OK for the most part im a quiet/shy kid especially around new people and defiantly those that are girls I like and it doesn't help at all when I take my ritalin which just makes it harder to be more outgoing. Recently I hung out with my friend at lunch with a group of girls who are his friends and theres one in particular I like but the problem is shes just as quiet well proboly more so then me and I need tips on this from others who are shy/quiet that have found good ways to initiate conversation. This past week ive not been taking my ritalin which has helped me be more outgoing but only with the others in the group since the girl I like is always quiet and never part of anything but rather just there in the background. Its pissing me off because I dont know what to do, im going to definatly try to get to know her/start conversation with her tommorow no matter how uncomfortable/stupid I feel about it. Is there anyone thats got advice that is also shy/quiet on how to start a conversation or how to get rid of some of the nervousness? Damnit this gets me frusterated because I know that if I could just be alone with her for a half a minitue I could talk to her but the problem is theres always one of her friends or my friend around which makes me a bit more nervous to try to talk to her.

I was like that, save maybe the rittlin. However you spell that shit. I would just talk to her more and more every day, then ask her out.

Talk to her a little, but definitely not too much, you don't want her to LJBF (let's just be friends) you. Always be the one to end the conversation and make sure you leave her wanting more. Don't reveal much about yourself through what you tell her. These actions and her reactions to them should give you a good idea of her interest level in you. It may all seem complicated at first, but trust me, it works.

Get her talking. Everyone has at least one or two topics they're willing to expound on, even if it takes some effort to get them to do so. To that end, just keep taking shots at various subjects that you know or think she has an interest in. If she gives a slight positive response, be forward (but not overbearing) about wanting to hear what she has to say.

Shy kids in general are quiet because they don't feel like anyone wants to listen to them. Many times they can be skeptical of initial attempts to get them to open up, too, so try to get her talking about something you might actually have an interest in hearing about. Your sincerity will count for a lot.

quote:Originally posted by Spiffy McBang:



Shy kids in general are quiet because they don't feel like anyone wants to listen to them. Many times they can be skeptical of initial attempts to get them to open up, too, so try to get her talking about something you might actually have an interest in hearing about. Your sincerity will count for a lot.

This makes a WHOLE lot of sense, I mean when im quiet I usually will have something to say but don't because I feel like noone wants to listen or whatever. Thanks for the advice hopefully I won't be to nervous because I don't want to give the impression im not confident or whatever.

I'm a total fucking dumbass - what is ritalin?

quote:Originally posted by bad little girl:

I'm a total fucking dumbass - what is ritalin?

When I get to fiddlin', I just take my ritalin, I'm poppin' and sailin' man! Honk Honk!

That should sum things up

some shit you take when you have ADHD.. or ADD. i took some of that shit, I have neither "disability" but it calms you down LIKE A FOX. I can ace tests left and right, but with out that shit I get like 89% on the same test... its awsome!

ok, ask her a question.

Exapmles are: What kinda music do you listen to?, Do you like dinosaurs? (I forget who posted that)

make a comment:

I like your hair, You have pretty eyes, I like your hands, somnething like that

Initiating the convosation in half the battle.

Nice I like the quote from Big Daddy lol. Well I tried to talk to her today but was semi unsuccsefull. I asked her about her earing because she had a belly button ring in there and she only replied with a nod, then a little while later I asked why she was so quiet and she didn't say anything I think she shrugged but she started to turn away after I asked her, I think she might just be shy because my friend teased her while I was trying to talk to her which may have made her a little uncomfortable when I tried talking to her. This is pretty damn frusterating since I have to wait till monday to try again, but at least I know I wont be nervous or anything. Im definatly having a talk with my friend though first so he doesnt do anything to fuck it up since I know that I would be embarrased if someone was trying to talk to me and someone was turning it into a joke/tease.

AC what happend to that girl you loved who you were gonna meet?

~H

Use the worm-do line, gets me five chix a night

r0x0r!!

Maybe you should leave your friend be. If he decides to be a jackass again, tell him to fuck off and leave her alone. It bothers you, right? She'd probably appreciate it, at the very least.

Just don't be an asshole and set it up. Shy kids have a tendency to be more observant because they're not busy talking. She'll probably notice if it's all a ploy.

There used to be a girl I knew who was always around but very quiet…first I though she just disliked me but appartely she’s always like that…

Anyway end of the story I never chatted to her and I kinda wish I did…..

Thing is I find quiet girls very attractive because I assume either

1/ they dislike most people the same as me

2/ they’re slightly geeky

both of these things are very attractive to me but then again I assume too much…..

Well she decided it would be best if we just stayed friends but its no biggie since I realized she didn't really love me after some shit had happended and how she dealt with it/reacted so we will still see each other this summer but not as BF/GF. And I don't understand what you mean here spiffy

"Just don't be an asshole and set it up. Shy kids have a tendency to be more observant because they're not busy talking. She'll probably notice if it's all a ploy."

