I spend a great deal of time with my ex, we still live in the same apartment, sleep in the same bed, go out to movies together, we even have a healthy sex life... basically we share a pseudo relationship. Even though I do still love him, there aren't many strings attached and it's based on friendship, but it's just what I need to get me by during this pregnancy thing.

I think he's coming out of the funk he was in as well. He's getting out more, taking interest in his old hobbies, he seems to be a much happier person. He's TONS more fun to be around now, even his friends have noticed this and commented on it to me. At the same time he has also become lots more supportive of the baby and I. His outlook has changed and it seems like he is really looking forward to the experience... seems maybe even more than I am sometimes.

It's the life I always wanted with the man I always imagined... it just doesn't really belong to me... it's only a temporary situation. The saying "All good things must come to an end" couldn't be more true... and such a harsh reality.

"How could you be happy with a guy after all the scumbag shit he pulled?! You're a dumb bitch!"

Nobody is perfect, everyone goes through hard times. I can't honestly say I would've been able to handle the things he went through any better than he did.

"You're just letting yourself get used for sex and treated like a doormat!"

If anything it's the other way around, for awhile there he asked that we not be sexually involved. He got it in his head that the sex was giving me false hope, and it took some explaining to reassure him that sex was nothing more than a comfort to me, and only a meany would deny a pregnant woman sex. It's kinda cute actually, whenever I get stressed or grumpy he and his massive todge come to my rescue.

I'm so content, we're getting along so well... but as soon as I'm able I have to move out on my own, I have to give up my happiness for the sake of his... that's what you do for someone you love... right? But... I don't want to. How bloody selfish. I'd actually rather ruin his life by staying in it, just to preserve my own quality of life...

I feel like shit for that... I always thought I was more generous and caring than that. I'll do what I have to do because it's the right thing, but I'll be fighting myself every inch.

... and my replacement, words cannot describe the loathing I will have toward the woman who will more than fill my place, who will get everything I've always wanted... she'll never be as in love with him as I have been, she will never appreciate him as much as I do... I will hate her for being what he wants instead of me, for being somehow better than I am, for being able to make him happy without hardly lifting a finger when I can't manage to do it no matter how desperately I try... and I'll have to hide it... god, I am fucking sick!

I enjoyed reading that, thank you.

PS- I love that word-todge.

*Gives Sarcy a hug because the three times he tried replying to her post he failed to find the correct words to say what he is trying to convey*

Sarc, you probably know exactly what is going on better than any of us here so no use preaching to the choir... it sounds to me like you need some confirmation and encouragement.

I've followed most of your posts, and replied to some if I felt I had anything to offer. I sort of stepped back from replying for the fact that you never really acknowledged my replies, hence making me feel like I wasn't helping you much.

It seems to me you two were really happy in the beginning and his feelings changed dramatically. I think back to the 'shower' incident where you accidentally overheard Ben and the other guy (can't remember his name) talking, that turned the tables on your perception of his loyalties. And the bitch (can't remember her name either) that treated you so coldly as a result.

I see you talk about Ben and how great it could/should be, but your depiction of him says he somewhere lost the thread of love he once felt. He's being supportive now, more so than he has been (when you were posting about a floor to sleep on if someone in NZ had one to offer), but he's trying to be not-an-asshole, if he's doing this and wanting you to move on when you're able.

The being close and having sex is good for you and hopefully enjoyable for both of you in the meantime. It would be nice to know the child came first, whichever direction the two of you take. I don't know if you mentioned coming back to the states but if memory serves me correctly you feel that your family has basically disowned you, which I think may be a perceived exaggeration. But I don't know your family. If they would disown you over your choices you've made they aren't worthy of calling family. My family loves me to death and I'm infinitely more of a fuck-up than you could ever be.

Anyway, time heals and you will find someone to be happy with beyond the Ben era.. if that doesn't pan out. Infrared really likes you.

Seriously though, you'll do fine, you're a fighter, not a quitter from what I've seen. My best of luck to you kiddo, from the heart.

-Extant

I guess you're the stronger one. No telling how I'd handle the same situation..even though mine is different, but a lot of the same shit ravages my mind.

Take care, sarc.

How the fuck can you have an ex that you sleep with? Live with? and go out with?

To me that sounds like your fucking lying to yourselves.

I hate when people say their broken up but do the exact same thing as always. As if the word "together" means shit.

Anyways, you sound dumb and I hope you give your baby up for adoption so it actually has a chance to have a normal life and not live in your dysfunctional hell hole.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

How the fuck can you have an ex that you sleep with? Live with? and go out with?

To me that sounds like your fucking lying to yourselves.

I hate when people say their broken up but do the exact same thing as always. As if the word "together" means shit.

Anyways, you sound dumb and I hope you give your baby up for adoption so it actually has a chance to have a normal life and not live in your dysfunctional hell hole.



