I've been dating a girl for three months and we've done everything except sex. So I talked to one of her friends about it and she said that she was told that my dick was to big. First I was really happy cause you don't hear that everyday. But then I realized it sucks. The worst part about it is that its only 8 and a half so its not big enough for porn I'm guessing. Does anyone have any advice on how i can get laid?

Shut up.

I second that.

When joke threads become totally relevant...

http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/007155.html

Why do you lie to us when we will never meet you in life and be like "hey that guys gotta biggen"? Whats the point?

Cut it in half.

Lengthwise.

^ Haha, it;d be like working with a teeny hammer....

Eight and a half? That's it? Christ, mine can't even by measured by three-dimensional mathematics.

*Two can play at this game*

my penis is 8,763 miles long and 2,858 miles wide but most of it is in the 4th dimension.

my dick is 200 feet long and a inch wide!

^^LMAO

Id say you have your self a mighty twig..

I'm not going to disrespect you. If you are to big for your girlfriend DO NOT cheat on her but tell her truthfully about how you feel about the situation you're in. I'm just going to say if you want to have meaningful sex with your girlfriend slide it in maybe half way and be gentle with her and her body.

It's your girl and your dick man so just ask her if she would like to have sex and just work with her on a girlfriend to boyfriend level.

hooker

These "Big Penis" threads are seemingly dominated by the most anatomically ignorant guys on Totse!! So please let a girl imput a little reality into all your BS. A mature girl's vagina is VERY (almost magically) stretchible and flexible. In its relaxed state, it is so small it would be tight on a finger. But when it needs to, it will also easily stretch to let a newborn child, weighing 8 to 10 pounds pass through -- then quickly resume its tiny state, so it is tight on a finger again. Since very few penises get to be as big as a newborn baby, or weigh more than 8 to 10 pounds, there should be no problem that your mature GF can't handle -- at least with a little foreplay and gentleness that a sensitive guy like you would give her!! (hee hee)! Love, Venus.

pretty pinay, I know just what you mean (http://www.fisting.com/)...

LOL

What a fun thread to read.

And Pinay, i never really thought of that before.

Of course, Pinay specifically said mature, ie. adult... if this doesn't work with your teenage girlfriend, don't be overly shocked. It'll definitely take more work.

You're so full of shit.. 8 1/2 inches is well above average. If this is the case, and you can't get laid you're an idiot (see Snoopy).. and if you're lying (probably) quit trolling, S&A has enough to deal with without your BS.