So...I'm im the only girl who has the hardest time finding a nice guy. I mean everyone either wants just ass or is a totally ass. Is it me? probably..but still. I'm so sick of being single and hooking up with stupid guys that I'll regret doing stuff with. My last boyfriend was great,untill he started smoking to much pot and started to pick smoking over me. But now he quit and wants to date me again..but im trying to move on...

Any other girls having my problem...if there are any other girls on here ha..

I had your problem when I was younger too. It's because girls mature faster than guys. You are thinking relationship, they are thinking party and hang out with friends. It will take some time, but you will eventually find someone. If he has quit smoking pot completely, you may want to give him another try. Maybe he realized what it was ruining for him. Good luck.

Yeah...I mean I love to hang out and party..but I can still have a boyfriend while doing all that. cant I?

I dont think I can give him another try, i think I like him as more of the friend type now then a boyfriend.

Well, go with your heart. If you don't like him that way don't lead him on, let him know how you feel. And, yes you can still have a boyfriend while doing all that, but sometimes people can't separate and learn how to do both at once.

I suggest not hooking up with random guys, because that only leads to problems (regret, std's,ect) Just hang out and have fun. You don't have to be with anyone, just hang out, have fun, and enjoy your youth. All that will come later, and it will be stressful enough then, no need to put yourself through it early.

Yeah, women mature faster than men...that must explain the gossip, backstabbing, and the elitists that us men have constantly

Look; there are nice guys around, but they tend to be clingy and annoying before age 25, just like most women are confused as fuck before age 25. That seems to be when the nice guys become a little more assertive and independent without crossing into asshole territory. Just keep looking, you'll find a nice guy who isn't clingy and annoying...eventually.

A tip for you: Date geeky men. They don't look the best a lot of the time, but they love their obsession enough that they don't cling to you constantly, but they can still love you more, and are usually very nice people to compensate for general lack of social experience and status. Watch out for narcissitic geeks who think their intelligence makes them king though...they're worse than any other type of person.

think of this:

most young girls want image over anything else, even though they will regret it later. so the decent guys you look for, have been dicked around, and fucked with alot. thats why there are so few of them, they have been torn apart.

just food for thought. your own worst enemy is the members of your own sex.

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

...Watch out for narcissitic geeks who think their intelligence makes them king though...they're worse than any other type of person.

*cough*Guswut*cough&

Society's worst discrepancy: All men are looking for a good woman; all women are looking for a good man, and yet, nobody can find a partner. Why? Maybe because society is shallow and tends to look through too narrow a scope. Open your mind a bit, and give the quiet/shy guy a chance here and there. I know how you girls all like a cute, cocky, funny guy, and while a little cockiness is always good, as is a sense of humor, you'll find that they're just defense mechanisms to hide insecurities. Also, you'll find that most men don't know shit about treating a girl right; all think that they do, but very few are for real.

Look for a REAL guy, not a poser - someone honest about his shortcomings, yet nice and respectful, and confident in himself, yet not cocky and loudmouthed. You'll know him when you see him. And you know, stop putting good guys like that in the friend zone, if you do.

In defense of the average guy, though - Hex is right: Even your average meathead might meet the wrong girl and get the shaft, because I've found that many girls of similar age are angsty bitches who think they know what they want, but don't - and thus, they'll get with a guy, then get sick of him, and probably hurt him. It tends to leave a bad taste in even a dumbass jock's mouth, and he might be very defensive.

This thread is very, very depressing.

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 05-25-2004).]

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 05-25-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by avenge96:

I had your problem when I was younger too. It's because girls mature faster than guys.

what is the point in saying stuff like this, i mean do you genuinly believe that this is true?

all it is, is that girls have less hormones that make them as horny, just because we talk about sex more often and more openly, it doesn't mean we are more immature. at all!

many of the girls i know like to act maturely, but when it comes to it dont actually have clue about real issues in the society today, things that we shoud be more worried about, rather than who's more mature when it comes to talking about sex!

QUOTE:

if there are any other girls on here ha..

this backs my point up perfectly, there are more boys/men on here because it is a topical site!...however i beleieve that most of the females on here are mature! but obviously not all!

