yes, it's probably happened to all of you girls one time or another. you think this guy is perfect and you give your heart to him ... and it turns out he just wants you in bed

yes it makes you feel degraded, used, and sometimes it takes a while to get over it

this happened to me last year and i have to admit i felt pretty stupid... but then it happened again just this year. are some people just vulnerable to it? you want everything to be real, and you hang on to the person just because you wish he was who he just pretended to be. i dont want this to happen again, so what do i do to make myself less vulnerable?

quote:Originally posted by iwannabesuperman:

yes, it's probably happened to all of you girls one time or another.

I think it happens to guys more than girls, but whatever.

quote:Originally posted by iwannabesuperman:

are some people just vulnerable to it?

Yes

quote:Originally posted by iwannabesuperman:

so what do i do to make myself less vulnerable?

Learn the game. It makes it easier to see.

or

Go out with one of those guys who will be nice to you even if a little pathetic. You know, the guys you don’t like like that.

Guys aren't the only manipulative beings on this planet. I think it was chris rock (or maybe some philosopher) that said you never see who a person actually is you see the representation of that person he portrays. It's a society thing, I don't know. Nobody wants their boss to know how they feel about them, a mother doesn't want her child to know she hates the christmas present he got her, and people in relationships don't want eachother to know their personal hang-ups inner-most pyschological damage (and that may include just wanting sex.) I like to think I don't submit to the demands of lies and mask-wearing of soceity, but I'm probably guilty of it. I don't lie to my girlfriend for sex or anything like that, hell we're in a long distance relationship until tuesday *FUCK COLLEGE*. But I have made myself appear more mild because I don't want to hurt her.

It's not just the guys, girls are manipulative to. I have been the victim of cheating and deciet at the hands of cold manipulative women who play loose with the truth. Some people just don't believe love exists, probably a great deal of these people have been used and abused and develop a kill or be killed attitude about love. That makes me sad, how insecure people can get sometimes that love is something to be used to inflict pain on another so that they can feel good.

I personally don't think it's possible to make yourself less vulnerable without becoming heartless and loosing touch with humanity (thereby guaranteeing to live without love instead of the chance that your lover may be a jerk.) I've been trying to find a balance between building a wall between me and people so not to get hurt, and being childishly naive therefore getting used. It's a difficult thing to do.

I've never been "in Love" with a guy, so can't give any advice based on personal "experience".

If you try what EasyGoing recommends, and that doesn't work, maybe the "kill or be killed" method mentioned by ILikeTrafficLights would be best for you.

But for me, just avoiding big "L" Love in my "relationships" keeps it un-messy, un-complicated, and fun, and it satisfies my wants and needs.... works perfect for me! So if all else fails for you, you have the secure thought that maybe that also can be your "safety net"!

Love, Venus.

heres the deal, the guys your dating are phony comformists. Find someone who is not afraid to be different because they will be the most honest and the most understanding of your true self. Also, sex destroys relationships. Maybe it just wasnt the guy? Maybe you guys broke up because after sex the relationship wasnt fun anymore because there was no more tension and pressure about "when are we gonna do it" or whatever.

If you think you're prone to it, stop dressing slutty and try to date someone who is different.

i guess a certain guy will go after me if he thinks he can accomplish something. about the guy i was with a year ago... well he did a lot of manipulating and in the end he got tired of me and went and got head from someone else. and then i moved... but the problem i have now is that i liked this guy who seems like the perfect man and then i figured out he just wants some action. oh, and by the way, the biggest problem i have is that i do have a boyfriend. so yeah, i really fucked up.

please don't hate me

quote:Originally posted by iwannabesuperman:

oh, and by the way, the biggest problem i have is that i do have a boyfriend. so yeah, i really fucked up.

please don't hate me

Wait, what? You were cheating on your boyfriend with a guy who only wanted action? And you're wondering how he got the wrong idea?

Ah, sweet irony...or just poetic justice?

why do you go out with all these hot guys who just end up hurting you? why dont you try goin out with that dork or geek or nerd or what ever? who knows, maybe youll end up happy with him, but you wont because he isnt sexy?

quote:Originally posted by GlitterPunk112358:

Wait, what? You were cheating on your boyfriend with a guy who only wanted action? And you're wondering how he got the wrong idea?

i'm sorry you must have assumed to much from what i wrote... i didn't cheat on my boyfriend, although i did have a thing for a certain guy that is no longer a problem. but i never did anything with him. i guess i dont really need that much advice on how to make it stop from happening... it's common sense right? =/ but anyway... anyone have any stories so i know i'm not the only stupid little girl out here?

"i'm sick of sleeping with these incipid manhattan debutantes. nothing shocks them anymore"

quote:Originally posted by iwannabesuperman:

"i'm sick of sleeping with these incipid manhattan debutantes. nothing shocks them anymore"



Sebastian, "Cruel Intentions"

I LOVE that movie! Great quote!