1: Women who get too fucking vocal during sex. When I'm hosing you down like a fucking fireman, last thing I want to hear is about your day, or about how I feel different this time as compared to last time, etc.

2: Women who get fickle. When I'm shoving my giant kielbasa into your sweet snizzpod and about to fire off my wad, the worst thing you can do is suddenly change rhythm or position and ruin the building volcanic eruption.

3: Asking me to jerk off while you watch. Why the fuck would I do that? That's why YOU'RE here: so I don't have to. Want to masturbate me? Fine. Want to slip your fingers into your sweet mound and masturbate with me? Fine. Just do something; don't just stand there staring while I slide my hand up and down and flog the bishop. It's akward.

4: Quit being such a pussy about your pussy. It smells, looks, and tastes fine; I hate when you fuck up the mood when I'm kissing lower and lower down your body, on my way to your rosebud by grabbing my head and telling me that you don't want oral, because you "don't feel fresh", or some shit. I don't care if you're sweaty or maybe even a little pissy; so long as you don't reek like an unwashed hog, chances are that your scent will turn me into a wild fucking animal, not turn me away. So spread your thighs and let me kiss that vertical smile; it's one of my favorite things to do, anyway, so it's pleasure for me, not just you. Bitch.

5: Swallow my cum. It's just rude, and makes me feel a little embarassed when you hock it out like some big, disgusting, lifegiving loogie. It ain't THAT bad. Sure, it's slimy, but I'm always either flavorless, or sweet, if I happen to be on meth (in which case you'd be lucky; the stuff makes me wild in bed). Just swallow it. You don't see me spitting out your sweet honey oil, so don't go spitting my aqua vitae.

6: Don't be so prudish about kissing me after I've been down on you, or sucking my dick or fingers after they've been in you. It's YOUR own cum, afterall, so what are you afraid of? I let you kiss me after my dick's just been in your mouth, so return the fucking favor. It turns me on anyway.

About all for now. More if I feel like it.

Post your own.

-Infrared

(I really do love to eat pussy)

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 05-04-2004).]

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Let the fucking answering machine do it's job if someone is dumb enough to call while we're doing it.

Show some aggression once in a while. Drilling a passive little love-slave is fun, but it gets old. A guy needs to be ravaged in return, so he knows how much she wants it.

If I'm looking at porn and you don't like it, try fucking me more often. Chances are I won't look at much porn if I'm getting laid at least once a day.

when you wake up in the middle of doing my business and kick me in the croch to get me off, or when you walk in when i'm banging your sister, i hate that

infrared.... you have a special place in my blackened heart...

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:



4: Quit being such a pussy about your pussy. It smells, looks, and tastes fine; I hate when you fuck up the mood when I'm kissing lower and lower down your body, on my way to your rosebud by grabbing my head and telling me that you don't want oral, because you "don't feel fresh", or some shit. I don't care if you're sweaty or maybe even a little pissy; so long as you don't reek like an unwashed hog, chances are that your scent will turn me into a wild fucking animal, not turn me away. So spread your thighs and let me kiss that vertical smile; it's one of my favorite things to do, anyway, so it's pleasure for me, not just you. Bitch.



Guilty

I wasn't so bad before I got preggers, but now I'm horribly self conscious about every little thing, I don't even like walking around nekid like I used to.

^^Wow. Non-related, but uhh.. Hi Sarc. Haven't seen you in a while.

Anyways back to you infrared. Once again you put my posts to shame I swear you pre-meditate these. They're so perfectly orchistrated. Hahaha keep up the good work.

(and no I don't have anything to add. Infrared stole all mine )

Sarc: For what it's worth, I'm sure that your pussy is all lovely like.

ATS: /Infra gets on one knee and serenades her with Spanish muzak

Yeah, overly self-conscious girls make everything a lot harder. A little humility is nice, but it comes to a point where I would just give up were it not for my raging hormones.

Another thing: girls (and people on general) that are completely disturbed by the thought of anything but vanilla sex. Open your minds! I don't approve of some sexual practices, but I understand how and why people are into them.

Also: the absence of head. If I am giving, I want getting.

I love submissive girls but shyness is extremely irritating.

Nice list.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

shoving my giant kielbasa into your sweet snizzpod

lol

[This message has been edited by mirrage_02 (edited 05-05-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Ghast:

I love submissive girls but shyness is extremely irritating.

Nice list.

AMEN!

~~<Jay>~~

[This message has been edited by Toke420 (edited 05-05-2004).]

Sometimes submission is great..other times I want to physically fight her for it. I'm serious: The Italian and I would sometimes roleplay rape, I guess you could say; I'd "ambush" her when she came out of the shower or something, with a mask on so she wouldn't even know it was me, and I'd overpower her into submission, though she REALLY fought it hard (I'm a 6'2" 198-lb man and she was a 5'1" 135-lb female), which did nothing but turn me on and drive me wilder. When I finally had her down, I'd take the mask off, though she usually managed to figure out it was me somewhere along the line.

Some of the best sex we'd had.

I still miss her.

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 05-05-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

[B]

4: Quit being such a pussy about your pussy. It smells, looks, and tastes fine; I hate when you fuck up the mood when I'm kissing lower and lower down your body, on my way to your rosebud by grabbing my head and telling me that you don't want oral, because you "don't feel fresh", or some shit. I don't care if you're sweaty or maybe even a little pissy; so long as you don't reek like an unwashed hog, chances are that your scent will turn me into a wild fucking animal, not turn me away. So spread your thighs and let me kiss that vertical smile; it's one of my favorite things to do, anyway, so it's pleasure for me, not just you. Bitch.