~back on topic~

One of my friends is just getting over someone after about 3 months, but i know she would go back out with him in a second!

she thought she had found her "perfect guy" but as she has learnt not all guys say what they are really feeling or what they are thinkning! obviously this is not the case for all boys!!!

so to answer your question, i beleieve that it is def. not just you, infact most of my female friends have had this problem at some point!

hope i helped!

:s

spicy

you know what really gets me though?

i dont go for the 'cocky' type guys at all, i always go for the really quiet and insecure ones. but for some reason i always get fucked around worse than when i go for the players. its so fucking unfair.

Being fifteen I have the advantage of not giving a fuck.

I'm not lookin' for a guy, so I'm not too worried about their "immaturity".

Good luck to you though.

quote:Originally posted by gloria_iwontbesued:

you know what really gets me though?

i dont go for the 'cocky' type guys at all, i always go for the really quiet and insecure ones. but for some reason i always get fucked around worse than when i go for the players. its so fucking unfair.

yeah, the cocky ones are only like that cause they have ego problems, and then this is why they are normally nicer to their girlfriends(because they know why they are insecure)...

i dont like players anyway, dont like their attitudes!

and i dont know why the "shy" ones fuck you around more!ask them.lol

spicy

=( unhelpful.

I?m bored, (since I?m on TOTSE, this should be self-evident) so I?m going to summarize my thoughts:

I'm an adult male, so my opinions will be skewed somewhat.

First off, the notion that females mature faster than males is nonsense. The reality is that although the maturation rates are nearly identical, boys mature into men, and girls mature into women. Women don't act, feel, or think like men. Too many people don't get this until they are in their 20's. (and some never do) Maturity is an individual quality, some people will mature quickly and others will not, regardless of gender.

Hexadecimal has it dead on with "geeky" people. Since I was and am a member of the geek culture, I can say that although they may not seek you out with great vigor, they will make loyal and loving companions. Do keep in mind that, like Hex said, they are often treated unkindly by both genders outside of their little culture, so they may be suspicious of a female who's suddenly warm and friendly with them. They'll get over that soon enough, though.

The best way to approach one is not directly, but to befriend him and try to find some commonalities. This approach has some advantages. One is that you don?t have to waste time and money (yours or his) just to find out that there isn?t anything there. Another is that you get friends instead of frustrated Ex?s. The paradox with this approach is that if you do develop a strong friendship, you may not be able to make the transition to being mates. It seems to be mostly women that have that problem, at least in my observation, but it?s not strictly limited to either gender. I don?t know if it?s easier to do if you know that you want to make the transition anyway. Might be an interesting experiment. It could also be an emotionally wrenching experience, but many relationships end like that anyway, so you may not have much to lose.

gloria_iwontbesued makes a good point, though, with regard to the quieter crowd. Stay away from the people who are insecure, and constantly need validation. They will view you as a threat for far longer than someone who is merely inexperienced. Don?t be afraid to talk to people you might think are ?out of your league?. I suspect I intimidated many potential mates by being confident and aloof at the same time. Not many people are like me, though.

I am curious, when you say that you are having a hard time finding a nice guy, what exactly are you looking for? How do you define ?nice?? How are you looking? Are you waiting for them to find you? You might find your problem might lie in those questions.

I remember many women doing this in HS and college and they complained mightily, but never actually talked to males of their own initiative. I don?t know if that?s unique to my experience, but that?s what I observed.

One other thing I observed is that the ?nice? males are often reluctant to initiate conversations with females that they view as ?out of their league?. Even if they are intelligent, thoughtful, and all the other things you might be looking for, they may not realize it, not know how to express it, or may be too harsh in judging themselves. I?ve been there, and done that. It?s dumb, but part of growing up.

I hope this has been coherent enough to be helpful, I tend to ramble when I sit down to write something. I originally intended to write only a few lines on the subject.

Im a guy who would like a relationship and I'm only 15. Does that mean I'm mature? Who knows! But I dont really like to party much because I dont like hanging out with a bunch of people. When I hang out I like to hang out with 5 friends at the most. Anyways, I doubt this helped you very much.