I've been in a steady relationship for a year and a half now. We are both teenagers, but we are looking on spending our futures together.

The question is: I am really jealous, althogh I most times don't let it out; I only do so when I am really reaching my limits. I know he is completely faithful to me, and I tottaly trust him; I don't trust them. He has his girlfriends, I never tried to scew up his frienship with them, as he has also respected my friendship with guys.

I once told him that it annoyed me that he would meet a girlfriend or girlfriends alone. He never forbid me of doing so, but when I had those invitations, I'd refuse them, because I am not the type: "You can't do, but I can".

I met some of his girlfriends and they seemed nice, I had nothing against them. One of them,"W", who barely knew me, even invited me for her birthday. He knew her on IRC and their friendship is based on the net, once they don't see eachother very often, despite living in the same city. I went to her birthday party and I thought she was really sweet. However, by my boyfriend's birthday, 2 weeks after hers, it all changed.

She showed up at the restaurant door and hugged him really tight. My friends were shocked, but I thought it was normal, it was a greeting hug and a birthday hug as well. She sat in front of him during the dinner, and, from time to time, she'd squeeze his cheeks, tried to hug him... She knew I was his girlfriend and I was sitting next to him! I wasn't feeling comfortable at all. When we kissed, she'd go like "stop that, behave!". She said it like she was just kidding, but I also say things kidding when I know it's bad to say them seriously.

We got out of the restaurant and I was with my 2 best friends and the boyfriend of one of them. My boyfriend was talking with his friends, talking to all the groups... when I hear my friend's boyfriend say "impose yourself, keine_Engel". I wasn't facing the group where he was looking to, so I asked what was wrong. I look at my friend's faces, they were stunned and just said "you wouldn't want to know", when I began hearing "W" calling me. I slowly turned around, pretending I was just having a general view, and I see her hanging on my boyfriend's neck, and he wasn't holding or hugging her. Then I heard her say "keine_Engel! He won't let me go!!" (and he wasn't grabbing her!! his arms were hanging next to his body!). She had been grabbing him for over 2 minutes.

Then, the whole gang went to a bar and on the way I told my boyfriend that she was pushing it. He said he was sorry, I told him he didn't need to say anything, it wasn't his fault, but hers. My boyfriend and I came to my house, to put down the gifts, while everyone else went to the bar. "W"'s boyfriend showed up and, surprise, surprise, she didn't touch my boyfriend anymore!

After this, I wouldn't stand her. My boyfriend knew about it, but he never stopped talking to her. And I didn't want him to do so, all I wanted was for him not to give her the intimacy for her to do those things... specially in front of me, I saw it as a lack of respect!

Thursday, my boyfriend told me he had seen her at lunchtime and that she had invited him to lunch in her house. That's all he said, because I asked somthing meanwhile. Today, at lunch, he tells me "WOW! "W"'s house is amazing!!". I felt a knot on my throat, I couldn't believe he had gone to her house! Obviously, I sulked. When we were having a walk, he'd want to hug me, I'd say no. I wasn't exactely silent, but I didn't talk much either; however, I wasn't agressive or harsh on my answers.

He eventually asked me why I was pissed off, I told him to think and he goes "because I had lunch over at "W"'s". I just told him: "I asked you not to be alone with girls, and you didn't do so. And had to chose her...".

Another thing that pissed me off, but I didn't tell him because I didn't want to mess anymore, was that when I sometimes suggest having lunch at my house, he refuses, saying he doesn't want to bother my mother. WTF?! He knows my mom for 18 months now, she likes him, he likes here too... he knows my mother for much more time and much better than "W"'s mother!

First, it was her hugging, like she wanted something out of him (actually, everytime my boyfriend, she, I and her boyfriend were together, she never touched my boyfriend...maybe she's aware that what she does is wrong and doesn't want to do it in front of her boyfriend....). Now, it's him meeting her at her highly probable empty house, after telling me he wouldn't be alone with girls... ARGH!!

I know I must be exaggerating and I'm gonna be flamed, but I needed to let this out! This is killing me... if he goes on with this, I will do exactely the same thing... maybe he won't mind, maybe he will...I hope he does, that way, he won't do it again... specially with that... BITCH!!

ps -- sorry for the huge post =(

Cool, a stalker.

your BF is an idiot. tell him to read this so he knows, and then to not let some bitch disrespect you like that. she could not do it if he did not allow it.

