ok so im gonna post this because i need the advice, even the flames, if thats what it will take to get the hell over this guy...so here goes- i met this guy 4 years ago, ill call him punkass, for the the sake of this post, and we get together and we move in and were are best friends and we have a kid and we make a family.(no picket fence but you get the idea) and its all good for three years then one day he up and disappears for 5 days. just gone. find out later hes out doing dope and all around hiding from me. and so i find punk ass and hes sorry and he comes home and its all good for a while then he does it again...and again and finally the last time he literally goes out for smokes and doesnt come back for 28 days. 28 days. this time hes running dope for some chick in the ghetto and no he isnt fizucking her...dizick doesnt work on the shizit, you know. so now punkass has the guilties and takes it out on me. (who, by the way, has never been a door mat in her life until this punk ass rolls into it)ok so needless to say i finally just leave him because punkass finally does have a blonde dish on the side who think hes "so awesome" ( and that is a direct quote)and i just dont like to share, you know? to make a long post longer...they are having a baby in august and we only split for good in february. so how do i stop thinking about this guy? i mean he was my best friend, or so i thought and now i just want to stop missing him. i know that i am so much better than that. i want to stop wanting him. im thinking if i can just go have some good goddam sex elsewhere then at least he wouldnt be the last one i remember, you know what i mean? but i am not the one night stand kinda girl and to be totally honest, i dont want to start now...i mean i love a good round of hot sweaty sex but ill want it more than just once and thats hard to cum by. lol. and i havent even come to a decision yet if i should have him beat to a pulp for doing me so dirty, even if that isnt my preference. but i am so flipping tired of being understanding and nice and too goddamned good.



now boys i am neither fat nor ugly so gimme a break ok? girls, especially, some input please...and i know youre out there - i can't be the only one whos been lurking around not saying anything.

ok, all, lets hear it.

[This message has been edited by so_bored247 (edited 05-11-2004).]

Ok, Guy here. Umm.. first off.. Lets just say he's a scum bag. Don't let yourself crack and go running back to him. He's too far gone, and if anything, you should take the kid, and get full custody. A child of any age needn't be in the presence of a doper.

As for the hurt, I can only surmise that you have to wait it out. You'll get over him. I know it's cheesy and over-used, but it's true. It may seem like it will never go away, but you have many things to look up to in your life. You have a child. If you want revenge, then take him to court and suck his wallet dry. He deserves it.

I don't think you should stop being "understanding and nice and too goddamned good." those are good traits. So someone abused your good heart; those are hard traits to come by in our times. It would be a shame to see them lost from another person because of a moron who couldn't see a great thing when he had it. Just be strong, and spend time with your friends. Get out and do things.

Just don't let yourself dwell on it.

Good Luck, and have some fun You deserve it.

I hear were your coming from, sort of in the same situation, but mine is still around won't leave, you need to give it time it will get better, you also need to keep reminding yourself that he is scum and you can do better.

Focus on your child and those traits you mentioned, not everyone has them, but everyone wants them, and go out and have some fun.

thank you both very much. had a feeling not many would post. i appreciate your replies and for giving a damn about a stranger.

omg the latest in my little drama is that his girlfriend is now calling me for help and relationship advice because punkass is in jail. lol. can you imagine the balls on this bi**h? or the colossal stupidity! which ever is more appropriate. sheesh

listen: you or your child need nothing he can offer. obviously nothing is going to change, and things are just going to get worse for him (but not you). you dont even need to get him beat up or anything. even though I dont believe in spiritual crap or anything like that, I DO believe in Karma, because people act differently based on thier previous actions. this influences later events and interactions with other people. he does something assholy *huge chain reaction* bingo-bango life kicks him REALLY hard in the balls.

so try to remember, he'll get his, and you'll get yours (but the good kind of 'get it') for putting up with his shit, and keeping your child safe. I say you purge your life of anyhting that has to do with him (except the kid of course), and start over. he is not a part of you, and you dont need him. go out and meet someone new, and start a new life with a happier ending.

good luck.

There will always be guys like that out there who just suck you in to their downward spiral. And that's exactly how you have to think of him- just do an about-face, and lock him out (literally and emotionally).

What will you do one day when he's on your doorstep, miserable and looking so cute and pityable, saying that it's over between him and blondie? (and yet another fatherless child) And when he starts swearing how he's gonna change? How he IS changed?

You're in danger for two reasons. One, for what i mentioned above, him running back to you and screwing up your life, and two, you falling for a similar type of guy. Charismatic, passionate, and bad news.

Once i find out that a guy is bad news, i don't even return his calls. I know it sounds cruel, but it's kinder, because you don't even get to know them better and get sucked in.

YOU'RE not selling dope, fucking around and misdemeanoring yourself into jail, so why should you miss out on the partying, and still suffer the consequences? If you're a good girl, then reap the benefits of being a good girl.

Fuck that bitch! Just move away. FAR away, if you can. Don't get sucked into his shitty little life. You just have to cut him (and his girlfriend) off and leave him in the past.

quote:Originally posted by Little Pea:

Fuck that bitch! Just move away. FAR away, if you can. Don't get sucked into his shitty little life. You just have to cut him (and his girlfriend) off and leave him in the past.



After you're getting bare loot off his wages for your kid, dig?