I'm sick of the tv ads that tell me several times a day that I have trouble getting a hard on, or that my wang is too small. I've never had any complints. Is America really that insecure? Are we all supposed to have 12 hour erections that are at least as many inches?

Who'da thunk that of all the ads to improve what's behind my zipper, the viagra ads would be the most tasteful and least annoying?

The worst by far is those fucking enzyte ads. Teeny tiny cocktail weiners, talking about 'wood' and 'tools', and those stupid shit-eating grins. If I have have to look at that damn guy with his barney sized grin, his freaky clown shoes, and invariably holding something large and phallic about waist level, I swear I'm going to shoot the bastard. Hell, I'll bet that doing those ads is overcompensatin for having a schlong the size of a pencil eraser.

Sounds like someone is a TINY bit insecure!

It's not always a matter of insecurity, but of recreational improvement; as an example: I've tried Viagra and Cialis (powder) before, and liked it. I have no ED, I'm a virile son of a bitch, and my dick is amply-sized. I just tried the meds to see what they did for duration, sensitivity (if anything), etc. Too bad it's never geared towards that sort of usage, though.

I all I have to say is..

Fag.

Yeah I take viagra all the time just to see how "long" I can last.

I mean I can already last well over 30+ hours and my penis is roughly 4 inches around and 8 1/2 inches long.

I mean I have no complaints by ANY of the numerous women I've slept with.

I just wanted to see what it would do for my stamina!

I've never seen any of those ads, except for the Viagara. Now I have seen ads for 'penis-pump parties', let me tell you I really feel for those dudes.... If I ever resort to going to one of those parties, and (literally) hang out with a bunch of naked dudes, just to try out a toy to increase my size just fucking shoot me already.

Well guess what? I am tired of watching the "yeast infection" commericals, the "tampon/pad" commericals, and the "preganancy" commericals where the women sits there rubbing her stomach for the whole three minutes.

Also, I am sick of watching all these movies where the woman is seduced into sex SOOO easily, gets raped, shows parts that aren't nessecary, or is the WHORE of the film. It may seem like I am a little uptight, but the television, music videos and videos in general have gotten really bad. And, yea I have heard the EXCUSE that "a woman's body is pictured as a beautiful creation when the males is a very harsh picture" but fuck that. That's bull shit.

I never see a man advertising something. It's always the woman with her hands up and pointing to the object for sale with a huge fake smile on her face. So, to me you have it alot better with only the Viagra commerical.

^^^Sorry, that might sound a little bitchy. I am/was in a bad mood.

People have sued Enzyte, not because it is annoying, but becasue it doesn't work. There is no chemical way (or any at all, really) to permanently increase your penis size.

I would like the make that Enzyte bastard eat his own goddamn penis. Half of the infomercials I see late at night are for some miracle drug that "increases penis size and stamina." I think that the reason why there is so much goddamn advertizment for that kinda shit is because guys are so fucking selfish when it comes to penis size. It seems like no matter how big a guy is he could always "use another half-inch" or so.

Those commercials are aimed at men over 55 who'd take out a second mortgage if they could triumph over their impotence, real or imagined. Of course they use young, healthy models for the ads, since people are vulnerable to advertising psychology and actually believe they will be like that young stud, and possibly begin to look a bit like him, too.

No one here needs that stuff.

Just don't look! Just don't look!

(yes, another Simpsons reference)

What's that tune, on the Enzyte commercials?

Well, anyways, Adult Swim (late night cartoon network show) decided to use it. My back was turned, and I go and think that an Enzyte commercial is on, so I go to turn the TV to cartoon network (because I thought I was on the history channel when Futura Rama is on) and then it turns back to the show.

That freaked me out, and then I laughed for ten minutes straight.

Yeah, no real relevance, thank Binary I'm not a Borg.

I'm wondering why the folks at Viagra and Levitra haven't contracted the use of the song "Twice as Hard As It Was The First Time" by The Black Crows for their theme song.

*Warning: Long post. Don't be a bitch about it. Nobody's making you read this. This is what happens when I put effort into my Totse threads. I can do it in much fewer words, I'm sure, but see, I'm tweaking, and hard. Slag me if you want, but I ain't going to lie. And no, it's not cool. Stay away. Always wear clean underwear.*

I hate seeing guys who get confused and insecure about the penis issue. There is a paradox concerning penis size that causes the problem. Allow me:

-Men are told "it's not the size, but what you do with it". This is indeed true. However:

-Size does matter. In my experience, people can be shallow, and sadly, most women DO enjoy a bigger dick. However, most women also say that it's "not size, but use". I've even heard "Size matters" and "Not size, but use" from the same woman.

-Therefore, size both DOES and DOES NOT matter. As I said, a paradox. There are other factors, though:

-Any given societal observation made about humanity can be pictured as one big, fucked-up Venn diagram: Patterns can be noted, and humanity can trend in one direction, but there are always people who contradict it; always an exception to the pattern, always a dissenter, always an overlapping of this vs. that. There never will be, either, not among man: Expecting all to be of the same school of thought and be united under any one entity's ideals is communistic and impossible for humankind. Only machines and automatons can be made to unite under one ideal, and be content with it; they have no minds, souls, or ideals. There is a certain beauty and contentment in the idea of such a unity, but it's not possible, as long as we remain how we are. But I digress: It's because of this ever-present X factor that penis size becomes a problem.