You've made your point, and it has it's validity based on what information is available. It's cold-hearted nevertheless. It makes me wonder why you bother 'contributing' to this forum when the majority of people here are trying to help each other, not diss each other.

You obviously got the 'game' down. Tell us of your successes so we can be as fruitful in life as you. We really want to know.

-Extant

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

and only a meany would deny a pregnant woman sex.

You crack me up.

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

You crack me up.





C'mon Easy... you're one of the few here in S&A that gives respectable posts. Don't downplay your talent for advice now.

Hi, I'm new, but I thought I'd give you a small bit of advice. All I can really say here, is whatever you do, make sure you are putting yourself and the baby first and foremost. You and the baby are your main priority here, and you need to do what's best for the both of you. Keep that in mind. And good luck with everything, hun.

[This message has been edited by Nickums (edited 05-12-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Nickums:

Hi, I'm new, but I thought I'd give you a small bit of advice. All I can really say here, is whatever you do, make sure you are putting yourself and the baby first and foremost. You and the baby are your main priority here, and you need to do what's best for the both of you. Keep that in mind. And good luck with everything, hun.



You're obviously new. Nickums, meet Sarc. She's great, you'll come to know her. But you don't need to worry about her, she's got a good head on her shoulders, and she's got her priorities right. (most of the time ) That kid of hers is one lucky little fetus.



[This message has been edited by nocuous (edited 05-12-2004).]

CarbonB - when you graduate gradeschool you may begin to understand that there are certain complexities in life and things are not always just black and white.

A strong friendship can include sex, without the sex turning it into anything more. Sometimes it is just about mutual satisfaction and fullfilment of a need. Two people can care for each other a great deal without being romantically invested.

At any rate, this kid will have 2 educated, well-rounded, hard-working, successful parents who love him very much and care about each other, and that's a lot more than most kids have these days. I'm sure he'll be just fine, but thanks for your concern.

Extant, I'm sorry! I never meant to give the impression that I wasn't listening or that your posts weren't helpful. You've given me tons of re-assurement when I really needed it! If I were more the ass-kissing type I would've dedicated a thread to you. Sorry, I just try to say what I have to say and then try to limit replies to my own threads, I don't even know why.

It's not that he's trying not to be an asshole, because he's not naturally an asshole, it's just that the asshole is finally out of his system. I'm not the only one who has noticed that for the most part he's back to his old self.

I think I'm partly pissed off because I remained loyal and loving through the asshole phase, yet I still lose out in the long run to some clueless little bitch who hasn't had to do any hard time and who doesn't have the added bonus of raising a child... it's a bloody injustice and it makes me want to smash things, I could seriously demolish an entire crockery section in a department store in under 15 minutes.

ARRRrrrrRRrrrGH!

quote:Originally posted by nocuous:

You're obviously new. Nickums, meet Sarc. She's great, you'll come to know her. But you don't need to worry about her, she's got a good head on her shoulders, and she's got her priorities right. (most of the time ) That kid of hers is one lucky little fetus.

[This message has been edited by nocuous (edited 05-12-2004).]

Hi! So very nice to meet you! Sarc, I hope everything turns our well in the end. Nocuous, thank you for the formal introduction. :-)

Yeah I'm sure it will be a great conversation explaining why me and daddy are not "together".

He's my ex. So basically he's a bastard child?

Bastard children are always the first to get harassed in school and I would love to introduce him to this.

Gradeschool, it's ovbious to you and me both that I am not in Gradeschool and you know this.

Atleast my comments have actually fact behind them rather then just pregnant rambling.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Yeah I'm sure it will be a great conversation explaining why me and daddy are not "together".

He's my ex. So basically he's a bastard child?

Bastard children are always the first to get harassed in school and I would love to introduce him to this.

Gradeschool, it's ovbious to you and me both that I am not in Gradeschool and you know this.

Atleast my comments have actually fact behind them rather then just pregnant rambling.

Dude, you are way too harsh. Haven't you ever heard the expression, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?" It applies after grade school as well. Cut her some slack. As a matter of fact, out of every thread I've read, all of your replies are nasty. Are you incapable of making an intelligent, humane comment?

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Gradeschool, it's ovbious to you and me both that I am not in Gradeschool and you know this.

God, you're right... What was I thinking! Pre-school then.

You know, Sarc, even if you did stay with him, he would slip back into his funk, probably a worse one. You would both be miserable and raising a child together. Doesn't sound too healthy.

Also: I understand your need for sex, but it won't make the slitting up any easier. Try a Pocket Rocket. *Bzzzzzz*.

P.S. When are we gonna get a naked preggy Sarc pic?!?

quote:Originally posted by Little Pea:

You know, Sarc, even if you did stay with him, he would slip back into his funk, probably a worse one. You would both be miserable and raising a child together. Doesn't sound too healthy.

