Have..no..soul..must..find..someone..to..share..li fe with,..need..COMPLETION!

Fuck living for myself or anything else; what "self"? I fucking hate myself. I'm a fucking drug addict who's touchy, depressive and probably very unlikeable. God, sometimes I wish that Xanax and booze thing was the end of me.

But if I die, I'll never marry, propagate, be happy.

Laugh all you want, but this fucking brings me to tears sometimes.

I wish I could see the future. Believe me, if there was to be no true love in my life, I'd go get that AK and ventilate myself.

Mind, I never said I didn't value the love that's in close friendship, and a true friend is probably more value to me than true love, but..goddamnit.

Oh fuck me, enough of this. Maybe this should be in B&M. Sorry, Cindy.

-Infrared

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 04-29-2004).]

I'd gladly love you Infrared!

Though, I don't know how partial you are to the man wuvvin.

Think of it though, we could get high on a myrid of drugs, then make butt love till morning breaks, and shoot more drugs when we come down, only to get back up!

So how bout it cutie?



Btw, majorly fucking kidding.

You'll find someone buddy.

It'd be hard for a girl to love you when you don't love yourself. Start doing that and before long you'll find a girl that loves you unconditionally.

Or just pretend to love youself in front of her!

^ Hahaha, fake it till you make it.

I'm feelin that infrared, I've been hookin up with a few girls lately but none of its love and thats what I'm after.

Ah well, back to the weed and drunken sex.

what do you guys expect out of love?

stfu you copy of Nihil, you don´t know shit, you won´t be like him.

you ignorant cocksucker, i dont think anyone has the copyright on Nihilism.

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

you ignorant cocksucker, i dont think anyone has the copyright on Nihilism.

gotcha. Now you´re unleashed as a stupid non-educated posing wannabe ...

yea, you sure got me.

quote:Originally posted by Nihilism:

yea, you sure got me.



so what else is there to come? Now we know you´re just a boring wanker with no life trying to increase his self-esteem by copying the style of a great mind. Having two aliases to boost your "knowledge" and "credibility". Pshaw, why do you come here? Or how many names do you have or are you going to use? Get out of here, your posts are meaningless and even useless ...

hey,sometimes I feel the same.. but I got "uplifted" yesterday, when this RRRRRRRRRREAAALY hot chick comes to me and talk,, just gotta try to speak with again..

For one I doubt you could even reproduce with all the meth you say you smoke, or would I advise you to have kids.

For one your a drug addicts, major downer only person your going to find that would even want to be around you would be another drug addict. So you either need to get off the drug addict or go hit on all the heroine addicts and meth addicts you see in crack houses.

Anyways I suggest you start realizing that drugs are bad and are probably causing you to go deeper into a depression when you think they bring you out of it.

Get off the drugs. Cut your hair becuase long hair is ugly on a guy. Workout try and get in better shape so you can boost your self esteem. Go to a dentist whiten your teeth.

All these suddle things can make you feel a lot better about yourself and maybe get you a girl.

and you're ugly

You sound like a goddamn teenager Infra. You are an adult, so take control of your life, although that would mean taking control away from the drugoz.

Sorry, InfraRed: Seems like the same primitives are here. I hope you got some help and encouragement before they hijacked your thread!! Love, Venus.

Ya, sorry Infra, i know watcha meen though, i wish i had love too...and im sorry bout these lil wankers taking over your thread..but what they say may be true, drugs aren't helping much...

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Have..no..soul..must..find..someone..to..share..li fe with,..need..COMPLETION!

Fuck living for myself or anything else; what "self"? I fucking hate myself. I'm a fucking drug addict who's touchy, depressive and probably very unlikeable. God, sometimes I wish that Xanax and booze thing was the end of me.

But if I die, I'll never marry, propagate, be happy.

Laugh all you want, but this fucking brings me to tears sometimes.

I wish I could see the future. Believe me, if there was to be no true love in my life, I'd go get that AK and ventilate myself.

Mind, I never said I didn't value the love that's in close friendship, and a true friend is probably more value to me than true love, but..goddamnit.

Oh fuck me, enough of this. Maybe this should be in B&M. Sorry, Cindy.

-Infrared

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 04-29-2004).]