Jesus Christ, let up on the poor guy! Us guys can have friends that are girls, that we aren't attracted to. And some girls just have different attitudes about touching. If you and your boyfriend are planning to live the rest of your lives together, maybe a little trust between you would help?

It sounds like you are just being too restricitve; of course he's going to have friends that aren't boys. You need to ease up.

Ask him if he'd like to try a 3-some with you and W. If he agrees, dump him. Simple, eh?

Gillibiabtiag is lying. If a girl is at all attractive, the only thing we think about is having sex with her. It's programmed into our genes.

folow him some time to "W"'s house and if he's eating her out lol beat the ever living shit outta both of em

You seem to be handling this much better than you give yourself credit for. Quit blaming yourself for "exaggerating". You seem to have a mature attitude, so trust your feelings.

It might be time for a discussion where you and your bf define acceptable and unacceptable behaviors again. You've been together a year and a half; life happens, things happen, people/"friends" come and go, so the "rules" need to evolve along with you. It seems to me (and you) that "W" has breached some boundaries here, and your bf seems either oblivious or clueless as to how to handle it. He might be abiding by the mutual "rules" you two have already set, but these "rules" might be insufficient when dealing with people like "W", who clearly is disrespectful and has issues of her own.

Whatever you do, try your best not to let "W" get you worked up. That's her game, and that would make her quite happy if she got to you. Know that your bf has chosen to be with you for this long and more, and do your best to regard "W" as a temporary annoyance.

quote:Originally posted by Gillibiabtiag:

[B]...maybe a little trust between you would help?...[B]

How about a little respect for her?

Although I do think that you are being a little athoritarian by telling him that he can't hang around other girls alone. Giving him restrictions like that will only push him away.

This W girl is being a big bitch, and is probably "getting" to your boyfriend. Although realistically I think that you and your boyfriend have reached your shelf life. A year and a half is a long time for some teenagers and you just may be ready to move on. I dunno. I don't know what is going on in your relationship; but that is just my experience.

quote:Originally posted by Gillibiabtiag:

[...] And some girls just have different attitudes about touching.[...] maybe a little trust between you would help? [...]

I know some people feel different about touching... I know that, for her, it may mean nothing. But I think that she should also think that I may feel defferentely and that I may not like what she does... If I must understand her hugging, she must understand that I may not like it.

Regarding the trust, as I said, I trust him, I just don't trust her. And what is annoying me is that he keeps giving her the intimacy that makes me be suspicious of her... even though he knows I don't feel comfortable about it.

quote:Originally posted by dude4ever:

folow him some time to "W"'s house and if he's eating her out lol beat the ever living shit outta both of em

I wouldn't feel good about doing that, because I have no reasons not to trust him. If I would and found them kissing or anthing... I'd feel like killing her, but instead, I'd be a cold bitch and tell her boyfriend she was cheating on him, but I wouldn't tell him with who... I wouldn't want my bf to be harmed...(after that, I'd spread throughout the city what she had done lol) I'd be hurt with his attittude, but I think I'd forgive him. I love him far too much to loose him.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

[...] Whatever you do, try your best not to let "W" get you worked up. [...]

I have never shown her that it bugged me, I showed my friends and bf. If I see her down the street, I say hello and treat her just like the same. I don't know if my bf told her how I felt about all of that, but, even if he did, I doubt he told her that I hate her. He knew I didn't like her attittude, but he only knew I don't like her recentely.

quote:Originally posted by little pea:

[...] Although realistically I think that you and your boyfriend have reached your shelf life. [...]

As you said, I didn't tell anything else about the relationship, which made you think that. Fortunately, it's very hard for us to get mad at eachother, we've never had many argues, only one was serious. We get along perfectely, it's just this that gets to my nerves. And I feel a bit bad about it, because he isn't jealous... although, when I go to nighclubs with friends, he asks me to be careful, not that he doesn't trust me, but he doesn't trust guys, he's afraid they may harm me or force me to do anything... but I'm not sure if that's jealousy or what lol. I honestely think that there are no reasons for us to break up or "pause" our relationship. I don't know what tomorrow may bring, but I hope we'll be together for much more time.