I don't know what you mean by "ploy" since im not really looking to hook up with her just for sex sex sex, im looking for someone to be with and since shes hot and seems cool from what ive seen then why not try going out and if it doesn't work and to much differences then we could break up if we do actually hook up.

A ploy, a trick, a gimmick. In this case, I meant don't ask your friend to act like a cock towards her again so you can tell him to buzz off, thereby hoping to impress her in some small way. I have no reason to believe you would, but better to have it said than leave that infinitesimal chance alive.

Ok I get it now I knew what a ploy was but I didn't get what trick you were talking about. And yea I wouldn't set that up because I actually don't want my friend to be around when I talk to her because then ill just be more nervous.

That sucks AC, where do you live anyway what state?

~H

Az and its no biggie really im actually better off really cause now I don't have to worry about how ill be able to be with her and not get caught by her parents and shit.

Ok I tried talking to her again and basically same shit she didn't talk at all. Im going to have her friend talk to her before lunch and see whats up and all. I think I might have fucked up on the third try to talk to her today at lunch because I was really hyper and spinning around and she was being quiet like usual and we were with the group and then out of the blue I stopped spinning and in a "outdoor" voice was like "why the hell are you always so quiet" but even though it was in a joking tone I think I fucked up but I was to hyper anyways. Yea if I don't get her to talk by friday im giving up thanks for your guys advice.

Rail a high dose of your Ritalin, it'll get you talking real nice like.

Don't do that.

Just take a deep breath, tell yourself "Even if I fuck up, there will always be more chances", and say something to her.

YAY she finally said something to me. We had a "picknic" at school where we have an hour lunch and the whole school just hangs out with those big inflatable slides and shit with food. Well I was hanging with my friend and she was there and she had a shirt with some asian writing and I asked if it was japanese or something and she was like 'Yea it is'. It took a few seconds to compute but then I was like OH shit you just said something WOAH, then later I asked her why she always wears the freaking belly button ring in her ear and she was like "because its cool" so thats two succseful tries and now im so happy because I had decided that if she hadn't talked to me that day I was going to give up since the day before and that morning were turning out to be so fucking shitty. Moral of the story is if a girl is shy just keep trying to get her to talk and having her friend talk to her a little proboly will help out as well damn I can't wait till monday so I can talk to her again.

quote:Originally posted by AprenticeChemist:

YAY she finally said something to me. We had a "picknic" at school where we have an hour lunch and the whole school just hangs out with those big inflatable slides and shit with food. Well I was hanging with my friend and she was there and she had a shirt with some asian writing and I asked if it was japanese or something and she was like 'Yea it is'. It took a few seconds to compute but then I was like OH shit you just said something WOAH, then later I asked her why she always wears the freaking belly button ring in her ear and she was like "because its cool" so thats two succseful tries and now im so happy because I had decided that if she hadn't talked to me that day I was going to give up since the day before and that morning were turning out to be so fucking shitty. Moral of the story is if a girl is shy just keep trying to get her to talk and having her friend talk to her a little proboly will help out as well damn I can't wait till monday so I can talk to her again.

YAY ac did it, finally a rel follow up. oh and my ex gf wore a belly ring as an ear ring. i used to pull it. pull hers and see what she does, my ex used to like it.

ask her what kinda music she likes next, everyone likes some kinda music.



or... on monday talk about movies, see what kinda movies she likes, and then find one that you think shell like either at the movie theatre or one you can rent. make sure its something she hasnt seen. i guarntee that.

[This message has been edited by bushy (edited 04-24-2004).]

Ahhhh what a wonderful world...Where men are shunned for their penis size, women feel they have to be skinny to be beautiful and everyone depends on some form of drug!

Get off the Ritalin dude...Be a fuckin' man and do things for yourself without the help of drugs..Ya junkie!

Look buddy...Two shy people can't logically speak to each other.

Seeing as they are both shy and not willing to initiate conversation, no conversations will happen!

Just be brave and talk to her.

Ask her why she's so quiet...Ask her name...Then, before you know it, you're having a conversation with the girl you like!

Amazing that innit?!

OK sorry for bringing up my dead and rotting thread but I must just make this one last quick update. OK I got it all settled now and am proboly asking the girl out the end of this week or next week depending on how much I talk to her by friday. OK just one last thing now to answer my stupid question I asked all you got to do is ask the girl small questions at first even if its just one a day or something if she responds it will help you get some confidence and be less shy, then just start asking more then one or what ever and eventually youll be ready like I am and she will also open up more and more each time. Right now she actualy responds in WHOLE sentences where as when I first tried talking to her she just shrugged also she makes eye contact when talking now so as this last update just try people TRY and youll be happy that you did. Ok once again sorry for bringing back this dead thread. Oh and phsyco I havent taken my ritalin in about three weeks lol thats also another thing DO NOT TAKE your ADD medicine it will help ALOT.