I have a few questions regarding sexual morals and such...

I had a little get together this week with some friends, just to watch the hockey game and have a few drinks. Typical guy get together right?

So anyways about mid evening this girl calls me up asking if she can come over and chill with us because she's bored and none of her friends are around. We all know this girl fairly well. I say ya, come on over.

She shows up, her being the only girl with about 5 guys there. We get to talking about things and my friend being the way he is asks to see her breasts. She refuses at first but finally gives in because my friend bugs her for a while. (There was no abuse of alcohol in this entire story, everybody is completely sober, if your wondering). Well she shows us and by then its fairly obvious my friend is only doing it for cheap shots because she isnt that populair but extremely easy.

We go back to watching the game and he and her go into the next room for about the next 2 hours. After that he comes out and tells us that he saw her completely naked, and that they did the entire touchy feely thing on each other. (No making out)

We asked him if he enjoyed it and he said yes. Then i ask him if he would ever go out with her. He gives me this disgusting look and says not in a million years. We then ask why he would do that with her if he didnt even like her. He said becuase she let me.

This kinda bothered me. Is it ok to do that to a girl that doesnt have very high self esteem and did most of it because of peer pressure and the fact that a slightly more populair guy asked her to?

We all thought it was kinda of low of my freind for doing that. What does eveybody else think? Please be mature with your answers.

Thanks.

Is it "ok"? Is it "ok" to steal from a mom and pop store 'cause pop went in the back for a bit? Is it "ok" to walk into Disneyland without paying 'cause it's quite possible to do so at certain times of the day? Is it "ok" to exit one movie in a multiplex, and saunter into another one 'cause it's easy to do and no one stops you? Is it "ok" to hit someone else's car and drive away 'cause no one saw you?

All in the eye of the beholder.

My opinion? A decent, right-thinking person will do the decent thing and not take advantage of someone else's lack of self-esteem or common sense, misfortune or bad timing. But people have their own moral and ethical codes, and will justify just about anything.

It's possible that the girl actually wanted to do what she did, for her own kicks. Who knows.

deadlycindy is 100% right. your mate needs to rethink his values.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

It's possible that the girl actually wanted to do what she did, for her own kicks. Who knows.

It sounds to me like there was mutual consent. I don't see what the problem is.

quote:Originally posted by MrEricSir:

Originally posted by deadlycindy:

It's possible that the girl actually wanted to do what she did, for her own kicks. Who knows.

It sounds to me like there was mutual consent. I don't see what the problem is.



Not exactly mutual consent, more of a peer pressure issue. Wonder why they were in there for 2 hours when all that happened was 5 mins of exposure? He had to convince her to do it.

Everything sounds like it was consensual. Adults consenting to whatever should not be an issue. Your friend seems to have no problem with capitalizing on someone's weakness. The girl sounds like she's definitely lacking in self-esteem but may need to do what she did to feel accepted.

Who's to judge?

My opinion? I think your friend is using his popularity for cheap thrills and taking advantage of her.

I think that your friend is somewhat of an ass. Nothing personal, but if he is going to use girls then I wouldn't want to be around him.

It does seem like your friend took advantage of this girl, though she was asking for it by going to a gathering of 6 guys watching hockey.

I second that notion... ^^^^

Women aren't for taking advantage of, in my opinion. But, then again, what would you do; that is the question of morals.

quote:Originally posted by CatharticWeek:



It does seem like your friend took advantage of this girl, though she was asking for it by going to a gathering of 6 guys watching hockey.

Your post reminds me of the commercial that says real men don't force "no matter what she is wearing, or what she has done in the past, or what she said before..."

Either way, I agree that it is a question of morals.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Is it "ok" to steal from a mom and pop store 'cause pop went in the back for a bit?

No.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Is it "ok" to walk into Disneyland without paying 'cause it's quite possible to do so at certain times of the day?

Yes.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Is it "ok" to exit one movie in a multiplex, and saunter into another one 'cause it's easy to do and no one stops you?

Yes.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Is it "ok" to hit someone else's car and drive away 'cause no one saw you?

No.

If she is of age, then it is okay. If she is not, then it is not.

What are you going to do...tell some person they cannot concent to sexual activity because you don't think they have the mental capacity to do so? If she is legally insane, that is one thing. But no one is perfect, and we still can make choices.

Edit: the answer to all of DC's non-analogous scenarios is no.

[This message has been edited by Easy Going (edited 04-18-2004).]

Thanks for the advice all, man I sure am not thinking very highly of my friend right now. He told me today that he doesnt want anyone to know and to keep it a secret.

Your friend lacks morals for doing anything with a girl who he is disgusted by and would never go out with, and because he decided to come out and tell everyone what went on. That's no one's business but his and hers. I hate kiss and tellers.

Just because he got her nekkid and touched her...she agreed, whether or not she was pressured by him, doesn't mean he should be tarred and feathered.

I wouldn't be too mad at your boy for doing this, but if it bothers you, you might want to confront the girl.

If she's easy then it's her goddamn problem, not his.