Also: I understand your need for sex, but it won't make the slitting up any easier. Try a Pocket Rocket. *Bzzzzzz*.

P.S. When are we gonna get a naked preggy Sarc pic?!?



His funk /our funk was caused by the initial shock of cohabitation. We've adapted to living together very peacefully, thus solving the source of the problems. Were it not for our history we'd be the ideal couple, by anyone's standards (and I, personally, have very high standards).

Since I won't be getting any after the baby is born (don't want to risk another one) I'm getting all that I can in the meantime... and while masturbation is good, there is no substitute for a good root.

As for the pic, I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror, I wouldn't inflict that kind of visual torture on you guys.

quote:Originally posted by Extant:



C'mon Easy... you're one of the few here in S&A that gives respectable posts. Don't downplay your talent for advice now.

She has received my advice before. I really don't think she wants it now, and it was funny. I am not one to go over the same crisis over and over. If I do come up with something new to say when reading her future posts, I will say it.

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

...As for the pic, I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror, I wouldn't inflict that kind of visual torture on you guys.

Well, some people consider a pregnant woman to be a very beautiful and natural sight. Dunno how many of those kind of people are on TOTSE, but I rekon that there are quite a few people that would like to see another naked pic of you whilst pregnant.

Come on guys, gimme some support here .

quote:Originally posted by Little Pea:

Come on guys, gimme some support here .

He has a point, Sarcy...

Have you got a bloody great strap-on, to use on a bent-over-Ben? You won't have the chance

for much longer, make the most of it. Give him whatfor. Ream 'im so well, your replacer

is a man.

Are you gonna Web-cast the birth? In stereo surround sound? Interactive? So you

can hear us all yell *Push*? *I can see the head* *No!* *Yes* *No* *Yes*

sarc i dont give advice on boyfriend girlfriend stuff so, hello hows it goin? hope your babys doing ok, and i wouldnt mind seeing that picture

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Anyways, you sound dumb and I hope you give your baby up for adoption so it actually has a chance to have a normal life and not live in your dysfunctional hell hole.

Heaven forbid, else he might end up like you. Empathy, compassion, patience and tolerance: all such valued qualities that you lack in such vast amounts. How you criticise anybody else with such obscene faults is laughable.

[This message has been edited by jca- (edited 05-12-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

Have you got a bloody great strap-on, to use on a bent-over-Ben? You won't have the chance

for much longer, make the most of it. Give him whatfor. Ream 'im so well, your replacer

is a man.

Are you gonna Web-cast the birth? In stereo surround sound? Interactive? So you

can hear us all yell *Push*? *I can see the head* *No!* *Yes* *No* *Yes*



Research chemicals r bad.

Infra, have you been talkin'to Kief? Ol' Kief

Richards? He be just a bad influence, him & Mick. Stick with Jerry Hall, she might be a granny but she's hot. (Well, it's prob hot flashes, but hot!).

Maybe she can help keep you staight.It didn't

work with Mick, but while she's busy with her

little project, you can hit on her daughter.

Who is much hotter, as daughts tend to be.

Sarc + Infra. If you two got together, you could each be with other but be pining for your exes. It would be a safe topic to use to

avoid your couple issues.

You'd talk about Her& she'd talk about

Him. It would be great!

[This message has been edited by moonmeister (edited 05-12-2004).]

Have you ever heard Keith Richards laugh?

If not, just imagine the sound of the "Sanchez" dirtbike from GTA: Vice City, about 4 octaves deeper.

It's nice to see, that you've got some coool

sympathy for that devil. Me I tend to think that ol' Kief & Eric Clapton went through their big H addiction about the same time & their music wasn't quite as good after.

People do change with age & time, but... I do

wonder.

Keith's voice changed, for sure.

Listen to that song he sang called "Happy", back in the day, and then that one..I forgot the name of it, but it's at the end of "40 Licks".

I think it's more the smoking than the smack, though.

Die bastard child.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Die bastard child.

You are a fucking horrible person. How old are you, anyway?

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Die bastard child.

What kind of tool bumps a thread to say that? Just fuck off. No one likes you.

When i last checked i myself and probably some of you others were lving in a free country granting us freedom of speech.

But as far as the baby goes. Why would anyone in the rotten mind think of insulting another persons child?

in the world today Sarc isn't the only person to undergo the stresses that she is undergoing right now. She is most likely struggling through her own emotional meltdowns with having to deal with her still-loved-ex and what will happen when the child finally arrives.

I myself feel sorry for the types of struggles that Sarc is going through, i try to avoid those kind of situations but others can't. It's just who they are. And to just go and insult them after all they've been through. the kindest way i can phrase my comment right now is, " for shame."

*Sarc, best of luck with your child and the fiasco you are traveling through right now. and if your Christian.(which i'm not) then as many Christians say, "God bless you."

