I always used to go by this saying. That is, before I was in love.

Back in the summer, one of my friends fell in love with his gf. He was with her every day and would always hang with her. All of us got mad at him once because he was leaving one of our houses to go hang out with her. That's where we basically got real pissed.

But then school started, and now I have a gf. We've been going out for about a month and a week, but we talked every night on the phone for about 2 weeks before that. I love this girl, and now I find myself being with her every day. It makes me crazy if I don't. I just have to see her to get through the day. What my problem is though, is my friends can't really see that.

All they see is that I'm hanging out with her every day and never have time for them. First off, that's bullshit. I never do shit with friends on weekdays anyways, so why not hang out with my gf? It doesn't affect them in any way if I go to her house or if I go to my own, alone. They don't understand why I go there everyday though. All my friends (with the exception of one, who is the only friend I can really talk to this about) have never been in love, and are big "players". You know, the guys who only really want action from a girl and could care less about her or her feelings. The only time where they kind of have a right to bitch at me about this was last night. I already had plans to do something with my gf, but then suddenly one of them calls me up and says that we are hanging out tonight. I knew if I told him I was hanging with my gf then they would be extremely pissed off (because one of my friends used to ditch us all the time for his girl and this guy on the phone got so mad) so I told him I had homework and couldn't hang out. yeah, they caught me and bitched me out. i told them the truth, but they were just like "It's fine that you had plans with her, but heres the thing. You always have plans with her. You never have time for us anymore." I don't think that's entirly true, because I hang out with them as much as I can, and when I'm not, I'll hang out with my gf. I don't see anything wrong with it. those friends just don't understand how much I love her and always want to be with her.

I'm just kind of upset at how they are getting mad at me over this whole thing. some things they make good points about, but some they shouldn't really be mad about. What are your opinions?

it goes as far as this, if your in love with the girl its ho's first. If youve been freinds with your boys for years, and ;your in love with your girlthebn you make the dicision. if its just some random girl then its bro's first.

btw i didndt read your post just the title but i will read it in a little bti i need to do some stuff and i dont have the patience right now. then ill post some more.

[This message has been edited by Psychotogen (edited 03-27-2004).]

Consider:

Most high school relationships are immature and simply meant to be experiements. You are SUPPOSED to date around, find out what you like, etc. Getting too attached to a girl in high school is silly in my opinion, as you have most of your life to live. Chances are you'll end up meeting a girl you "love" in college or in the real world.

Friends (your true friends) don't come and go like girls. Always stick close to your good friends.

Here's a story which happened a few years ago:

2 cars of hoodlums with eggs and gloves were driving to the city to steal some bikes. Old skool looking frames, very nice. On the way, the car infront of us suddenly did a u-turn. We kept driving and we called the boyz in the other car. they said that their girls called and they wanna go out. That's some bullshit. We kept going and got the bikes. 2 bikes, they barely fit in 1 car. We egged some cars and people on the way home. We met up with car no.2 and told them to suck on big hairy cocks for dogging it. Bro's before hoez, you fucks!!!

Girls come and go. Friends do not. Simple. Plan with the boys. If you are free and the girl calls, it's fine. But if you plan to chill with your boyz, then while you are wiht the boyz you leave for your girl, that's fucked up.

yea yea, i'm a chick but i have a similar but different situation ... best friend and i used to hang out together all the time, she got a bf and i was mopey then i got a bf and our bfs were best friends so it's like woohoo, can all hang out and not lose time with eachother and understand if we can't hang out too ... now the bad thing with that is, if one pair breaks, it's like that social ness falls apart. guess what? now i'm single again and she's always with her bf, and only now we're starting to hang out just us again. she used to get mad at me for ditching her for a guy ... now it's vice versa sort of ... (sigh). understandable but complicated all at the same time.

It is completely up to you. Just remember, you won't get any by hanging with your friends all of the time. Why don't you compromise and hang out with both, periodically going with one or the other.

In my personal situation, I have chosen my girlfriend. I don't consider myself that good of friends with many of the guys I hang out with. Besides, my girlfriend's friends are friendly...

I think it's a "right of passage" into manhood for the guy to be able to say "f_uck off" to his bros, and to go with the girl. Of course, bros should come first when you are 6 or 7 years old, and still playing with toys and frogs, etc.. But when you are 15 (or whatever), and start getting gushy feelings about girls, and even mysterious hard-ons when you don't ask for them, then I think it's time for you guys to put the toys back in the toybox, and start socializing with the opposite sex. You can be sure that when your bros grow up, and start getting their own fuzzy feelings about girls, etc., they will also put their toys, and frogs and eggs away, and get on with life. Love, Venus.

Interesting point Pinay. I think the phrase "Bros Before Ho's" is like a frat boy thing. If you're in love with a girl, she's not really a "Ho". The "Ho's" they are talking about is the random sorority sluts at the Frat houses.

^^^I know, but it's the most commen saying. Just like the girls have "chicks b4 dicks".

And I totally agree with some of you. I've never been with my friends and have my girl call so I just leave with her. The only thing close to ditching them was on thursday night, but still, I already had plans with her before hand, so I don't really consider it cheating. I don't want to lose my friends because I'm always with this girl, but I love her, so I will spend every day with her. I compromise and I find time for both of them. Most of the time, on the weekday, if I dont hang out with a friend after school, then I'll hang with her. If They wanna hang after school, then I'll hang with my gf at night. Its as simple as that. Yet they still get mad at how I spend so much time with her. Oh well. As long as I'm still spending as much time with them. Maybe later down the road when these friends of mine find a girl they love, they'll understand. Thats what happened to me with that other friend who loved his gf in the summer. Hell, just the other day, one of my friends said to me "Man, I'm starting to considering finding a nice girl to be with. You know, like you have, I wanna find that one girl for me..."

So hopefully soon they will understand. Thanks everyone for your help.