Here is a quick conversation that a girl brought up that I really like, and I dont know what to make of it. Does it sound like I should enforce how much I like her, or try and boost her confidence? I am assuming every girl says theyre fat, but I dont understand. She has a really, really beautiful face, a great ass, great boobs, and she has a small, like 2 inch fat roll when she sits down. Maybe someone else can decipher?



Her: hey i was thinkin bout somethin while i was in the shower

Me: lol

Her: why do you like me like seriously

Me: Whats that?

Me: Is this a trick question?

Me: Because if it is a trick question and/or you really dont like me, im not going to answer it

Her: no its not a trick question

Her: im being serious and i do really like you

Her: i like you a lot

Me: I like you because you are pretty much perfect in everything there is to be

Her: i mean i dont see what you see in me, i smoke, i smoke weed, and thats disgusting

Me: I can deal with that stuff, I would even manage if you did it everyday

Me: Everything about you is great

Her: it doesnt bother you at all?

Me: Well, it bothers me in the fact that you arent helping your body, but I like you so I can deal with it

Me: If you said its disgusting, why do you do it?

Her: well im addicted to cig. and if i would try to quit i think i would kill someone because somethin always happens to stress me out, and i could quit smoking weed

Her: thats not a big deal

Me: Yeah

Her: but sometimes i like it i dont do it all the time

Me: Yeah, I know

Me: I would like you no matter what

Me: Well, not no matter what but still

Her: yeah

Her: i was just thinkin about that

Her: so i wanted to ask

Me: haha, what made you think about that?

Her: i dont know, im just doubting myself tonite i guess

Her: i dont know

Me: Doubting yourself as how?

Her: i dont know, im just thinkin about things and whats wrong with me and stupid stuff im just in one of those moods

Me: Well get out of that mood

Her: but it wasnt a trick question because i dont see how i couldnt like you, your great

Me: Thats not a good mood to be in

Her: yeah i know i get like this like couple times a week

Her: but im fine

Me: This sounds like what you said before you started to like somone else...

Me: But what are you thinking?

Her: omg shut up

Me: Srry

Her: i dont like *********, and i wouldnt choose him over you again, i made the mistake once

Her: he can be happy in his own little world

Me: Ok, ok ok

Her: k

Me: Im trying to understand, what do you think is wrong with you?

Her: i dont like myself sometimes

Me: Or what

Me: Why not?

Her: because, im fat, i really dont do anything right, im not all that smart, i smoke, i never kno anything and i feel stupid as hell

Her: and theres probably more

Her: but im not sure yet'

Me: Ok, well you are NOT FUCKING FAT, how many times do I have to tell you??? Not just me, but 7 other people I know that you know, think that you arent fat. I am fat

Me: Whats there not to do right?

Her: ur not fat dork

Me: You arent stupid, and everyone feels stupid every now and then, its a part of life

Me: See? I can keep saying yes I am, and you would just keep saying no you're not

Me: Ok...if you are fat, why does everyone like you?

Her: not everyone likes me

Me: Hmmm..just to name a few...Me times 100, jason, rob, meck, and like everyone else

Me: If I knew more people that you know, I could name like 50 more

Her: i dont think meck ever liked me for one he was just an asshole, jason doesnt know what he likes, and rob likes me as a friend and i dont care if anyone else likes me i just want you too like me

Me: Wow

Me: *******, I like you

Me: Thats all I can say

Her: k

Me: I will try and help you through whatever, but all I can really say is that I like you

Me: You are not stupid, you are not fat at all

Me: Who are you comparing yourself too?

Her: what do u mean

Me: You say that you dont do anything right, you are fat, you are stupid, and you never know anything....compared to who?

Her: im not comparing myself to anyone

Her: thats just how i feel

Me: Well how would you know then?

Me: I dont want to keep you online, but why do you feel stupid?

Her: i dont know i just do

Me: Can you think of any reason why?

Her: no i just feel that way

Me: How can you feel that way without a reason?

Me: I dont think thats possible

Her: if i dont know something i feel stupid and i do somethin wrong i feel stupid

Her: i dont know but im going to bed, ill talk to you tomorrow

Me: Ok, cheer up for god sakes

Her: ill try

Her: night babe

Me: No, do it

Me: Goodnight

Help?

Edit: For those who dont want to read, she basically is saying that she doesnt know how I could like her because she is "Fat, stupid, doesnt know anything, and because she smokes". I told her plenty of times that she is the opposite (positive) of what she thinks of herself (negative), and I wanted advice on what to tell her.

[This message has been edited by almightyares (edited 03-29-2004).]

She simply has no self-esteem to speak of. You'll be responsible for constantly reassuring this girl. If you can handle that, great, you're a cool guy. If you can't, urge her to get counseling.

You're a teenager right? She's a teenage girl right?

How did I know? They're all like that. At first I thought she just wanted you to stroke her ego a little, and that maybe the case. After all, she is a teenage girl.

But as I read on it just sounded like one of those hormone–induced-confusion-fed-slight-teenage-anxiety moods. It happens to us all, just talk her through it.

