all right, guys. here's the dish.



my best friend lives about fifty miles away. he's 17 and a half; a year and a half older than me, one grade. he's a junior. and i never ever ever get to see him because his parents are complete nazis, and won't let him do ANYTHING [they're way uptight]. A while ago [novemberish and decemberish]i really liked him. he liked me too; but nothing could happen, i knew that, because his parents wouldnt even let him go see me. theres no point to going out if our relationship won't change at all. then, i thought i stopped liking him. Now, i got to see him for the first time in SEVEN MONTHS friday. thats a long time. we had a good time; nothing happened. i went home, sat on my bed, and finally figured out EXACTLY how i felt about him.



i'm in love, people.



and i do NOT know what to do. he just [i.e. about a month] got out of a 6 month relationship, which isnt bad for high school, and he told me he doesnt want another relationship in high school. that would be about a year from now, a little more. i dont know how he feels about me, except that we're very close friends. also, he's moving out in november, when he turns 18. as soon as i turn 18, march of my senior year, i'm moving up to live with him and four other guys who are gonna be living in the house. we wouldnt be sleeping together, just living together; he doesnt believe in sex before marriage, so i know that for sure. i can't see myself with anyone else, and i've never felt this way about anyone; and i've been around. what the hell do i do...is it worth telling him i like him considering the circumstances? also, we only talk online [though we do that a lot] because we're both phone-phobics. and if you do think i should tell him how i feel..whats the best way?

OMG... I remember that. Okay, first of all, BREATHE. Now, are you calm? Okay, moving on.

Honey, you have to understand. This is a GUY. I know you're in love with him right now, but things change. If you really feel that he's worth it, than WAIT. Good gracious, I cannot stress this enough. WAIT.

You say he likes you, but doesn't want another "high school" relationship. Okay, yay for him. But you're talking about doing is what, two years down the road? You can make these plans all day long, but it's very and distincly possible that none of these things will come about. You are stressing over something that may or may not happen in the future. If you like him, then tell him you like him. But don't commit yourself to him, don't promise him anything, and most of all, DON'T SELL YOURSELF SHORT. I know you don't want to hear this, but you are still young. I do believe that you feel that you are in love. And that's really all being in love is: a feeling. But to truly love someone is a different things and takes a different set of circumstances. But being that you are still so young, please don't sell yourself short. Sure, tell the guy that you like him. But hold off on making all those plans. You've got a lot of life to live before any of this can even potentially happen, you know.

Hmmm... that's all a little confusing. Let me summarize.

Tell him you like him, but don't make so many plans.

Breathe.

Don't stress over stuff that is still years in the future.

And honey, if you do move in with him, you'll have sex with him. You can say, "No I won't" all you want, but you will. That's just how it is. Temptation, honey, is almost impossible to beat in those circumstances.

Suck his balls. Guys love ball sucking.

Heh, I typed out 3 different responses before this one, which is my gut feeling. Since you plan on sharing a household, consider waiting a few weeks into that venture to confess your feelings. My sense is that you both have some growing to do, and nothing forces maturity faster than living independently.

But that depends on what you might want out of "love". Do you want a lasting relationship? Or do you just want something to make you feel good now, but might turn out weird? If the former, wait on telling him. If the latter, blunder ahead.

thanks guys, and a coupla things;

christy; it would be fine with ME if we had sex. its more like i think he wouldnt be down with it [unfortuantely]. he's a very strong christian..his last girlfriend he refused to be alone in a house or place w/ because he didnt want anything to happen that he couldn't stop. he's like that.



cindy; yeah, i want a long-term relationship. i do have to say you're the only person who has told me to NOT tell him; but it does make sense. after all, as i wont be seeing hin for 221 days from today, things could change. and its not like not telling him will hurt anything we might have, because even if we DID go out, our relationship really wouldn't change.

*bangs head against wall* i'm so confused....

he doesn't want a relationship in high school? he may not like you in that way. his parents are nazis? maybe he was just telling you that. look i know how you feel. like there is nobody else for you. believe me you will find somebody else. you will think this is puppy love. it is not worth waiting on somebody that shows signs of not liking you.



221 days till you see him again!!!!!!!!!!!

you might as well get a marine getting ready to overseas.

[This message has been edited by luvujaime (edited 04-13-2004).]

What the hell are you so confused about? You have a plan and you know your feelings. So, as stated, blunder ahead. Be cautious and prepared for things to go pear-shaped, but blunder ahead. And keep enough of your heart to heal yourself and move ahead, should the whole operation go FUBAR.