There is no absolute answer to whether size matters or if it's the use, not the size, because people differ the way they do, as outlined above. Your size might be great to 9 girls out of ten, even if you're big, but there's always that 1 out of the 9 who thinks you're a meathead who has size, but can't perform. Conversely, 9 out of 10 women may make fun of your 4-inch string-cheese dick, but there is that 1 of the 10 who has some sexual depth, who feels that you're an admirable and real person who can be content with himself and has learned to compromise for lack of penis size in other ways. These people can be the best lovers of all, and many (again, not all) women will agree with me. (Right, ladies? C'mon, don't fuck up my shit )

So, what's a guy to do? How's he supposed to decide whether he wants to believe that size matters, or if it's use, and not size?

The answer: Be proud and confident in what you have, and content with it. You can never please everyone, but you can always please someone, no matter what you're packing. If you're 4 inches, people may give you shit in your lifetime, but you'll meet someone who considers you the biggest (spiritually) man of all, because you're at peace with yourself, and because you know how to be a good lover (if not, you can learn; sex is art, not science, but again, patterns and trends exist and are valuable). If you're a huge-cocked porn star in the making, you can be as sure of yourself as you like, and I'm sure you get laid plenty, but you'll never know if she's fucking you because she truly loves you for you and respects you, or if you're just a big piece of meat for her shallow being to indulge in; you'll be at war with yourself over this for a long time, unless you learn to enrapture and impress a woman with your character, not your meat. Contentment IS to be found for every type of male, and there IS actually an answer to this paradox (oxymoronic, yes): Confidence in and contentment with yourself, and then the size of your dick.

So don't be so insecure, and let soulless marketers play into you. Learn to remind yourself that if someone's shallow enough to judge you based on your penis size (huge or small), they're not worth your time...unless you are just as shallow. It's very zen. And usually easier said than done. But salvation lies within it.



Ok, you can fire off at me some kvetch about how I must be small-dicked, or how I think I know it all, or whatever. I don't know it all, and the information I related about society and it's patterns, and the answer to the dick issue is not my personal opinion, but truth: society's a fucking huge Venn diagram, and trying to please everyone is impossible, is basically what I said, and that's true, both in my experience and in it's meaning. But, take it as you will; just trying to offer some perspective, and even possibly help someone who might be at war with themselves over the cock thing, but hey, I'm no philanthropist: you'll figure out on your own, anyway, so it's fine if you think my post isn't true, but just realize it's not opinion, so I'm not playing the all-knowing bastard who thinks he has it all figured out. I don't, but I'll relate what I can and where.

That said, I've mentioned my dick size before, so you may know, but posting it here would trivialize my point, like quantifying things always does. If you HAVE to know, ask me on AIM or something. No, I'm not supermassive nor am I small. And that's cool with me. Oh, and Viagra indeed improved my longevity beyond normal levels, but I'd feel cheap if I used it all the time. If I don't last long enough for someone, that's what my tongue is for. If she wants to bitch about it, she can fuck off. Sure it sucks, to know you're sexually-incompatible with hot bitch A, but console yourself in the knowledge that you're right up Italian chick B's sweet little alley.



-Infrared, pseudo-philosopher/sociologist/psychologist/philanthropist/altruist/long-winded motherfucker/objectivist/cynic/asshole/freak/tweaker/altruist/annoying advisory type in general...hey, 'least I never try to tell you my opinions are law. And I have a BS degree (cough) in all the professions listed. But I might do well in any of those fields, who knows. 'Nother story. Medicine's been good to me.

Oh, and yes, I have fun, too: I'm the type who will give you serious advice and then go get drunk and high and whistle at girls with you.

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 05-20-2004).]

I love erectile disfuncion commercials.



I mean, how much phallic advertising can they FIT into 30 seconds?!

Ballerina, you're right. Both genders have a legitimate gripe about the shit that's advertised. It's a good thing someone brought that up to put the whole thing into perspective.

I'd say it's a tossup for which is more annoying, the enzyte ads, or the tampon ads where the tampon is used to do something really clever like plug a hole in a boat. I don't want to see that, and I'm sure no one else does either.

quote:Originally posted by Prometheus:

Ballerina, you're right. Both genders have a legitimate gripe about the shit that's advertised. It's a good thing someone brought that up to put the whole thing into perspective.

I'd say it's a tossup for which is more annoying, the enzyte ads, or the tampon ads where the tampon is used to do something really clever like plug a hole in a boat. I don't want to see that, and I'm sure no one else does either.

Lmao. Me either, or dump your WHOLE purse out on the table infront of your boyfriend on a date, and OOPS! I forgot I had a tampon in there. Oh, well ITS SUGAR! Who carries SUGAR in their purse? Maybe Mary Poppins because she has a magical purse that can fit a lamp and other stuff in there, but not me.

Smart and funny. Marry me?

Just kidding, but IM me some time. I go by Prometheansky on AIM.