FUCK each and every last one of you downing the guy. Yea, hes addicted to drugs, so what? Does this make him any less deserving of love or affection? You heard him, its an ADDICTION, addictions are kinda hard to just drop on a whim, try to be understanding.

Infra, don't ever EVER hate yourself. If you don't love you, who will? You have to give love to get it my friend, and how can you love someone else if you don't even love yourself? If your comfortable doing drugs, then keep at it, but remember to moderate yourself. If you want to quit drugs entirely, start slowly, and work your way from there.

You WILL find someone man, it may take weeks, months, or YEARS. I was in a relationship for 8 years before I found who I was suppose to be with. And even after I found her, things haven't exactly gone easy from there.

viperbloodstone@yahoo.com <~~ Write me if you need to talk.

I'm here for you Thomas, as you were there for me..

I think the point is that the drugs are causin him more hurt than they are helping him. If he wants to be able to take care of someone else, he should be capable to take care of himself first.

Infrared, I wish you the best of luck, but you should realize you have your own problems right now, and its either them first or nothing.

Love...

I graduated from highschool when I was 15 years old, I was going to graduate from college at 19... I was smart, tallented, vibrant.

7 years later, I still have 2 years to finish a degree, and have no viable way of returning to university. I'm knocked up and single, I have nothing to my name save for a few personal belongings. My ex has started fooling around with girls even though I'm stuck living in the same house with him because if I move out I jeapordize my residency application which would mean I would have to return to the states where I have even less...

And the decisions that lead me to this point were all based on love. Sometimes.... I really wonder if love is worth it?

Is it?

How the fuck is it worth it?

Yeah it's great while it lasts... but when it goes it destroys everything in its path... how can that be worth it?

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

Love...

I graduated from highschool when I was 15 years old, I was going to graduate from college at 19... I was smart, tallented, vibrant.

7 years later, I still have 2 years to finish a degree, and have no viable way of returning to university. I'm knocked up and single, I have nothing to my name save for a few personal belongings. My ex has started fooling around with girls even though I'm stuck living in the same house with him because if I move out I jeapordize my residency application which would mean I would have to return to the states where I have even less...

And the decisions that lead me to this point were all based on love. Sometimes.... I really wonder if love is worth it?

Is it?

How the fuck is it worth it?

Yeah it's great while it lasts... but when it goes it destroys everything in its path... how can that be worth it?

so this is one of the "smart" girls that guys are too dumb to fuck right? right...

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

Love...

I graduated from highschool when I was 15 years old, I was going to graduate from college at 19... I was smart, tallented, vibrant.

7 years later, I still have 2 years to finish a degree, and have no viable way of returning to university. I'm knocked up and single, I have nothing to my name save for a few personal belongings. My ex has started fooling around with girls even though I'm stuck living in the same house with him because if I move out I jeapordize my residency application which would mean I would have to return to the states where I have even less...

And the decisions that lead me to this point were all based on love. Sometimes.... I really wonder if love is worth it?

Is it?

How the fuck is it worth it?

Yeah it's great while it lasts... but when it goes it destroys everything in its path... how can that be worth it?

awww, im sorry sarc.

/me hugs sarc

Ehhh... you'll find someone to fall in love with Infra. But you've really got to get past the heavy drug usage. Don't get me wrong, I'm against ANY laws on consensual crimes, which would include any pertaining to the use and/or abuse of any drugs. Still, they really lead nowhere when it's all said and done. Once you've been on enough good acid trips, THC and the like, you've hit the pinnacle of enlightenment and as far as the speed, gotta love it, but it'll ruin you.

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

Love...

I graduated from highschool when I was 15 years old, I was going to graduate from college at 19... I was smart, tallented, vibrant.



Fuck bitches.

quote:Originally posted by Player1:

Fuck bitches.



I don't think anyone in this thread wants to fuck a female dog besides you, so how about you go and cry about it?

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

Yeah it's great while it lasts... but when it goes it destroys everything in its path... how can that be worth it?

Edit: When it goes bad. It doesn't always work that way.

You and countless others have known what love can be like, only to crash and burn hard when the bottom falls out. But it doesn't have to be like that. Don't give up on the idea; just remember what can happen and protect yourself. Keep a little bit of yourself in reserve until you're certain you're with someone who won't flake out on you, who you think is worth whatever minimal risk there might be. It sounds entirely unromantic, and it is, but can it be any worse than what you're going through?

