What are your thoughts?

Wtf is Polyamory?

Well, I find that the premise that it relies on "being in love with more than one person", seems to me to be pretty damn impossible.

To me, being in love constitutes giving the person your all, putting them on a pedestal above yourself and everyone else. Now if you are "in love", with two partners, and a situation arises where you are going to have to choose one over the other, what do you do? I find this to be a problem with polyamoury and I will list why.

People talk about polyamorous couples who are married, where, when it comes down to it, they choose their husband over the other people "they are in love with". To me this means that those other people they profess to love, aren't really being loved, because the person in question isn't staying with them (Something which would happen if they did put the rejected partner on a pedestal (something which necessitates the devotional aspect of "love"))

In light of this, I believe that polyamoury is just an excuse to give meaning to a swingers lifestyle. You're still fucking around with each other's knowledge and consent, and when it comes down to it, you choose one partner's needs over another. Hence I think it's a lame way for those wanting to bang without discrimination, to do so whilst maintaining in their eyes a modicum of self-respect.

[This message has been edited by Durell (edited 04-04-2004).]

Ooo so thats what it is.

Now i know, i don't think it is possible because if you really do love someone you can't love someone else to. Doesn't work.

Just because it can cause an insane amount of stress and complications doesn't mean it's not possible to be in love with two people at the same time.

Surely most of you have friends, probably of a number greater than one. Everyone has a different level of caring about their friends, and about certain friends compared to others. You may even be able to say you love certain friends, albeit in a non-romantic way. It's not uncommon for someone to have a friend they care about so deeply, and a significant other they love as well. Why, then, is it impossible to love two people romantically at the same time?

I would be skeptical of anyone who claims to be in love with two people at once. Most of the time, they're merely in lust with one or both and indecisive. It takes a certain confluence of circumstances to bring about this sort of scenario.. but it can happen.

I don't really have an oppinion, I was just wondering what everyone else thought.

mex

Well, the reason I put forward was the notion that "romantic love", necessitates a platonic devotion. I like to describe it as a feeling that is "Conditional, but when in place, lacking any boundaries (Not very catchy)"

With this in mind, if you think you "love", two other people and they end up fighting, and you end up in a position where you have to choose one over the other; the one you've rejected couldn't have been "loved", imo.

To me, romantic love is an intense commitment and devotion, it isn't at all comparable to friendship or love for one's family. As I said before it's "Putting the person you love on a pedestal (before all others, even yourself (platonic))." And this isn't something I feel you can do towards two people at once due to the possible hypothetical conflict between the two "loved", parties.

I guess I basically think the quote best summing up my point in meaning... although a bit crudely worded, is "a dog can't serve two masters"... ahem

Out of interest, Durell, are you a man or a woman?

Why in hell would you want to do that to yourself?