i am really confident with my weight and looks, but i havent eaten properly (not even a third of what i usually eat) over the past few months. Every moment i have to think to myself (e.g. meal time) i am too preoccupied with my thoughts to eat, even looking at food when i havent eaten for a day and a half makes me feel sick, but i really want to eat it! I always have thoughts of my boyfriend and our relationship on my mind, therefore making me worried (because it hasn't been smooth lately).

I have lost a lot of weight (people have commented that i look skinnier, clothes don't fit as well as they use to) and what's more important my health or my emotions?

if i break up with him i'll be even sadder (who knows what will happen to my eating habits), but i don't know if my body can take it if things don't get better (we have been going out for almost 8 months now, and i figure this relationship potentially could be much more long-term so i have been waiting/trying for it to be better).

pls help!

If you were in a good relationship, would your weight really matter? You sound as if it will all end if you stop losing weight. My question is: is your fear of weight gain caused by your own fear of him dumping you because of it, or has he directly came out and said that it will end unless you lose weight?

The former says, to me, that some communication is needed on your part. The latter means it's time to get rid of him.

i think you didn't understand my post properly...

my weight loss has not been due to what he has said or done, has been due to me worrying about us. it isn't an issue to do with self-confidence or what i believe he thinks of me physically, or what he has said.

i have communicated to him about me losing weight, but i couldn't tell him that it was because of "us" that i think i have been losing it. he said that there is no way in the world i need to lose any weight because i am thin enough, and he said this in confidence not like he was trying to reassure me (because i believe that i don't need to!).

quote:Originally posted by seckseewon:

i think you didn't understand my post properly...

my weight loss has not been due to what he has said or done, has been due to me worrying about us. it isn't an issue to do with self-confidence or what i believe he thinks of me physically, or what he has said.

i have communicated to him about me losing weight, but i couldn't tell him that it was because of "us" that i think i have been losing it. he said that there is no way in the world i need to lose any weight because i am thin enough, and he said this in confidence not like he was trying to reassure me (because i believe that i don't need to!).

so, you dont know exactly why... umm, have you tried to eat more? What hasnt been smooth? Has this been going on the whole time youve been dating?

I think you should talk to him, How much have you lost? if its a lot then maybe you should take a break, Your health is more important than any relationship.

Good luck.

I think if this guy really loves you, it wouldnt matter if you were fat or not. Don't take that the wrong way. I think all girls worry about their weight too much. By the sounds of your post you are already really skinny. I'm sure hes not lying to you about how you look. Some guys dont talk about it that much becuase they are uncomfortable giving compliments (ie. me). Just beleive what he says, becuase I guarentee its the truth. I know its all in your head. But you need to put it aside. Or just have some snacks instead of meals. It's cool to want to lose weight, but not when it becomes a problem. All i can say is try to convince yourself that your hungry. If your eating at least one good meal a day, you dont really have anything to worry about.

(health wise) Hope that helps.



EDIT: Reread post, I misunderstood. That is normal for you to not want to eat when its rocky, I've been going thru some things with my girlfreind i was 145 last week now im 138, I know how you feel. Just beleive things will get better, in due time.

[This message has been edited by Psychotogen (edited 03-31-2004).]

Since your not in denial you should go see a doctor about this issue as eating is very important as you must know.

Or perhaps you could smoke some weed. It works for people with aids who are "wasting" and for chemo patients who are queezy. Unless you think its an evil drug and should never be touched ofcourse

First thing to do is start eating again no matter what...

oh, you could be my ex-gf, the result of this behaviour was her becoming anorexic twice. So there´s only one solution, and you know it.

As has been stated above, if he loves you, he loves you no matter what you weigh. Start eating. NOW. If you can't, get help before this gets out of hand.

if it's relationship problems that are bugging you, you should definitely talk it out with him instead of hoping things will smooth over. and honestly speaking, if it doesn't work out, so what? there's plenty of other guys out there. just because this one relationship doesn't work out doesn't mean they never will. you may think/feel that this is going somewhere but sometimes you just have to take a step back and look at the big picture. and hey, if you two are really meant to be, you will be together, but your eating habits shouldn't be affected by it. if you keep at it i think you should see a doctor about it.

I'm in the same situation with a boyfriend of 4 years. I was too afraid of "what if things got better and I lost him" and all that. Don't believe it. It's the only thing holding you back most likely. Also the comfort of having someone who's there to hug all the time. That's nice too. Nothing a few quick flings won't fix though(best way to get over one man is to get under another).

I dumped his ass, painful as it was, and am now trying to move on. He's in the other room fixing my brothers computer now... Why does he have to be in the same house. ugh

If you want the cowards' way which will also hurt him(I took this but he deserves it after how he's treated me!) just tell him you need some space to think about things then just stop talking and slowly drift away. It's effective and gives you time to think and get over it at least a little before you have to tell him to go fuck himself. Try it!

The relief will be great. Trust me. Good luck anyway...

[This message has been edited by Purple Phreaxxx (edited 03-31-2004).]

Anorexia is phat…..

quote:Originally posted by BSK:

oh, you could be my ex-gf, the result of this behaviour was her becoming anorexic twice. So there´s only one solution, and you know it.

Yes: Eat your boyfriend.

quote:Originally posted by jay666:

Anorexia is phat…..

