What I have been asking myself lately is when is it apropriate to go the the next step (phisically) in a relationship. I'm not talking about some shallow, sexually driven two week relationship, but a normal and steady one.

I've decided (for myself of course) that the level of sexual action should be based on how well I know the person. In my last relationship I hopped in the sack waaaay too soon, and I now regret doing so, which is why I've been pondering as to what my limits should be so that my current relationship doesn't get as messy as my last one was.

Anyway, the point of this thread is that I want to know the speed that y'all like to go at. Do you not have sex for the first month? wait until they say they love you? wait until marriage? do it the first chance that you can?

I've been all over the board in that respect. From screwing on the first night to circumstances that delayed things for a few months, and everything in between.

Personally, I prefer to not go at it right away and get to know her first. Partially out of holding her in higher regard and then it's just better to know something about who you're getting involved with. If things work out, then it's just a matter of time before agreeing to be exclusive.

To each their own pace...

I believe you should never have sex with a guy before he's had time to get his clothes completely off!! (hee hee).

Better rule, I think, is never have sex with a guy until you are comfortable with him...which depends totally on how YOU feel about everything. Love, Venus.

quote:Originally posted by Little Pea:

a normal and steady one.



thats not "normal". its not "normal" to deny your sexual attraction for an arbitrary period of time simply to fulfill some irrational social expectations. a person comfortable thinking with their own mind does what they want at the time they want to. they dont hold off like theres a government mandated waiting period.

God I hate you mrman. I believe you somewhat, and it makes sense, but I still think most people still have to fill those irrational social expectations.

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

thats not "normal". its not "normal" to deny your sexual attraction for an arbitrary period of time simply to fulfill some irrational social expectations...

Well, maybe it's because I'm a teenage, but sex really messes with my head. It makes me think and feel things that I don't really think and feel.

It would therefore jeopardize the "normalcy" of my relationship by making me think that I actually have a normal relationship that I am happy in. If I am in a shitty relationship with someone that's not my type, I want to know it, without sex confusing me.

Maybe I'll learn with time, but for now, I need some regulation.

quote:Originally posted by Little Pea:

Well, maybe it's because I'm a teenage, but sex really messes with my head. It makes me think and feel things that I don't really think and feel.

It would therefore jeopardize the "normalcy" of my relationship by making me think that I actually have a normal relationship that I am happy in. If I am in a shitty relationship with someone that's not my type, I want to know it, without sex confusing me.

Maybe I'll learn with time, but for now, I need some regulation.

this "relationship" is fucking with your head, making you think and feel things you dont really think or feel. look around you at these other teenage relationship addicts. notice the bullshit they try to pass off. "im not sexually attracted to anyone but my s/o." "id do anything at all for my s/o." these are obviously lies, but these people actually believe it when they say it. maybe you should hold off on this relationship thing until you are old enough to think for yourself.

I can very well think for myself, and am quite aware of the realities in my attractions and in my relationship. The only problem with me is that sex clouds those realities, which I'm sure it does for a lot of people. Maybe it's just the way we're wired. Although I'm sure you've overcome the obscurity that sex brings to life. It seems like you did it by making sex meaningless, but to each his own.

Dear MrMan:

Don't worry.... LittlePea definitely does think VERY WELL for herself!! That shows loud and clear in all her posts.

Her point here is so obvious that I don't understand why you are quarreling with her about it. Whether you call if "regulation" or not, it has to do with her need for COMFORT with the situation. IT'S "NORMAL" that a girl must feel "comfortable" with the situation before she moves forward in the relationship. When that occurs depends on the girl and the situation, and a whole lot of things you obviously don't know about. Is that too advanced for you to understand? Can you say "sorry" to LittlePea?!! No? OMG!! Love, Venus.

quote:Originally posted by pretty pinay:

Dear MrMan:

Don't worry.... LittlePea definitely does think VERY WELL for herself!! That shows loud and clear in all her posts.....



Okay now some clarification would be nice. From reading previous posts Little Pea ain't a she, he's a he.

Thanks for the information, Pathogen. So sorry for my mistake. But the logic is the same. Girl OR guy........must be comfortable with the situation before winding the relationship up tighter. Thanks again. Love, Venus.

No need to be sorry Ms. pinay... I might not have my facts straight, although I DO try to keep up with who's who in S&A.

mrman, you are a heartless, ignorant, closeminded, fucktard. learn some fucking respect.

pea, go with the flow. i know you're into her 'n all, but i think you're already goin' a little fast. i prefer to go slow and be patient. of course, i'm also just a virgin, so i probubly don't fully understand the "pull" that sex has on a person. i'd say you should stay with amanda for quite awhile before you ask her about it- and ASK! i know her, and she just may not be ready for a relationship like that.

^^^thanx kac, but I don't need any relationship advice. I know how to handle a relationship on my own.

"a normal and steady one."

A normal relationship isn't normal, because it's not normal to have a normal relationship. Confused? Good.

quote:Originally posted by scarletfire:

mrman, you are a heartless, ignorant, closeminded, fucktard. learn some fucking respect.

pea, go with the flow. i know you're into her 'n all, but i think you're already goin' a little fast. i prefer to go slow and be patient. of course, i'm also just a virgin, so i probubly don't fully understand the "pull" that sex has on a person. i'd say you should stay with amanda for quite awhile before you ask her about it- and ASK! i know her, and she just may not be ready for a relationship like that.

it isnt normal to have a fear of natural bodily functions. these excuses and rationalizations are like explaining why an 11 year old still shits its pants. the little bastard is a retard, thats why.