I just got into a fight with my girl yesterday, about sex. She says she has no sex drive, which made me extremely depressed. She also has a hard time opening up and talking about her feelings, and problems. She is a very independent girl.

My problem is, since she said that, if we ever do have sex again, I will feel like she is just doing it for me. She says she loves me very much, and that she thought everything was fine.

I want to marry this girl, and spend the rest of my life with her, but I can't go without sex. I get bitched at for looking at porn, but I told her, what the fuck do you expect me to do? Porn for the next 50 years? and she was like yeah.

I can't do that. I am thinking about cheating on her, if she doesn't get her shit straight.

I don't know what I can say to her to get her to open up, and tell me what the fuck the problem is. Also, now I am doubting every time we had sex for the past 2 years. Like it was all fake.

I know that's not true, because, when we have sex, its awesome, and I can feel her cum like at least 3 times every session.

How the fuck can you fuck like she does, and have no sex drive? Oh, yeah, I'm 21, and shes 18.

Someone please give me some insight into the female mind, before I do something that will destroy things.

Just dump the hoe. Life is all about sex, it's all guys think about.

No, its not life, but it is important, and if I leave her, I have no where to go, except to texas or cali. If things don't work out, I will be hitchhiking somewhere, anywhere.

I will just leave my current life behind.

quote:Originally posted by stupid noob:



....Someone please give me some insight into the female mind, before I do something that will destroy things.

This guy finds a bottle in his back yard, rubs it and a genie appears. The genie informs him he'll grant him 1 wish. The guy says "Well, I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm afraid to fly and I get seasick... I'd like for you to build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive there."

The genie says "My god, do you realize the logistics in building a bridge that long? The concrete, the steel it would take.. isn't there SOMETHING else you wish for?"

"Yes", the guy says, "I'd like some insight into the female mind."

The genie replied "Would you like that bridge to be four lanes or eight?"

Hrmmmm... hope this helps...

-Extant

It's not all about sex, as he makes the effort to point out, but the lack of communication. Care to make a stereotypical comment about guys and communication? Sex IS an important factor in relationships, whether the puritans want to admit it or not.

sn, don't just give up. She must have a very good reason (at least in her own mind) for being this way. Try not to assume she's just crazy or something (although trying to control your porn intake sounds pretty irrational). And cheating won't solve anything, if a solution's what you want.

The thing is, as far as I can see, there isn't much that YOU can do right now except make sure she knows how important this issue is.

Fucking smartass. It did make me laugh though. I suppose you are right. I just wish I had a fucking clue as to what shes thinking. About anything. Ever. Women are complicated, but I have never met one this complicated.

Oh yeah, shes adopted, from birth, but has always known, and her family was always jerks to her and treated her differently. She has never had anyone to open up to until me. This shit is hard, I feel like I have to be this girls shrink.

Edit: Thanks Tess. That made me feel a little better.

[This message has been edited by stupid noob (edited 03-26-2004).]

Scottie doesn't know,

Scottie doesn't know...

A lot of girls don't have much of a sex drive when they aren't horny. You just gotta get them in the mood. But if she can't even get horny, then there's a problem.

Step 1: Grow Up

Geez dude.

quote:I want to marry this girl, and spend the rest of my life with her, but I can't go without sex.

Some fucking husband you're gonna make. She won't put out so you think "man, i can't do this, i'd better cheat on her".

If you ever cheat on a girl, you are a scumbag. If your need for sex is so great that you want to look elsewhere, have the decency to break up with the girl you supposedly love so much, at least then you'll be doing the loving thing.

PS: the most likely reason she is being weird about having sex with you is that you're pressuring her for sex all the time.

[This message has been edited by theBishop (edited 03-27-2004).]

Why doesn't she go to her gynocologist and get pills or something? The've got libido increasing meds for females now. She might want to explore her options.

While sex isn't (or shouldn't be) the foundation of a relationship, it certainly is a crucial part. How can you "be" with someone and not have the passion for them to actually be with them?

Cheating, is defintely NOT the answer. You said you wanted to marry her. If your feelings are that true and deep how can you consider cheating? That's low.

You need to work with her and figure out what the problem is. It could be mental: maybe a traumatic past experience? It could be physical. You guys need to figure that out though, not just accept that sex will always suck.

quote:Originally posted by stupid noob:

I just got into a fight with my girl yesterday, about sex. She says she has no sex drive, which made me extremely depressed. She also has a hard time opening up and talking about her feelings, and problems. She is a very independent girl.

My problem is, since she said that, if we ever do have sex again, I will feel like she is just doing it for me. She says she loves me very much, and that she thought everything was fine.

I want to marry this girl, and spend the rest of my life with her, but I can't go without sex. I get bitched at for looking at porn, but I told her, what the fuck do you expect me to do? Porn for the next 50 years? and she was like yeah.

I can't do that. I am thinking about cheating on her, if she doesn't get her shit straight.

I don't know what I can say to her to get her to open up, and tell me what the fuck the problem is. Also, now I am doubting every time we had sex for the past 2 years. Like it was all fake.

I know that's not true, because, when we have sex, its awesome, and I can feel her cum like at least 3 times every session.

How the fuck can you fuck like she does, and have no sex drive? Oh, yeah, I'm 21, and shes 18.

Someone please give me some insight into the female mind, before I do something that will destroy things.

man dont cheat, love isnt based on sex. I love a lot of my friends. i think that if you love her and you marry her and she dosent want sex theres always pron. i mean. Marry her if you love her but if you are thinking of cheating then you dont. so dont marry her.

You're 21? Because you sound like you are 16.

Just beat off. if its that big of a deal she gets involed, ask her if she wants to watch? Your probably too used to some sort of action.

try to work the problem out, whatever you do, do NOT cheat, that's not gonna solve anything and just make you a bastard, her hate you and you being known (depending on social situations) as "the cheater" or something to the like. cheating is the worst thing you could do to someone, if the problem persists and you can't work it out, maybe you shouldn't be together after all. main thing, do NOT cheat. period.

I don't want to cheat on her, but porn is just not enough. I want the connection that we feel during sex. Intimacy. (sp?) I love her with all my heart, but all this makes me feel like she doesn't love me back. Why can't I have it all? The love, and the sex? I used to have it all, and then, things just changed.

I don't remember when, or why things changed, and neither can she. This really sucks, I feel like shit.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by stupid noob:

[B]I just got into a fight with my girl yesterday, about sex. She says she has no sex drive, which made me extremely depressed. She also has a hard time opening up....

(you should have stopped right there, it is the truth)