Ok, on friday I went out to the bars with a girlfriend of mine. She is attractive, but in the past 2 years or so has put on a few pounds. Now, after that night I know I should have kept that to myself, but anyway. We were chilling and drinking, and I was a little tipsy, noticing her pretty face. So, I say "you know, you're a pretty girl", she smiles, then I say "but you've chunked out a bit since I met you, you should work out", no more smile. She got really upset and wierd about it, and bought me drinks later for some unknown reason. Anyway, when we got back to my house she wanted to sleep in my because our couch is pretty shite. She's slept in my bed before, just friends y'know, but, the combination of me being drunk and horny made me say, and I quote "I don't wan't you sleeping in my bed unless I get some action", now she was drunk too, and it worked, but I can tell it upset her and wierded things out, because we are friends and I would never date her. Anyway, I'm an asshole, just felt like getting that off my chest.

yes you are.

Not only are you an asshole your an asshole who banged a fat chick.

What's it like to root a fat bitch, asshole?

you fucking bastard.

That's a pretty funny story, hehe. You're kind of a bastard though. Oh well.