Need people's opinions on the subject of friendship because my situation has made me quite confused.

Is friendship something to cherish? What if it has lasted ten years and then faded away right before your eyes? What would you do to try to get it back?

I have/used to have a friend (I am not quite sure) that has been my friend for 10 years. Since we were 4 years old we used to hang out almost everyday after school since we were next door neighbors. I still have the memories, still crystal clear as can be. I remember his older brother (friends with him too) stopped talking to me for about 2 years from 8th grade to 10th. He just started talking to me again. During those two years, alot changed and happened. They moved away closer to town and we kinda stopped talking. His older brother talks to me all the time, but my friendship with my friend has faded since he moved, and we don't hang out with the same people as much as we used to. The occasional "Hi" and stuff, but not like we used to. We were really close. Said if we didn't have dates to the prom that we would go together, said that we would always be together and friends.

Is he going through the same weird stage his brother went through with not talking to me? Will he come back and talk to me our junior year?

Please help me. I want to fix this so bad because for the longest time I have had an empty spot and I couldn't figure out what needed to fill it until now. And yes, thats how much I missed the old days... I wish I could just rewind time sometimes.

quote:Originally posted by InimitableBallerina:

I wish I could just rewind time sometimes.

Don't we all...

Also, those memories turn up in my dreams. I will get flashbacks of us skateboarding, playing legos together when we were 6, telling ghost stories in the dark, sitting and talking (the conversations I remember talking about too... they are like the exact conversations) in the tree we always used to climb and sit and talk in. and I wake up freaked out, panicking and crying. It is really bad.

Go talk to him, it should help. That can be all it takes to jump start a fallen friendship. It's worked for me.

i am the older brother.

i had a weird phase and just faded out, but then last year i rekindled the friendship. i think that's probably what he is in right now, and will be her friend again after the hormones calm down and stuff.. because it's a weird time.

I've tried talking to my brother about why he isn't talking to InimitableBallerina anymore and stuff, but he pretty much refuses to talk about it. I tried getting InimitableBallerina to confront him at school but she was too nervous, and so we just had a chat on aim between the 3 of us and i tried to find out why they are allowing themselves to fade apart but couldn't get anything from it.

i would ask my brother why they are fading and he would say "it's not good"

and i would ask him why he doesn't do something about it, and he was say "i don't know"

and then that's all he would say. and he just doesn't care anymore. but i think he will come out of it and be real.

You should talk to him, make the first move towards recreating your friendship. What if you two were meant to be soulmates? What if you were meant to go to prom together? You really need to fix this before you lose totally contact and its not fixable anymore.

she has tried talking to him.. it doesn't work

Come on people please. The least you can do is reply and give me help. I am asking you... I seriously need advice.

maybe he wants to be more then just friends but he thinks that wont work maybe

shit happends maybe you should just let it go

quote:Originally posted by deathwhenboot:

maybe he wants to be more then just friends but he thinks that wont work maybe

shit happends maybe you should just let it go

he definitely doesn't want to be more then just friends but think it won't work.

i agree, just let it go InimitableBallerina,and mabey it will pass.

just think about the song "only time" by enya for inspiration.

Who can say where the road goes,

Where the day flows?

Only time...

And who can say if your love grows,

As your heart chose?

Only time...

(interlude)

Who can say why your heart sighs,

As your love flies?

Only time...

And who can say why your heart cries,

When your love lies?

Only time...

(interlude)

Who can say when the roads meet,

That love might be,

In your heart.

And who can say when the day sleeps,

If the night keeps all your heart?

Night keeps all your heart...

(interlude)

Who can say if your love grows,

As your heart chose?

Only time...

And who can say where the road goes,

Where the day flows?

Only time...

Who knows?

Only time...

Who knows?

Only time...

quote:Originally posted by InimitableBallerina:

Come on people please. The least you can do is reply and give me help. I am asking you... I seriously need advice.

quote:Originally posted by SARDONICPILLOW:

i had a weird phase and just faded out, but then last year i rekindled the friendship. i think that's probably what he is in right now, and will be her friend again after the hormones calm down and stuff.. because it's a weird time.

There's the answer. It may not be the answer you want, but that's it. Don't feel you're the only person who has ever "lost" a friend this way. This sort of thing is quite typical, and happens during the many transition periods in a person's younger years. Few friendships survive moves, few friendships survive the segue from high school to college, fewer still survive from college to "adult life".

But women always want closure, always want an answer, always want to restore what they had. That's all normal. Just don't see it as a "failure" when you find you can't go back in time.