I'm replying to Sarc's post, but I'm speaking to everyone. It's a catch-22; you have to let yourself go completely to fully feel the wonder of being in love, but here I am saying it's often wise to be highly cautious before doing so. Unfortunately, if you don't want to deal with (another) devastating heartbreak), you almost have to do it. I don't expect that anyone who's never experienced it before would, nor would I suggest trying. If you remember this and years from now suffer through a rough breakup with your first love, it'll make a lot more sense than if you simply close yourself off in part or in full because myself or someone else says it's a good idea.

As for you specifically, Sarc, I hope you're just having a bad day. I'd hate to think the dozens upon dozens of supportive messages, along with offers from several people to give you a hand if you wind up back in the States, add up to less than an ex-fiance who's utterly uninterested in his kid and bagging other chicks while you still live with him.

You put your neck out and it didn't work. It happens. Your life is not over. You know this. I'll let everyone else do the touchy-feely we're-here-for-you crap now, because it doesn't seem to be making a dent. Of course, nothing probably will until you're ready to let it, but what can I say.. I'm not going to sit here and read all this mopey bullshit from someone smart and respectable without comment.

quote:Originally posted by Gustave:

I don't think anyone in this thread wants to fuck a female dog besides you, so how about you go and cry about it?



ZING! ouch.

I've realized that a little oxycodone in the morning relieves things temporarily. But that's sort of running away from your problems. But hey, I'm a pansy.

quote:Originally posted by Vampire Archimiel:

...Yea, hes addicted to drugs, so what? Does this make him any less deserving of love or affection?...

No, it just makes him less capable of attaining love or affection.

You're still quite young and figuring yourself out! The more complicated you are as a person, the more time it takes to find love with the right person. Sure, in the meantime, lust, infatuation, "serious like" and crushes will do, but no need to be terribly disappointed if these don't pan out.

We'll talk more!

How about you all just let him realize that he is never going to get off meth because less than 5% of the people that do it never get off of it.

Why do you think you see so many 35+ year old meth addicts?

He is going to rot away and no one is going to know that he exsists.

Unless he gets his shit together. Meth changes the chemical balance in your brain so your already not the same person you were when you first started smoking.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

How about you all just let him realize that he is never going to get off meth because less than 5% of the people that do it never get off of it.

So what, that's his burden to carry, not ours. Also, I'd love to see the source of your information, child.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Why do you think you see so many 35+ year old meth addicts?

You mean why do YOU see so many 35+ year old meth addicts. The answer is simple, you live in a shithole of a place.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

He is going to rot away and no one is going to know that he exsists.

I will, so you're wrong again.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Unless he gets his shit together. Meth changes the chemical balance in your brain so your already not the same person you were when you first started smoking.

ANYTHING changes chemical balances in the brain, try not eating for a few days, and then eating. You'll notice a difference in your personality. The human body is really that simple.

Ok moron why don't you read up before making some iggnorant posts.

Now after you suck off Infared and do a line of coke off his dick don't tell me how it was, but be sure to post how now your homosexual.

Anyways, you don't know where I live piggy and you have your own addictions and I doubt you could go without eating for a day.

The same way X puts a hole in your brain ass clown.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Ok moron why don't you read up before making some iggnorant posts.

Now after you suck off Infared and do a line of coke off his dick don't tell me how it was, but be sure to post how now your homosexual.

Anyways, you don't know where I live piggy and you have your own addictions and I doubt you could go without eating for a day.

The same way X puts a hole in your brain ass clown.

I'll make it short and simple: Stop crying, I'll always be better then you.

quote:Originally posted by Gustave:

I'll make it short and simple: Stop crying, I'll always be better then you.

Damn right to that!

quote:Originally posted by CatharticWeek:



It'd be hard for a girl to love you when you don't love yourself. Start doing that and before long you'll find a girl that loves you unconditionally.

I agree with that, but yeah, you could just pretend, but it wouldnt feel real now would it?

i actually feel sorry for some of you poor bastards.i mean that in a caring way.