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Die bastard child.

Silly fascist, you have more faults than that child ever could dream of having.

Wow all the insights of the Totse members have straighten'd me out and made me a better man.

Lol, PLEASE NIGGAS!

I am as old as I want to be, as old as you think I am, and only as old as it takes to get on a computer.

You can call me 5, 6, 7, 8. Even call me 10 I really don't give a shit becuase I know the truth.

Anyways, the child is a bastard and what is the harm in calling him the correct name?

If someone is obese isn't it right to refer to them as obese?

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Wow all the insights of the Totse members have straighten'd me out and made me a better man.

Lol, PLEASE NIGGAS!

I am as old as I want to be, as old as you think I am, and only as old as it takes to get on a computer.

You can call me 5, 6, 7, 8. Even call me 10 I really don't give a shit becuase I know the truth.

Anyways, the child is a bastard and what is the harm in calling him the correct name?

If someone is obese isn't it right to refer to them as obese?

And if someone's a twat you call them a twat, yet you seem to complain...

hey hey...im sorry but i dont really have much to offer u in an obviously stressful time of your life...errr....all i can say is that are you sure this is the right environment for you to be bringin up a child in???

its jus a bit sterotypical of all the situations you hear of children become "problem childs"...again jus a thought but it is the way i can understand with the information i have seen!!!

write back if any major problems!!!

quote:Originally posted by Little Pea:

Well, some people consider a pregnant woman to be a very beautiful and natural sight. Dunno how many of those kind of people are on TOTSE, but I rekon that there are quite a few people that would like to see another naked pic of you whilst pregnant.

Come on guys, gimme some support here .

There was a FIRST naked sarc pic? Shit, someone email me that..hehe.

And Sarc, you're not ugly, it's the way nature wants it, you're art!

~es

Post got deleted again, I think it went something along the lines of calling something a bastard?

Anyone catch it?

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Bastard children are always the first to get harassed in school and I would love to introduce him to this

Where the hell do you go to school? I'm a bastard child, no matter how much my mom denies it. Along with a lot of people I know.

Oh, and Sarc good luck with the kid. You seem like you'll be a good mom.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Post got deleted again, I think it went something along the lines of calling something a bastard?

Anyone catch it?

"Anyone catch it"? No one cares about your shitty posts.

I thought you were just a piece of shit, but it turns out you're obtuse and stupid, too.

You mean the 3-word post about 8-9 posts up, that was quoted 3 times?

Quit crying like a little bitch. Your terribly important opinions are still there. You're even stupider than jackinmyhat.

Besides, you disgrace yourself every time you post. None of us moderators would want to deprive you of your continued ability to do so. As far as what you have to say, it's all shit and no one cares. Big deal.

While I'm here, I'll mention this. It occurred to me that the only reason you post here is because people ask for help here more than in any other totse forum. People asking for help are easy targets for your anger. You don't have the balls to pull your shitty opinions out of your ass in, say Politics, or Humanities, or even Spurious. You couldn't take the flames. You're no better than a rapist who targets toddlers and the elderly.

And in regard to what you remarked above, in no way am I "trying to make a better person of you". You're way too fucked in the head to be helped, bitch.

[This message has been edited by deadlycindy (edited 05-14-2004).]

Wow...

Just wow...

EDiT: <A HREF="http://img54.photobucket.com/albums/v165/guswut/deadlyCindyOwnedYou.jpg">http://img54.photobucket.com/albums/v165/guswut/deadlyCindyOwnedYou.jpg" width="90" height="90 (http://img54.photobucket.com/albums/v165/guswut/deadlyCindyOwnedYou.jpg" width="90" height="90)</A>

[This message has been edited by Gustave (edited 05-14-2004).]

<A HREF="http://www.xbase01.com/uploads/files/owned.gif">http://www.xbase01.com/uploads/files/owned.gif" width="90" height="90 (http://www.xbase01.com/uploads/files/owned.gif" width="90" height="90)</A>

..Just pretend that says "you were just owned by deadlycindy!!!1" and it's her head pasted on my body.

Here we are... (http://saymail.sympatico.ca/card/PSy_VKIL2bgjBmslMrMkvG)

[This message has been edited by Gustave (edited 05-14-2004).]

Ehhh... carbonb is entitled to his opinions. I guess that's what open forums are all about. It's pretty obvious no one takes him seriously and he is here to wreak havoc in an otherwise helpful forum. While some of us are here to try and help, there will always be some that have the shit attitude towards life and being helpful in general.. like him that need to be ignored.

Doesn't matter in the long run, we know who are the voices that people listen to and who are the trolls.

The point is the ones asking for help don't have to filter out the asswipes to get their helpful advice, just ignore posts from let's say, Nihilism, mrman, and carbon.