Good song; the original, I mean. Sheryl Crowe's cover was "meh" - added something different, but the original was best. But I digress.

Have you found this - "the first cut is the deepest" - to be true for you? Was your first love really your most profound? Even if you're in love now, do you ever sit back and wonder "what would it have been like if (name) and I had stayed together.."? Was your first love really the deepest "cut"? "Cut" is kind of a bad term; it's indicative of something negative, which I'm not talking about right now; I'll get to that. But - was your first love really the most profound?

Now, the negative: Was LOSING your first love really the most profound, exquisitely painful, long-lasting cut of your life? Even with your current love, do you still feel the pain of the dissolution of your first love just as profoundly as you did when it all happened?

Do all the memories remain?

Do all the feelings remain?

Does even the love itself remain, in some vague and unspoken form?

Is your first love ever really over?

Please contribute. No, you don't have to answer it all, or anything.

As for myself - the first cut was the deepest. But subsequent cuts were no less profound or soul-damaging.

-Infrared

I don't have much to add here. I just want to say that that little hussy's version of the song shouldn't even be thought of as being in the same fucking league as Cat Stevens's. I mean, honestly, what the fuck is wrong with her. "When it comes to loving me he's worst" What in the fucking hell? That's not only not the lyric, it's also not gramatically correct! And she cut out a very important line: "But when it comes to being loved, she's first". Actually, she didn't. Rod Stewart did. But that's not the point. He didn't totally fucking butcher the thing. Apparently he had some reason regarding his ex wife or something... whatever, I don't know. But she didn't have the same reason as he did. She had no reason other than the fact that she's a complete dumbass. I bet you could ask her who originally did the song and she would have no fucking idea that it was Cat Stevens!!!!! Fuck!

Edit: to stay on topic, I'll answer the question. I don't think my first boyfriend (I don't know if it was really love) was really too profound or had much of a lasting impact on me. My second real boyfriend (first time I thought I was in love with a boyfriend) hurt me really bad. But the pain went away and now that he wants me back, I just sort of feel bad for him that he can't find anyone else. Now, the first guy I think I was really really in love with might have had a serious impact. He was my first kiss. He was probably my first real best friend who I could talk about anything with. And our whole relationship was pretty tough. The end was especially. We still kind of talk, and I was on the phone with him during my first mushroom trip (you remember that). But we're not in the same place we were. I still think about him and how I used to feel. I think the way I felt about him will always sort of stay with me.

[This message has been edited by GlitterPunk112358 (edited 05-10-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Have you found this - "the first cut is the deepest" - to be true for you?

Yes and no. If I can use an analogy, it is like a rollercoaster. (I love coasters ) The first ride is probably not the most intense you will ever be on, and it will probably not be the best, but since you are new at it, in some ways it is uniquely intense. The newness leaves your senses more vulnerable and it makes a better impression on you than it would have otherwise.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Was your first love really your most profound?

No.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Even if you're in love now, do you ever sit back and wonder "what would it have been like if (name) and I had stayed together.."?

Sure, but not in a way that causes any grief or anything like that.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Was your first love really the deepest "cut"?

In some ways, yes. I have had closer relationships since then, but for the first time I did not have the experience to handle the pain or to see the end coming. I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel because getting thru something like that is something you have to experience for yourself. You can get guidance from someone, but it is not the same thing. Being able to handle a broken heart situation is a skill like any other. It is important to learn how to do it, because otherwise fear of it will prevent you from opening up again. There are some that never open up and never give themselves a chance to feel a broken heart, so they do not mature in this area of their lives and they are not capable of playing for keeps. I think that is sad, but if it works for someone, that is their call.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Now, the negative: Was LOSING your first love really the most profound, exquisitely painful, long-lasting cut of your life?

I was not prepared to do damage control so yes, it did hurt the most. I am sure if you asked me then, I would use similar terms to the ones you are using, but looking back now, I think that would be being a bit over dramatic.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Even with your current love, do you still feel the pain of the dissolution of your first love just as profoundly as you did when it all happened?



No.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Do all the memories remain?



Enough.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:



Do all the feelings remain?



No. They are too intense to last that long. Some feelings you will never lose, but you can handle those.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Does even the love itself remain, in some vague and unspoken form?



There will be something left. Depending on the circumstances you may always love or hate her. But it is not what you are feeling at first.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Is your first love ever really over?

No. Not completely, but you can find closure.



[This message has been edited by Easy Going (edited 05-10-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Was LOSING your first love really the most profound, exquisitely painful, long-lasting cut of your life?



Okay, I've decided to answer in more detain since reading Easy's post. The second boyfriend I spoke of earlier really did hurt a lot. In fact, he left literal deep cuts. And I'm reminded of him every time I look at my left arm. I guess it's sort of like what Easy said about just not being ready for that kind of pain. Looking back, the kind of feelings I had for this guy were pretty superficial. We never really connected on a deeper level. But I guess I felt like we did. Even though it was only a little more than a year ago (remember how young I am), it's hard to remember that kind of pain. It was just so intense. I didn't try to kill myself, in case you're wondering about the cuts. ...at least I don't think that was my goal. There's something about that serious pain that just makes it so hard to relate to or remember later. ...I don't know if this is really the place to go on about this guy

quote:Does even the love itself remain, in some vague and unspoken form?

Like I said earlier, I kind of see this old boyfriend guy as pathetic nowadays. I have no desire to ever get back with him even though I know I could. But something really weird happened last time I was with him. We hadn't seen eachother in forever, and when we did we acted just like before we broke up. The same stupid flirty kind of shit. The way he held me ...it was like nothing had changed. And we kissed just like before. It was pretty weird. I still didn't like him or want him back, but it was like the old me was still there and still wanting him... or something. With the other guy -the best friend guy- I definitely have old love feelings towards him. I still feel like he might be the only person in the world who I can talk to in that way. Like he's the only one who could ever make me that happy.