Don't worry about where this goes Infrared. It's always nice to hear from you. You're the only one I know that can actually make a heart felt thread, and make it felt through totse.

As to your "problems" I'd have to say that these are obviously going to limit your chances with the majority.. Drug addicts are not very high up in anyones books that I know. I don't know what it's like to deal with an addiction, because I have a strong enough will to wear I dont get addictions.

But really dude.. since you've taken the first step, and admitted to your problems, you can fix them.. IF you want But why not get help? Go to a clinic or something to help with your addictions. Like I said I have no idea how bad you have it, nor do I know how strong your will is... So since I'm being nice, I won't consider you weak for not being to overcome problems..

Just get help dude. Talk to people, and tell them you're ready to change. If they're friends, they'll help you, if you don't have any, or whatever, then go to a clinic/councilling. Just get help. There's nothing better than talking to someone about a problem, no matter how insignificant. Well I think thats it.. I'd only be repeating myself if I talk more, so good luck Infrared. I wish the best for you dude

-[G-Prime]

First off, just to clear a few things up:

-This thread was made during a very depressive moment of mine, and now I kind of regret it; I hate to show emotion to people I don't know or trust, but I have nobody I really trust with them anymore. You'd think it'd make me a massive introvert, but it doesn't, always.

-I'm not exactly a meth addict; yes, I do love the stuff, but for one, it never really became an issue when I did try to quit everything. I'd only even vaguely crave it when I was really run-down or tired. While I use a lot of things, my only "real" addiction, both psychological and physical, is to narcotics. They're all I had serious craving issues with. Meth indeed fucks the hell out of you, which is why I don't use it that often.

There were probably more, but eh, fuck it.

And thanks to those who offered support or advice.

-Infrared

Infrared....

It is only because of what modern day society has forced everyone to beleive that people now think that their lives are 'incomplete' if they dont marry and have children.

These things, allthough pleasureable to some, are not the only goals in life, they are distractions, fun stuff to do along the way, something you do if you want to ,something you dont if you dont.

And that is all.

Your self loathing has become very destructive, it seems you're no longer taking drugs for drugs sake, but merely to yell at your body, your mind, scream 'Hah! Take that ! Motherfucker!!'

And this has to STOP.

No I'm not going to go into a drug lecture, that would be hypocritical of me and also not very usefull.

I think that despite them almost killing you, without drugs, you may have been dead a long time ago.

You've identified what you want and what you miss, (love) , and in time, you WILL remedy this problem.

Today is shit, tomorow may be shit, and even the day after that may well be shit, but you have to remember that nothing stays shit for long.

Dont give up just because things are rough at the moment, never give up.



*pokes Infrared*

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

How about you all just let him realize that he is never going to get off meth because less than 5% of the people that do it never get off of it.





And thus you prove you are infact a 13 year old so protected and coveted by mummy you've never seen the real world.



You know nothing about drugs, you are talking complete and utter shit.

There are people here who really have struggled with Meth a great deal. And it's been ugly.

So dont go opening your stupid fucking mouth and spewing such shit, because it really shows you for what you are:

A stupid, immature, ignorant, pathetic, little fool.

So do yourself a favour and shut the fuck up.

Infrared, given that I am probably around 5-10 years younger, and don't do drugs, and can't imagine having children, I feel the same way somtimes.

I love you in a non sexual manner.

Hi Infrared:

Never think "ferry-tales can't happen"!! They happen all the time....they've happened to me.....they will happen to you. Love, Venus.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:



Laugh all you want, but this fucking brings me to tears sometimes.

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 04-29-2004).]

You gotta find something that means something to you, and commit your self to it. When you put your heart into something worthwhile, it will fill the gap that is in your heart right now, and then chicks will notice that and get off on it.

Been about where you are man. Can I ask your age? IR, you got any attitude towards religion, spirituality?

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

How about you all just let him realize that he is never going to get off meth because less[i/] than 5% of the people that do it [i]never get off of it.

[B]

Less then 5% of people who do it never get off it? So that means 95% of people do!

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

[B]...Anyways, you don't know where I live piggy and you have your own addictions and blah blah blah...

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

You can meet me anytime you want hot shot.

I live and work off of northside in Fort Worth, Texas...



Yawn.