LOL

eat a sammich or get some help-see a doc/counsellor/pastor

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 03-31-2004).]

Smoke weed, your problems will go away. You'll get hungry too. It's like killin' two birds with 1 stone. (pun intended)

quote:Originally posted by jay666:

Anorexia is phat…..

somebody clicked on the T-shirt hell ad.

The reason you feel sick but hungry at the same time while looking at food after having not eaten for a day and a half is becuase, you haven't eaten for a day and a half. If you get hungry enough you'll get sick at the thought of food no matter how hungry you are, start out slow drink fruit juices, hunger stimulant, and drink soup. Eat some crackers with the soup, then start eating solid, non-greasy, foods. AFter tha tyou should feel quite a bit better, remember you have to do it even if you think you're going to feel sick because what you're doing right now is really unhealthy.

SHES SAID 3 TIMES ALREADY SHE DOESNT EAT BECAUSE IT MAKES HER SICK WHEN SHE THINKS OF HER BOYFRIEND NOT BECAUSE SHE THINKS SHES FAT!!!! My ex girlfriend told me when she broke up with me everytime she ate food she would throw it up not on purpose but because she thought of me and it made her sick so she never ate. Now shes over me and is eating so i say get over him.

Break it down simply.

You're not eating because you're stressed. Therefore, you need to de-stress. Easy enough concept, right?

You're stressed due to relationship problems of a general nature, ie. it doesn't sound as if there's one sticking point between the two of you that can be resolved to make things better. Obviously, that's a complication, but the sky isn't falling.

Yet.

Your physical health and your emotions are intertwined. As one improves or declines, often the other does as well. In this case, emotional stress is affecting your physical health, and you need a solution before you waste away. Could it not be as simple as talking to him?

He's part of this. He may not understand exactly why you're not eating- given the ludicrous percentage of respondents to this thread who are in the same boat, I suppose it shouldn't be a huge surprise- but you have to make him understand, lest he continually tell you that you look fine, you don't need to lose weight, etc. If it doesn't sink in no matter what you try, it could be that dumping him is the only answer- I'm not sure someone that brain-dead would make you happy over the long haul anyway.

Of course, hopefully he does catch on, in which case it will be easier to talk things over and figure out what the hell is going on, and what the hell is going wrong. I've noticed that one's state of mind can improve dramatically, even without an answer, if you just find a starting point to work from.

There aren't a whole lot of potential outcomes, if that makes it any easier. You can dump him and get it together again, perhaps slowly, perhaps not; you can stay with him and continue to suffer; or you can figure it out and go back to being happy with him. For all the myriad possibilities, everything points towards one of those broad paths. I'm sure number two isn't a nice option to consider; you have to figure out whether the first or the last is the right way to go.

That happened to me when my girlfriend and i were having toubles i just didnt feel like eating anything i lost like 15 pounds or somethin my apirite did come back thow after like a month or so

what a stupid thread.. If you feel you can't tell him something that might make or break your relationship, then theres no hope for you anyways. You have to be truthful with him. Do what makes you happy. He's happy with you. Pull yourself together.

*slaps forehead*

Seek psychological help. Your feelings aren't normal, you're hurting yourself, and chances are you are too young to be in a really serious relationship in which the problems would be big enough to cause you that kind of stress.

well, we broke up today. i came to realise that my health IS more important now and that he isn't worth all of this pain when things really aren't getting any better.

i went to pizza hut tonight and i could eat. i was happy to eat. i am too young to be in such a serious relationship and i'm gonna give up guys for a while...a long while.

maybe this is just a 24 hour notion, or maybe i'll have this appetite forever. all i know is that even after a few hours without him i am feeling better.

gee i feel refreshed! (and are going to seek councelling now...)

quote:Originally posted by toast_and_bananas2002:

My ex girlfriend told me when she broke up with me everytime she ate food she would throw it up not on purpose but because she thought of me and it made her sick so she never ate.

That’s because she kept getting flash-backs of when you had your slimly little hands on her…..

Broke up did you. Well you've got to be happy

with yourself first (so I'm told...I really wouldn't know ). Makes sense though.

Do you know, as far as eating goes, after a diet or a prolonged period (ouch) of not eating enough, your body more easily gains weight. As I understand it, a body under such

stress thinks it's going through a famine & becomes more efficient at using food.

It wants to store extra fat, incase the famine is ongoing. That's why extreme diets are wonky. Thing is: Even if you eat a regular (for youse) amount, if you've really

slacked on food...you might really gain.

Depends, all depends though, on your unique situation. Catches a lot of folks out,

don't it? Good luck.

Congrats very very much on the breakup. I'm glad to hear it.

quote:Originally posted by seckseewon:

gee i feel refreshed! (and are going to seek councelling now...)

Why?

because i have always needed it! and now that i have one less worry (the boyfriend/relationship situation) i can concentrate more on my own problems (abuse etc), rather than the ones that arose from something that was meant to help them all...

btw, it's been over a week that we've broken up and the appetite is still holding up! =)

thanks for the comments guys, oh and moonmeister that weight info is really interesting.

xx

quote:Originally posted by Purple Phreaxxx:

...Nothing a few quick flings won't fix though(best way to get over one man is to get under another)....]

You always were a little slut, hehe. Not exactly the healthiest way to get over someone, but hell, it's your life.

As for this thread, buy some appitite stimulators.