When I'm with a girl, I have plenty of sex, and can go for a year without jerking (and have). When I don't, I smack the bishop quite often.

I was especially horny tonight, going through all the nude shots my ex made for me awhile back; some of them softcore, and some XXX. I think I jerked off about 4 times.

Jerking off to her pictures is great, because I know exactly how everything I'm seeing in them feels/tastes etc, because I've been with her before, but there is a certain frustrated element to it, because I can no longer have it, and others have gotten it since.

But her naked body still makes me rock-solid. I gotta make sure and point it away from my face when I cum.

Post your pathetic jack/jill-off stories here.

-Infrared

GOD I AM SO FUCKING HORNY TONIGHT

Remembering how goooooood sex feels; the slickness, tightness, moisture, the moans, the movements; the feeling of my thighs touching the backs of hers when we fucked doggy, the images of that time she wanted to watch us in a mirror, so I put one in front of the bed, let her sit with her back to me on my lap, facing the mirror, and slid in..oooh my fucking god, the memories.

Oh, my beautiful li-ar,

oh, my precious whore.

My disease, my in-fect-ion,

I am so im-pure...

I really am a horny fucking pervert. Excuse me, I need to go be with myself for a moment...again.

-Infrared

u even fucked?

U suk my dik?

........

no....

It would appear I just fucked with you.

Post the pics and all will be revealed to you.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

It would appear I just fucked with you.



DAMN YOU INFRARED! I WILL GET YOU NEXT TIME!!!

(as his escape pod rockets off into space)

4 times? my records 7 in one day and i can tell you im never gonna try to beat it, excuse the pun. after 4 or 5 it stopped being good and just started to fucking hurt. by the end of the day i swear i was cumming water. i honestly had to hold my nads under a cold tap to stop the burning.

someone i know claims to have managed 13 in one day and i think hes full of shit, theres no way thats even possible. anyone whos beaten 7 has my respect.

7 isn't shit. I have jacked off a total of at least 15 times in a 12 hour period.

My dick doesn't get sore because of the way I do it.

Oh yeah, you should post some of those pics Infared.

omg im beating off to u guys just talking about it!!

Former chronic masturbator right here. I swear to god, regularly, 6-20 times a day. Down to once every few days.

Well, I've always heard that a Real Man can handle hisself.

Could you, would you? Just once jam your huge

tool up CarbonB's butt? I know I'd surely appreciate that fucker getting totally reamed

out.

Bend over CarbonB, here it comes!

i do it once a day, maybe twice, and sometiems hardly never though i dont a day

...which reminds me......

quote:omg im beating off to u guys just talking about it!!

Time to take your umm 'vitamin' pills again I guess?

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

Former chronic masturbator right here. I swear to god, regularly, 6-20 times a day. Down to once every few days.

How'd THAT happen... Uhhh, for the other chronic masturbators, not me.

Ohh, a bunch of orgasm addicts.

quote:Originally posted by JesusTookMyBike123:

Ohh, a bunch of orgasm addicts.

mommy im not additced to drugs, im addicted to orgasms!!

quote:Originally posted by JesusTookMyBike123:

Ohh, a bunch of orgasm addicts.

Hush now, going for a hat trick.

God I need to get laid... 3 months is a long time to go without any sexual contact!

5 in an hour.

The pain is GOOD!!

I started smacking off at about 12:15AM, Mountain time (two hours behind East Coast, one hour ahead of West, one hour behind Central, for all you rebels). I only just now finished.

It's 5:20AM.

as a girl too much sex in one day is sooooooo painful (if HIS PENIS is large...phew!).

You need a man who can switch hit...tongue, cock, hands...and different places as well.

quote:Originally posted by someone_somewhere639:

as a girl too much sex in one day is sooooooo painful (if HIS PENIS is large...phew!).

I warned you. My nickname isn't Solid Snake for nothing.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

I warned you. My nickname isn't Solid Snake for nothing.

Thanks you for making me choke with laughter at work. I don't think anyone noticed... <looks around nervously>

Well, better he chokes you with laughter, rather than with........his...choker. Only a

100% real Italian girl can handle a thing like that.

Don't we all?

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

Only a

100% real Italian girl can handle a thing like that.

Ah, Moonie. You hardly ever fail to make me smile.

And I certainly don't fill the bill. I'm half English, one quarter German, and one quarter Irish. Which is a pretty goddamn grim mix, when you think about it...

***edited for proper use of fractions

[This message has been edited by Schraff (edited 05-08-2004).]

Ahhh, sweet Schraffy, it's too bad we're on opposite sides of the continent. Otherwise we

could wrap each other in saranwrap & strap each other on again & again. Till we were both insane(r).

*I'm here to please, I'm even on my knees

Makin' luv to whoever I please*

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

Well, better he chokes you with laughter, rather than with........his...choker. Only a

100% real Italian girl can handle a thing like that.

I heard it takes three

quote:Originally posted by Schraff:

Thanks you for making me choke with laughter at work. I don't think anyone noticed... <looks around nervously>

haha...u r very funny...that looks around nervously comment...genious...u c people it is small, subtle peices of pure comedy like that, that makes me laugh!!!

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

Ahhh, sweet Schraffy, it's too bad we're on opposite sides of the continent.

I shoulda guessed you'd be a Californian. The West Coast vibe is palpable.

quote: Otherwise we

could wrap each other in saranwrap & strap each other on again & again.

That is shockingly close to a piece of performance art that Coil did the soundtrack to. Only with less strapons and more suspended coccooning. There was nudity, though.

"She spreads herself wide open to let the insects in.

She leaves a trail of honey to show me where she's been."

I made love twice today. *Is a happy man*