Best advice I could give to her is "Picture the person you want to be, and then become that person." (I don't mean another person, I mean type of person)

-Nocuous

yeah, they are just horomones, and plus shes a girl, girls want to hear that they arent fat and dumb. she just wants you to reasure her because she likes you. just ask her out.



EDIT: Does that mean that a girl likes you if she fishes for compliments?

someone help me with this. It makes sence dosnet it?

[This message has been edited by bushy (edited 03-29-2004).]

keep that transcript and read it in about ten years...

Gee I wonder why shes like that. She obviuosly doesnt want to sound like shes bragging about herself or something.

It was pretty pathetic one of those

Im so ugly

No your beautiful im the one thats ugly

Im so fat

No im so fat your so thin

Does my bum look big in this

No of course it doesnt you look great

Thanks for the real quick responses. I just turned 19, she is 17, turning 18 in May. I figured that she just needed some re-assurance on everything, but it seems like she will never get through her head that she isnt any of what she says she is.

For the being fat issue, after several times of telling her that she is not fat at all (I seriously think she is not fat), I finally offered to help her. I offered to run/jog/walk with her, workout with her, and help plan her meals. She didnt want too because she said that she wouldnt be able to keep up, and I explained that everyone who just starts excercising has to start at their own pace. I think the being stupid thing has to do with when I help her with her homework or something.

I can and WILL help her through this, I plan on being there for whatever she needs.

Also, it was not one of those pathetic conversations, so to speak. I said that I was fat to make a point, but sometimes it does get like that. I have no choice but to say that I am the one that is xxxxx (put any self inflicted put-down there) just so she doesnt think that she really is fat. Ugh, I am getting pissed. I will just do what everyone said and Im sure everything will be fine. Thanks

quote:Originally posted by bushy:

EDIT: Does that mean that a girl likes you if she fishes for compliments?



Damn I hope so. Every girl I know fishes for compliments.

But seriously, they all do that at one point or another. Most guys do too.

Ok man, I will give you the knowledge that will carry you through the rest of your life.

Women, On Occation, could be concidered a servicible substitute for masturbation.

Beyond that just let it ride, nod and smile, and keep on shoveling the shit.

so..heres what you do..

invite her over...

go into kitchen...

get a nice sharp knife

and hack her to pieces! problem solved.



no, wait...do what ^ they ^ said

"its time for your medication Mr Psycho" "eh thats CAPTAIN Psycho" dammit. good afternoon in Rio...

EDIT: EDIT: EDIT: EDIT: EDIT: please ignore Me (the other me that is..)

[This message has been edited by Captain Psycho (edited 03-29-2004).]

She feels like she doesn't deserve a guy like you. She really does need some help. It is typical for a girl to feel fat at some point, but to constantly need your reassurance and attention is a bad sign. If you want to be in a relationship with her, and she is not going to go for counseling, you better be ready for the long haul. She is going to get attached to you because you are so reassuring of her and treat her with kid gloves. You are providing her with the warm and fuzzys, and the warm and fuzzys are addictive.

In short, unless you want to drag a big baby around throughout the relationship, get her some help. She needs it.

quote:Originally posted by Captain Psycho:

so..heres what you do..

invite her over...

go into kitchen...

get a nice sharp knife

and hack her to pieces! problem solved.



no, wait...do what ^ they ^ said

"its time for your medication Mr Psycho" "eh thats CAPTAIN Psycho" dammit. good afternoon in Rio...

EDIT: EDIT: EDIT: EDIT: EDIT: please ignore Me (the other me that is..)

[This message has been edited by Captain Psycho (edited 03-29-2004).]

Here's what YOU do:

Stick your hand in a blender

shove the bloody stump up your ass

go back to being your usual 13 year old self

DO NOT:

Come back here...

Yeah I really don't know her so I can't say for sure but it seems she's doing this for attention. Best advice I can give you is when she hints for sympathy don't give it to her. Act like you don't really care, but don't be mean about it. There was this girl I knew that used to pretend to cut herself, and draw all over her arm to make it look like she cut herself because she was a little over weight. I guess wanted people to feel sorry for her to feel better about herself or something. But yeah just trying to help out because I hate when I'm in that situation myself.

She's another fucking typical female. Find someone else.

you guys are gay, she is saying she is fat and shit so that she can get your attention dumbass. just ignore her and then she will want you more and stop being so selfish. and your gay for talking like a pussy to her.

quote:Originally posted by hamburglar:

you guys are gay, she is saying she is fat and shit so that she can get your attention dumbass. just ignore her and then she will want you more and stop being so selfish. and your gay for talking like a pussy to her.



I bet you get laid ALL the time LOL

Yeah, i know how you feel. I once through i loved a girl. She had the "fat" problem but she is not shes hoter then hell but 0 self o steam. And she didnt smoke or anything, she complined a ton but idk i still through i loved her. but anyway enough me if you can handle resuring her everyday or every time she gets in her moods then go for it dude i got played and just dont fall to much for her because, no offence thoes type of people more than likly arent good in the long run.

i hate it when girls ask "why do you like me?"..they are all WAY to self-conscious and think that all you want is their sweet sweet pussy.even if its true,its still a bitch to answer.next time a girls asks me that im just fucking leaving.well..uhh...good luck with your hoe!