[B]

maybe, after fellatio, some women don't want your stinky pussy mouth trying to kiss their face. the same holds true for your stinky pussy breath trying to whisper pretentious, over-bearing vows to their already distraught senses. way to inadvertently turn pleasure into stinky displeasure! you stinky bastard.

^^ you mean fellatio or cunnilingus??

think you mean the latter as fellatio doesn't result in pussy breath, but rather cum breath which actually from my experience doesn't have any flavoring at all ... to each their own.

bodily juices are bodily juices, the person going down is putting it in their mouth and tasting it so you shouldn't have a problem with it as it actually is yours.

The Quin's pet peeve is

People who think people give a shit ...

quote:Originally posted by devilsAngel:

^^ you mean fellatio or cunnilingus??

think you mean the latter as fellatio doesn't result in pussy breath, but rather cum breath which actually from my experience doesn't have any flavoring at all ... to each their own.

bodily juices are bodily juices, the person going down is putting it in their mouth and tasting it so you shouldn't have a problem with it as it actually is yours.

yeah, thanks for catching that--my mistake. it's a highly stinky assignment with overtones of extreme personal danger.

quote:Originally posted by thequin88:

The Quin's pet peeve is

People who think people give a shit ...

Fuck off asshole, this isn't a forum for 7th graders.

My biggest issue is the way so many people seem to care more about telling people about the sex they're getting than the actual sex or the girl. They care too damn much about trying to make themselves look good to others by talking about getting laid a bunch of times. It's kind of pathetic really.

Oh, and Cindy, would you please check your e-mail or get on AIM more often?

infared your the best man

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

1: Women who get too fucking vocal during sex. When I'm hosing you down like a fucking fireman, last thing I want to hear is about your day, or about how I feel different this time as compared to last time, etc.

2: Women who get fickle. When I'm shoving my giant kielbasa into your sweet snizzpod and about to fire off my wad, the worst thing you can do is suddenly change rhythm or position and ruin the building volcanic eruption.

3: Asking me to jerk off while you watch. Why the fuck would I do that? That's why YOU'RE here: so I don't have to. Want to masturbate me? Fine. Want to slip your fingers into your sweet mound and masturbate with me? Fine. Just do something; don't just stand there staring while I slide my hand up and down and flog the bishop. It's akward.

4: Quit being such a pussy about your pussy. It smells, looks, and tastes fine; I hate when you fuck up the mood when I'm kissing lower and lower down your body, on my way to your rosebud by grabbing my head and telling me that you don't want oral, because you "don't feel fresh", or some shit. I don't care if you're sweaty or maybe even a little pissy; so long as you don't reek like an unwashed hog, chances are that your scent will turn me into a wild fucking animal, not turn me away. So spread your thighs and let me kiss that vertical smile; it's one of my favorite things to do, anyway, so it's pleasure for me, not just you. Bitch.

5: Swallow my cum. It's just rude, and makes me feel a little embarassed when you hock it out like some big, disgusting, lifegiving loogie. It ain't THAT bad. Sure, it's slimy, but I'm always either flavorless, or sweet, if I happen to be on meth (in which case you'd be lucky; the stuff makes me wild in bed). Just swallow it. You don't see me spitting out your sweet honey oil, so don't go spitting my aqua vitae.

6: Don't be so prudish about kissing me after I've been down on you, or sucking my dick or fingers after they've been in you. It's YOUR own cum, afterall, so what are you afraid of? I let you kiss me after my dick's just been in your mouth, so return the fucking favor. It turns me on anyway.

About all for now. More if I feel like it.

Post your own.

-Infrared

(I really do love to eat pussy)

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 05-04-2004).]

LOL that caused me to laugh, can't be more true.

Dont be afraid of anal...just relax, I know what I'm doing...

quote:Originally posted by devilsAngel:

yours.[/i]

omg thats gross,do u eat ur own poo too just because its urs :O

quote:Originally posted by MrVitrol:

omg thats gross,do u eat ur own poo too just because its urs :O



wtf? since when did i talk about shit? i don't know what kind of shit you have if you confused it with the term juices. grow up please.

i was just saying that if someone is nice enough to go down on you and put their mouth there, you shouldn't be disgusted because it's not some foreign substance, this stuff came from you, you share spit when you make out with someone, you're mixing sexual fluids when you have sex (without a condom that is).

to me it should be equal sharing, like little pea said, if i am giving i want getting, and you know, after someone goes down on you and they pop a mint, it doesn't change the fact that their mouth was there, it's rude to expect someone to be ok with your own smell/sex juices but not be ok with it yourself.

all in all, to each their own, just don't be too harsh on passing judgement of something as bad just because of one experience or no experience. should be more open to experimenting if you want to keep your sex life interesting.

quote:Originally posted by MrVitrol:

omg thats gross,do u eat ur own poo too just because its urs :O



Nobody asked you to over analyze whats being said here. Nor do we want you to. The term used was "bodily juices" so unless you shit water, or something close to it, then shit doesn't count. And so what? It's a lubricant created by your own body. Boo hoo. if you can't stand your own excrements in one way or another, then don't get into a situation that might involve such a thing. That or feed yourself into a wood chipper.

/throws a rose to serenading Infrared

I love to roleplay, even have some nice leather 'equipment'.... i think that the reason so many people are bored with their sex lives is because they are afraid to experiment, and act on some of the fantasies they have.

sometimes i love to be the sub and be all tied up and helpless, other times I am your mistress, and you will do what i want NOW

so spice it up a bit people! Its ment to be fun