As a sidenote, I just experienced my first online love rejection: http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum3/HTML/028774-4.html

I'm gonna go cry now

Don't cry, can't we talk this out?

Oww! Don't throw that at m- Oww!!

No, not the lamp, I love that lam--- Owww!

No!! Not the computer!! I need that to keep me alive!!

... NOOOOO!!!!!

*fades away in a puff of smoke*

*cackles*

quote:Originally posted by GlitterPunk112358:



I'm gonna go cry now

You've still got me, darling.

The first cunt is the deepest. It was excellent...now it's owner. What a ill raised

spawn of Satan.

I still remember It though.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Was your first love really the deepest "cut"? "Cut" is kind of a bad term; it's indicative of something negative

-infrared

lets refer to it as cunt then shall we?

"the first cunt is the deepest"

hmm doesnt have the same ring..

I'm bored, I think I'll masturbate.

me too.

Infra, thou art very melodramatic.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Have you found this - "the first cut is the deepest" - to be true for you? Was your first love really your most profound? Even if you're in love now, do you ever sit back and wonder "what would it have been like if (name) and I had stayed together.."?

That's a difficult question to answer. My first relationship didn't have an impact on me. We went out for less than three weeks. After having sex- after taking her virginity from her, and giving her mine- she dumped me. For a boy. it kinda stung, but I'm over it. She tasted *horrible* anyway.

That obviously wasn't love. I don't think I've ever been in *love*. I've been infatuated, of course. Smitten. The closest I've come to love was abandoning my family and dropping out of school to be with one of the few women I could carry on a conversation with. Or rather, one of the few women I found worth listening to. My partner was a debate team champion and would talk you to death, but at least she had interesting things to say.

It was doomed. I looked up to her, relied on her. She was my therapist and spiritual advisor- roles she never asked for. Plus, she was unemployable, which put a strain on things.

Do I regret it ending? Not really. We were shockingly miserable when we were living together. I lost a girlfriend and gained the closest friend I've ever had. We're both more together now as a result of our paths crossing. We talk once every two weeks, at the very least.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

As for myself - the first cut was the deepest. But subsequent cuts were no less profound or soul-damaging.

bingo, that's how it's been for me. hell, i'm nursing a freshly broken heart right now. yup, been single and uber depressed for two weeks as of today. breakups never get better with time, even though you learn to hide the hurt better. it sucks so much.

Sorry to hear that, Scarlet. I really am. And yes, I DO know how it feels. I've not much of a heart left to break anymore, though, so now things damage the soul instead. Yes, Schraff, maybe I'm being melodramatic, but what can I say?

I'd go with first break up being the hardest. Going out with a bitch for 2 years, in the last month she blows me off on my 18th B-day, and cheats on me... Yeah, I'd say that hurts...

Don't know about the first cut being the deepest... I'd say they are all on an equal par... never gets any easier

I've only had one love so far, and I can say for sure that it hurts like hell. It's been 3 months and I still hurt.

-

[This message has been edited by Ravendust (edited 05-11-2004).]

DRINK MORE BOOZE!!!!

Booze only provides about an hour of euphoria, before degenerating into a sad, uncontrollably-tired, ugly sort of state. That, and I fucking can't stand hard liquor, ever since that time I got really trashed and sick, and almost puked on poor 47 (my cat)

Suck it up &

quote:Originally posted by Psychotogen:

DRINK MORE BOOZE!!!!

However I recently got “rejected” by a girl I have had a _major_ crush on for fucking ages. God that hurt. What makes it worse is I’m acting like a faggot about it… hell I hardly know her. Fuck I hate acting like a fucking pussy 12 year old girl!! Bah!

quote:Originally posted by decomfuk:

Suck it up &

However I recently got “rejected” by a girl I have had a _major_ crush on for fucking ages. God that hurt. What makes it worse is I’m acting like a faggot about it… hell I hardly know her. Fuck I hate acting like a fucking pussy 12 year old girl!! Bah!



It's okay, honey. We're not here to judge. Just let it all out, sweetheart *pats back*

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Sorry to hear that, Scarlet. I really am. And yes, I DO know how it feels. I've not much of a heart left to break anymore, though, so now things damage the soul instead.

*sigh* heartbreak is so depressing...

thankyou for your sympathy, maby someday we can go rent a movie and be depressed together, heh.

quote:Originaly posted by Infrared:

Booze only provides about an hour of euphoria, before degenerating into a sad, uncontrollably-tired, ugly sort of state. That, and I fucking can't stand hard liquor, ever since that time I got really trashed and sick, and almost puked on poor 47 (my cat)



i reject liquor for those resons (and others), even though i've never really used it much. just the thought of such a fake escape makes me sick. if i really want to get away (which i do) i want my escape to last longer than one night.

'the second only makes you wonder'

god its been 15 years or so and it still cains. she said go and i went.walked down the road to the tube station .that normally was a distance i walked in 5 minutes but on that day you could have timed me on a calendar...kept hoping to hear her voice calling me back.

guess she could'nt take my drinking,drugs,brawling,crime and being a general dickhead.

got home -went up to my room and stayed there for 3 days listening to saaaaaaaaad music.

"food don't taste so good-drink ain't doing what it should".

then my best mate came round and said 'lets get rat arsed and find a public fight'.so we did and i ended up shagging 3 of her best mates (although not all at once!)



still fuckin' hurts ma cheri

hey scoobi if you happen to read this- may the rain fall softly on your face and may the road rise to greet you.