your story is entertaining.

I've been in similar positions before, not for a long time though. These girls just aren't worth doing anything with but I know how difficult it can be at a party when you are completely fucked up the ass from some drugs. I guess that there was nothing useful behind what I just said, but it will cause major problems if you tell her. But if you don't tell her then you will be torn to pieces and completely screwed up if you don't. It's a really hard position to be in and the worst part is that you know it's through a fault of your own.

[This message has been edited by Syko (edited 05-27-2004).]

I liked it cause it had tweak in it. But I didn't like it cause it had dirty crank.

I liked it cause you got some. But then I found out you had a girlfriend.

I liked it because you went home to her. But then you left her.

Does she even know why you left and didn't go back? Think about how it would feel i the roles were reversed. You would be going mad wondering: A)If she was ok B)(If she knows your ok)Where she was and C)Why she left you with no apparent reason.

You should really at least tell her you feel eaten up about some "personal issues" or something. I know it would make her feel better. You seem to really care for her.

Just some thoughts, I hope everything works out OK for you guys!

i stare at my phone it and watch it vibrate in little circles while i try and figure out what im going to say to her when i answer it, then it just stops.

im going to see her tommor nigth hopefully theres this club we go to thats on fridays, and when we havent seen each other for a while we usually meet up there, this club was the sence for our fist meeting my first what i thought was love, i know know that love is a myth, and coincidentally this club will be theh same place where i have to break her heart and myne, im going to end it tommorow night i hope she can forgive me this is last thing i wanted to happen the best i can hope for is a clean break.

i will wait for roaches call and intend to fill my body with alll sorts of alcohol and yummy chems gonna be a weekend to remember.

[This message has been edited by JoJo (edited 05-27-2004).]

Wow. JoJo you sound like you've been up for a while. Maybe you should get some sleep to clear your mind? I know my head gets all kinds of ideas after a couple of "really long days."

yea i have been up a while but i cant sleep jus listing to some old r n b.

*puts his 112 tape on repeat and sits in the corner*

has this kinda fucked up shit ever happened to anyone else?